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Avatar universal

Cirrosis

Hello, I just want to discuss what is going on with my husbands health. I feel so alone with this. My husband was diagnosed with Hep C and Alcohol Cirrosis of the liver. He has had bleeding inside his stomach and chest, but has never been banded. He also has gallstones and enlarged spleen, malnutrition and swollen ankles. I need help with this one, at times he gets a pain in his leg so severe he isn't able to walk. Not sure what that is about. He has a Meld Score of 13 although he doesn't qualify for a liver transplant. He also has nose bleeds. He has not stop drinking at all. He tells me it's to late, he feels the damage is done already. I disagree because I feel he can extend his time by not drinking. I'm so hurt by his refusing but I know if he doesn't want to stop, then I am powerless.One dreadful day my husband decided to get so drunk and was brought to our home, confused, difficulty breathing, violent and his hands were flapping. He would be conscious and then unconcious. It was a nightmare, I called the ambulance but he eventually came around and refused treatment. He has also quit going to his specialist, or any Doctor for that matter. He also has itching and problems with sleep. No acites that I know of. But on weekends when he's drinking he talks to himself and sings and dances, I don't even know who he is anymore. Please please help me to understand all this. I'm so worried, I feel so lonely with all this upon me and hurt for him also even though I'm furious with his drinking. I'm worried I'm losing my husband. He still works, he just doesn't drink on those days but when he's off work it's drunk time for him. I'm so scared!!!
18 Responses
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Avatar universal
Im so sorry, please seek the help of alanon it will help you
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
It is very sad that you can have a person committed if they have a gun trying to kill themself but it ok to  kill yourself  with alcohol.   Them system not quite right.  I hope and pray things turn around for you and him.
Helpful - 0
1689583 tn?1387752394
That is exactly what happened to my brother in law ,swollen blue feet , neuropothy, violent rages without any knowledge of what he was doing or saying , up all night and sleeping during the day , urinating himself , then there would be moments of clarity and feeling ok sort of speaking , then right back to not making any sense , seeing bugs , hearing things it was horrible what we went through . The days and nights we  spent crying , we tried to have him committed they would not do  it unless he consented, for us his passing and for himself was a relief , he was no longer suffering and we weren't as well. I hope for you it does not get to that stage and really wish you the best , stay strong.
Helpful - 0
1644356 tn?1349783211
You are correct that without intervention it can only get worse for him. Please seriously consider Alanon and or AA for you, not him. It could prove to be a source of strength for you. I can attest that it has helped me with dealing with the impact of HCV. Take what you need from the meetings and leave the rest. I pray that you will be granted serenity.
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
From what I was told by the Paramedics is that if he gets violent I can't have him commited but I can call the Sheriff Dept and they can get him admitted against his will. My children are grown and live in another state I will do everything I can to be safe, if it means calling 911 I will have to do that. This is all a nightmare for me as I'm sure his disease is terrible for him. .I don't have a power of attorney or a will. Thank you for mentioning all this to me, it is very informative. I will look into all that. I had moved out of my home before I knew he was sick because of his alcoholism. But I eventually moved back home with him because I was told by my parents of his illness. So I came back to try and help him, His ankles and legs were so swollen and his feet were numb, he could hardly walk. I felt so hurt for him.  I thought he would want the help, and would seek help for himself. Unfortunately that is not the case. Reading all this brings me to reality, it is just going to get worse for him. Thank you for your prayers. God bless you.
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
It sounds like your husband's behavior is dangerous and unpredictable because of his hepatic encephalopathy and his alcoholism.  It doesn't sound safe for you, for him, or for others.  If he refuses to help himself (stop drinking and treat his liver disease) are there any other options for him?  In your state would it be possible to have him hospitalized in a psychiatric unit for 72 hours to be de-toxed and stabilized enough so that a doctor could explain the critical state of his liver and what End Stage Liver Disease will be like for him and what dying of a failed liver involves?  He can't hear it now because his brain is not functioning correctly due to the toxins, so until he's treated for alcoholism and then treated for HE, he will not have the ability to process the information well enough to make choices for himself.  If he is violent, would it be helpful to call the police to take him away?  That may be another way to get him some crisis intervention.  I hope you don't have children in the house, and if you do, you may want to consider their safety and perhaps send them to a relative for a short time until you can see what options might work.  Do you have durable power of attorney for your husband?  Does he have a will?  Has he made requests for his last wishes?  These things are vitally important, since he is choosing to speed up the process of dying by actively killing his liver and his brain.  If you don't have these documents, try to get those taken care of.  Otherwise, if something happens to him and he can't make his medical decisions, it will be harder for you to make his medical decisions.  When a spouse dies, it is difficult for the remaining spouse to sort things out (house, property, assets, finances, etc.) if there isn't a will in place.  I hate to focus on these difficult topics, but if he refuses care and/or you aren't able to get him committed for the maximum number of hours allowed in your state to be evaluated and detoxed, then at some point, as his behavior accelerates, you will probably end up needing to make a call to the police
