How to create a relationship with Hep B

[silvieL]

Hi,
I am Hep b carrier, single at the moment. Was just wondering how it is possible to meet someone and to create a relationship when one has Heb B? When it's the time to say I have virus in my blood?
Have a recent story, I liked a guy, we kissed and then told him abt my disease. He freaked out as he is not vaccinated, and he has a sore in his mouth (my mouth was OK). I was told by my doc that kissing is safe,  but now I feel guilty I didnt tell the guy abt my disease before.
Feeling completely desperate, will I ever find someone? When is the right time to say I have a virus?
Thanks for your comments

[stevenNYer]

Those individuals knowledgable of HepB knows that B-heppers post little to no risk to their partners if you make responsible plans.

But starting or being in a relationship, it fair to assume that the partner is clueless about HepB and is a high flight risk, despite the fact that he / she could be this great open minded person.  

So if it's me, I would take it slow, and before becoming intimate say, "I want you to be aware that I am a HBV carrier (which is the truth and better than saying I have HepB), I am fine and my doctor don't even think I need treatment (true again in your case), but before we have sexual contact, I want to make sure you are immune to it."  And regardless of what happens, you go to bed knowing you did the right and responsible thing.

[skylanator]

Yes, zellyf has it right, I think.  Definitely become good friends with the person, and let them know when you're still in a friend phase.  

[Peteshine]

I definately agree to take the relationship slow and just be honest. If a partner or potential partner get immunisation i can't see why it should be such a major issue. I was also lucky as i was in a steady relationship although it was real difficult trying to tell my girlfriend!!! You say you are in late 20s right? What part of Europe?

[silvieL]

Thanks a lot for your comments, to both of you. This is very useful.
I am in my late 20s. I know about my desease for more than two years. I wasnt considered by my doctors as a candidate for treatement. I live in Europe, maybe here we are not so advanced in these things here. Maybe I should change a doctor

[zellyf]

How old are you?  How long have you had it?

e-negative with a 9000 IU/ml viral count might make you a candidate for treatment.

I'm not sure how to advise you.  I don't know what I would do.  I was lucky, I guess, that I was already married when I found out.  That is a very complicated situation but my gut tells me that your best move would be to delay any intimacy for as long as possible and then explain your situation before anything occurs.  Hopefully by that time he will have gotten to know you enough to want to continue to pursue a potential relationship even with the virus.  You will have to be prepared with a short concise speech about how you are not a danger to him in casual contact and not at all if he gets vaccinated.  I don't think its a good idea to spring it on someone later.

[cajim]

Your DNA is not considered high.  You may not be too contagious.  To make sure your partner is safe, find out if he is appropriate for vaccination.  If yes, get vaccinated until he is anti-HBs positive, then your HBV has no effect on him.

[silvieL]

Thanks a lot for your reply.
My recent lab exams are:
I am HBs Ag positif
anti HBs negatif
HBe Ag negatif
anti HBe positif
HBV DNA 9227 Ul/ml

[cajim]

Knowing you are a HBV carrier is far from enough.  Knowing what stage you are in is very important.  Most of the stages are not contagious and most of the general contacts are not risky to others.  Knowing your stage also prepares you to explain your status to your friend and prepares him so that your HBV is not a risk to him at all.