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my wife's death
two years ago my wife of 32 years died of a heart attack while i was asleep next to her. i cannot get over the feeling that i could have, should have done something to prevent her death. this eats away at me constantly. she had a cholesterol problem, which i knew nothing about, although i should have, but i don't believe that it is possible to die from cholesterol.
I am also sorry for your loss. My daughter is the same age as your wife and she is dying from heart disease (her transplanted heart is now failing). I keep trying to remind myself that what happens to her is between Heavenly Father and her soul and really has nothing to do with me other than the fact that I was an instrument for simply bringing her here. She has only been married for two years now and her husband is also devastated about everything that has been happening. Try and focus on the knowledge that her soul had accomplished the reason for her being here and it was her time to return home.
I've been thinking about what you are going through - can't imagine. However, considering all the alternatives and the lack of choice we have when and where we die, then in bed next to my wife while I am sleeping would be my first choice. I hope she would remember the good times we had together. Shift your focus to those good times you had together and try to move on. She would've wanted it that way
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It only means you are a nice person and still keep some blame on yourself.
I tell you what happened to me, little different, but it is also about blame. I used to blame some relative because of my father death, he got his second deadly heart attack by talking to that person, and the subject was upsetting to my father. After soon I realized I was wrong, because he could of die just about from anything in that stage his heart was at the time. I think that person felt the same, guilt and sorrow but never said to us, but he helped a lot later on many ways. I think of him only with good heart.
Same with your wife, it just happened to be the place in her own bed. Forgive yourself! I am sure she would forgive you, because you couldn’t do better, you didn’t know better! You couldn’t help her!
Healing for your heart and mind!!