Keep us posted.  You're in my prayers.
Advocate1955
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
I'm so sorry to hear about the loss of your friends. This is a terrible disease.I can feel your pain. I had lost a friend from Hep C. She hid alot of her symptoms from me. My beloved friend got an infection in her stomach and went into a coma and passed away. But she didn't drink alcohol. I miss her so much.  I don't know what it would take before my husband seeks help. I'm slowly losing my husband and in a cruel way. It hurts. Thank you for your reply. God bless you.
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
I forgot to mention his bleeding is internal. But he has vomit blood before in the toilet. He's got gallstones and his platelet count is so low that they don't even want to do surgery on him. I know this because he did go to see a Doctor and Specialist when he was first diagnosed. The Specialist told him if he's still drinking not to bother coming back to him. He was put on some blood pressure med to help the veins in his stomach and chest but he also quit taking them.
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Hector thank you so much for helping me to understand what is going on with my husband.You have really help me to know more about this disease at the stage my husband is in.  He has Hep C and Alcoholic Cirrosis. I say I'm alone with all this because his family lives in another state, their 5 states away from us and don't even call me or care to ask how he's doing. He has no one here but me. From what the Paramedics told me they said he was drunk. But his hands were flapping up and down and I've seen this before, also all the other symptoms. Another time he was hallucinating, seeing people walk around. Then his chest hurt so bad he couldn't barely breath. It's hard to tell if it's the alcohol or Encephalopthy or both. Another time he had a machete in his hand wanting to go fight with my neighbor and when I tried to take it from him he threaten me. The next day he didn't remember anything. This is all overwelming for me. Thank you for letting me know about Alanon. I will find one in my area. I also need to go buy a box of gloves for if he bleeds out. I pray it doesn't come to that but the way he's drinking your right he is advancing his disease. The Paramedics told me to call them if he is unconsious because that's the only way they can help him because he refuses.  I will do my best to keep my sanity. I don't want to go down with him. God bless you Hector. I pray God works his healing on you. I'm so happy to hear that your being in charge of your health, taking care and doing what the Doctor tells you. It's nice to hear a good outcome.
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
I had three friends that were brothers.. All three had Hep C.  One brother quit drinking and went through treatment, has been clear for over 5 years, and is doing great.  The other two both told me that they were not willing to give up their lifestyle and they are both gone now... as in deceased.  Both were in their 50's.  It is a very sad situation indeed.. I'm so sorry that you are having to go through this.  I had a very hard time watching my friends go through this, I can only imagine what it must be like when it is your spouse, or other family member.  Take care..
Helpful - 0
789911 tn?1368636783
Sorry about your situation.  Sounds like you are really pressed against the wall.  
My sister told me the other day, If I thought for a minute my husband would leave me for my behavior. I wouldnt do it.   I can handle myself with others fairly well.   It gave me something to think about.  My behavior problems at one time were associated with drinking but now  I blame it on treatment and so on..  I havnt had a drink in 6 years and was very lucky to make it out with very little liver damage even though I have had hep c God only knows how long..  
If you had somewhere to go, Maybe you should leave him by himself and see if he straightens out.   If not, sounds like your going to need divine intervention for him.    
Wishing you the best turnout!
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Thank you for your reply. I'm so appreciative about knowing there are people out there who really care. I understand what your saying. It's never to late to quit. He just doesn't want to try. He tells me he feels powerless. Today I found some liquor hidden in his dresser. Now he's hiding it from me. I'm done talking to him about it because he gets very angry. It just makes things worse.
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Thank you so much for your reply. I will look into going to Alanon or an open AA meeting.  I feel like I'm just watching him kill himself slowly. It's so wrong!!!!
Helpful - 0
446474 tn?1446347682
This is a very tragic story and unfortunately it is not uncommon. People would rather die than give up their addictions.

