anyone else live like this???

[kristine0027]

I'm a 28 year old female, I have been diagnosed with innapropriate sinus tachacardia and pvcs...I also have terrible anxiety, which my heart problems led to me having....iv had my heart problems for about 5 years now...one day it just hit me and after numerous tests and holters and medications I'm now to where I am today....my heart scares me to death....I try so hard to live each day fully but how can you when you have no strength, constant chest pains shortness of breath lightheadedness, constantly cold, shaky ughh the list goes on...I believe my heart medication is doing my body more wroung than right....I'm on Acebutolol 200mg once a day....I actually feel like possibly I'm getting worse...but I talk to my doctors and basically its we've done everything tried everything thers nothing we can do...its either u live with the symptoms of ur medication or the constant racing heart beat of 120 to 200 bts per m...yeah that's obvious which id choose....I just feel so alone, no one understands my life my pain my fears...I lay in bed every night afraid to close my eyes....afraid that I won't wake up and be able to wrap my arms around my only child...I believe I'm becoming a hypochondirac I am constantly looking up things on the internet and fearing the worst....I play out scenes in my head as if it were actually happening or if it did happen...I don't know what to do anymore, I feel as if I'm deteoriating and no one will listen or believe what is going on inside...maybe its a possibility I need a physcho eval...I have always been normal and happy never depressed but what is nromal? I think I just needed to see if anyone out there is listening and having the same problems?

[u4iachic]

The first thing I want you to know is YOU are not a hypochondriac.  It took 17 years before I could even convince a doctor that my AVNRT of 240bpm was not a Panic Attack when it happened.  I currently see a psychiatrist to deal with the issues and anxiety I have surrounding my heart.   I'm sorry, but it is reasonable for anyone to be anxious over their heart.  I am currently working on building up antidepressants and anti anxiety meds to help me cope more effectively.  I spend way too much time obsessing over my heart and it has to stop.  Guess what, we are building the meds up slowly, because I'm afraid of what they will do to my heart.  I would suggest you find someone who will talk to you and help you focus on your quality of life, which is most likely suffering right now.  I really am in the same condition and trying to do the same thing.  One thing I have tried to do is stay off the internet.  If I find myself googling symptoms etc.  I immediately walk away.  There is too much negative and not enough positive information out there.  I have had 2 ablations on my heart and continue to struggle with the emotional aspect of palpitations, as I continue to have them.  I completely understand what you say when you said you would rather have a pacemaker.  I have been there many times.  If it stopped all of the emotional turmoil, it is understandable.  Know that there is a light on the other side.  Getting our emotions under control really can put a dent in this.  I am currently having anxiety issues and I am back on this forum after a 6 year absence if that tells you anything!  Good Luck, and know there are some really great people on here that have pulled me through several times! There is a great Cardiac Arrhythmia support group on facebook that has helped me as well.  It is a closed group and you can ask to be a member, posts are private from your other friends.  

[MichelleP_3811]

I would highly suggest going and talking to someone.  The stress you are under about all this is very well making the situation considerably worse.  That doesn't mean you will not still have issues but stress does a number on our nervous system.  You can even have some hidden anxiety that you aren't even aware of.  I spent years all wound up and only realized how wound up I was once my life slowed down a bit.  So do not fret over going and talking this out.  It may help give you your life back.  And if a pacemaker is going to make your quality of life better then don't fear asking about that as well.  I would take some time to really contemplate the commitment you will need to take the rest of your life with one but just weigh all your options and choose the route that feels the most beneficial for you.  I wish you luck as you sort this out and get your life back.  Stay strong and we are always here if you need to talk.

[kristine0027]

Yeah my doctor reasures me at every appointment that my condition isn't fatal, but how can u believe and trust in that when u kno what your feeling...somtimes it just gets so bad that I just rush to the er...than I get there and I'm fine...I actually recently got over the want to run to doctors as these attacks are happening, but instead I curl up in bed and pull all the blankets over my head and just try to get thru it...this is why I'm afraid of sleeping because my bad attacks are slways in the evening, strange...iv felt like I was having a heart attack humdreds of times...get every symptom, its beyond scarry..

[kristine0027]

Yeah my doctor reasures me at every appointment that my condition isn't fatal, but how can u believe and trust in that when u kno what your feeling...somtimes it just gets so bad that I just rush to the er...than I get there and I'm fine...I actually recently got over the want to run to doctors as these attacks are happening, but instead I curl up in bed and pull all the blankets over my head and just try to get thru it...this is why I'm afraid of sleeping because my bad attacks are slways in the evening, strange...iv felt like I was having a heart attack humdreds of times...get every symptom, its beyond scarry..

[achillea]

The way your heart is behaving would be produce anxiety in just about anyone.  But it sounds as though you are under pretty good medical care and are not really in danger of death.

You feel as though you are all alone with your condition and your fears, and mention "maybe its a possibility I need a physcho eval."  I think that is a very good idea.  When we are stressed by things we cannot change, it is healthful to talk with a professional about them.  From personal experience, I know that a good shrink and/or counselor can teach you ways to make your life a lot more comfortable and much less frightening..

[kristine0027]

Yes it is a betta blocker iv been on every medication and none of them work with me...that's why my doctor told me I'm pretty much at the end of the ropes...he also told me an abalition wouldn't do anygood for me and he believes I'm too young for a pacemaker ..but I'm sure id be more willing to try that than live like tthis...its so good to talk about these things with people who are dealing with the same problems makes u feel less alone!

[Jerry_NJ]

Sorry to read you are having some much pain and worry... as you are trying please focus on your child and you life, keep living.

I don't know the brand medication you list but assume it is a beta blocker ... which has side effects on anyone who takes it.  I take only 50 mg (25 every 12 hours) of Atenolol a generic beta blocker and I know it causes fatigue and shortness of breath.

Has any doctor discussed a ablation?  I don't recall if that is a possible cure for tachycardia such as yours.

There are many on this community who suffer from tachycardia (mine is driven by atrial fibrillation) and hope you'll get some more experience based facts.

One thing for sure, "mind over matter" is your best hope until a cure if found.