I will explain all the symptoms and complications your husband has from his cirrhosis...

"bleeding inside his stomach and chest, but has never been banded."
So he has vomited blood, correct? Or was it only internal? So he has varices. Enlarge veins around his GI track? Bleeding is due to poor coagulation of the blood. His nose bleeds are also an indication of the blood's inability to clot.
By the way be caring with his blood. Make sure you don't have any open cuts when handling his blood. You don't want to get infected with hepatitis C from him. Wear gloves when around his blood just as a healthcare worker would.

"enlarged spleen, malnutrition and swollen ankles"
Enlarge spleen is a very common complication of cirrhosis. Malnutrition is properly a combination of being an alcoholic and not eating and liver disease when the liver can no longer metabolize proteins and so muscle mass wastes away until the patient is just skin and bones.
Swollen ankles are signs of fluid retention just like Ascites.

He has a Meld Score of 13 although he doesn't qualify for a liver transplant
He doesn't qualify for a transplant because of his drinking, correct?
I also have a MELD of 13 but I follow my doctors orders and take my meds and I am doing okay. Nothing like your husband.
Your husband's liver can get a lot worse and will with all his drinking. His liver could take years to fail but cirrhosis has many complications that if not managed properly can be deadly. If he vomits to much blood he could bleed out unless he gets to the hospital in time. His Hepatic Encephalopathy could cause him to go into a coma and never come out of it. This is more likely to happen before his liver fails unless his liver function is so injured by the alcohol it could poison his liver so that it fails.

"...my husband decided to get so drunk and was brought to our home, confused, difficulty breathing, violent and his hands were flapping. He would be conscious and then unconcious."
Okay this is a stupid question but I have to ask,,,,are you 100% sure that he is drinking? He smells of alcohol, there are empty bottles around etc. Because Hepatic Encephalopathy can make a person behave like there are drunk when it is only the toxins in his blood that is poisoning his brain. A person with Hepatic Encephalopathy can stubble around, slur there speak, act violent, black out, etc, without any alcohol. Like what you described above. Or it can be Encephalopathy combined with alcohol.
Signs of Hepatic Encephalopathy. This is caused by the inability of the liver to filter out toxins from food so the toxins go to his brain producing memory loss, flapping of the hands, odd behavior, poor coordination (you husband should not drive due to his alcohol issue and Hepatic Encephalopathy which can cause blackouts, stupor and coma.

"...refused treatment. He has also quit going to his specialist, or any Doctor for that matter."
If your husband continues with his drinking there is only one outcome possible... Death. How long it will take is hard to say as his liver is still relatively healthy compared to patients who are very ill and hospitalized.

As everyone here has said if he doesn't stop drinking he is going to drink himself to death. Unfortunately he is so addicted that he would rather die drinking than to live without alcohol. No one can save him but himself and if he doesn't want to stop there is nothing you can do. I would suggest getting help for yourself at AA, Alanon or some other organization. Since you husband doesn't care to live you have to save yourself and not be dragged down by him.

"He also has itching and problems with sleep"
These are complications of advanced liver disease.

"Please please help me to understand all this. I'm so worried, I feel so lonely with all this upon me and hurt for him also even though I'm furious with his drinking."

You must get support for yourself. You need to protect yourself as your husband obvious doesn't care about you or anyone but his alcohol. Taking on all this yourself is too much for any one person.

Best of luck to you in a terrible situation.
Hector
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
    This is a sad stiuation. I feel bad for you, that you have to watch someone you love destroy his self. There is not a lot you can do if he does not want to change. I agree with the others about Alanon meeting you can also go to OPEN AA meeting maybe have a member Of AA come talk to your husband. Have his doctor talk to. him.  
Helpful - 0
1689583 tn?1387752394
Sorry to hear about your husband I know what you are going through, we lost a loved one , my brother in law 2 yrs ago January 2 2010 after many years of drinking developed diabetes, was no longer able to walk doctors would no longer see him , nor did he go anyway, we watched him slowly go crazy and it was a horrible 5 yrs of hell for my sister and myself to watch someone you love kill themselves it is a terrible disease and all you can do is remember it is not your fault . I hope you do not go through what we went through . I wish you all the best , take care of yourself.
Helpful - 0
408795 tn?1324935675
Welcome to the forum.  One of my friends' wife is doing the same thing, but she does have ascites and continues to drink.  I feel sorry for you as you are truly powerless over this situation.  I suggest you read around and learn as much as you can.  Also, you may want to go to Alanon meetings, you going may help you both.  Obviously he has given up and doesn't give much of a care but you don't have to accept that totally.  Think about and focus on yourself more, see if he changes any.  It's worth a try.  The Alanon is for you, AA is for him but he's gotta want it.  Good Luck and God Bless!  

http://www.clevelandclinicmeded.com/medicalpubs/diseasemanagement/hepatology/alcoholic-liver-disease/

http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/hepatitis-c/AN00758

http://www.al-anon.alateen.org/

Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
It's never too late to stop drinking, that's just the alcoholic talking, they are the masters of justifying their behavior...Drinking will speed up things probably 2 times faster or more then it would if he quit drinking.  

Hector knows alot about transplants, but if your husband has already given up and refuses to get help, i don't know what you can do. I guess you can watch it happen, or you can not watch it happen...just know it's not your fault, it's his decision and 100% his choice to keep drinking and give up.
Helpful - 0
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