Dealing with the crazies...

[Laika]

Week 4 and I

[Docsgold]

Yes, it is a sense of accomplishment and it does feel good.  No, great is what it is.  Now, to make myself feel better about the missed doses--according to the weight based dosage I should be taking about 650-700 mgs Ribaviron, but I take 1000 mg per day--so I should be ahead of the game, right?  Yeah, sounds good to me.  (Still down to 104# and eating like a p-i-g!).

[Califia]

How'd that happen?  Looks like we did it, just piled up day after day after day.  I'm a month behind you unless I can a get a 4-week extension.  Are you both excited about nearing the end of treatment and terrified of quitting the drugs?   And to think how scared I was of STARTING them! Ah, the monkey mind just keeps doing its endless tricks.   Four more shots, hey!  Let us know how it feels so close to the finish line.   Hope it's smooth sailing from here out.

[Califia]

Yes, I'm feeling really confident and optimistic.  Like being close to the end of a really strenuous climb, and the mountain top is in sight.   A sense of accomplishment, that's what it is.   And given how gun shy I was when I started treatment, given my first bad experience with monotherapy, it also feels terrific to have faced down my worst fears.  

Oh yeah, forgot to mention that by my calculations at least you more than cleared the 80% standard.  Of course I'm on drugs and my math might be shaky, but to screw up you would have had to miss another 60 doses.

[Docsgold]

Yes, I feel GREAT to be so close to the end.  Strange thing is how my blood count actually rose last check-up.  My doc did decrease my thyroid meds---is my good mood and better physical condition due to the med decrease or just knowing I am about to finish tx?  That is my question, but I guess I won't look a gift horse in the mouth.  I am enjoying feeling good and yes I am worried about leaving the protection of the riba and interferon, and how I don't want to do this tx again, blah, blah, blah. (and do I have a right to feel that way when others have endured numerous tx attempts?)

And I am really, really aggrevated to discover that I forgot my meds yest morning.  That totals 8 missed pills for the total tx and I hope that doesn't screw things up for me.

Do you feel better, mentally and physically knowing you are getting to the end that you thought would never come?  Good luck and will be thinking about you ending tx also.  Keep me posted.

[fsplink]

Whoopie! I'm so happy to read this news. Now, it's onward and upward!

[Califia]

How'd that happen?  Looks like we did it, just piled up day after day after day.  I'm a month behind you unless I can a get a 4-week extension.  Are you both excited about nearing the end of treatment and terrified of quitting the drugs?   And to think how scared I was of STARTING them! Ah, the monkey mind just keeps doing its endless tricks.   Four more shots, hey!  Let us know how it feels so close to the finish line.   Hope it's smooth sailing from here out.

[Docsgold]

Laika,
I did not use AD's during tx.  When I began to research tx, so many advised using some type of AD.  I tried Lexapro for quite a short time, taking 1/2 dose.  Trouble is it worked too good, I didn't give a damn what went on.  And that was before tx, so I have gone without and have 4/48 left to go.  Yeah!!  I had some very rough sides for awhile, and I hate to harp on the thyroid thing, but as soon as that got leveled out I have done ok. Good luck to you.

Honey,
I am so thrilled to hear such good news.  It gives such hope especially when I am so close to ending tx.  Congratulations and thanks for sharing the good news.

[LvdByGod!]

Honey what great news and relief!!!...what a blessing...i can't think of anything better than that first check being negative...i'm prayin your hubby keeps going like this and it will be all negatives from this point out!!!! this is where we want to be "negative not possitive"...:O) little play on words there...you're so positive it's good to see you're negative...hee hee hee...brain problems you see...oh boy. i need the tv tray...or should it be called the tx tray...i actually have a bin!!! the tray would be too small!!!

:O) hey, honey i miss Cindee too! wish she'd pop in and say hi...hope and pray her and her family are doing well...


Laika, thanks for the topic, i also can relate...for me, i get the mania, obsessive thinking but no depression really...it's like i couldn't make myself cry if i wanted to...i'm too zoned...

serious thinking, book reading, concentrating, relaxing...i guess will have to wait until after treatment for such activaties...but, i have used zanax to feel calmer esp at night when i need to start settling down...it works like a charm...but if you always use it, it stops working so i started using it only for really bad episodes...

but, husband says i act worse on the zanax like i'm in slow motion...but for me it's like, "aaaahhhhh"... so i told him i won't take it any more but he has to put up with my constant high wired pmslike side effects!!!

if you ask me the zanax is much better than the constant wired, buzzing head, and knot in the stomach, tense, ready to squeeze someones head off feeling...but i will try to not take it for his sake...see what happens...ask me if he still has a head when this is over!!!;O}

i have been on prozack for years before i started treatment so i know that has helped prevent depression but it probably aggravates the manic/obsessive feeling...prozack has a speedy effect of it's own...best to find the "right" AD for you.

i must give credit to psyc drs for something, they do know which drugs are best for what...probably moreso than our regular drs...but liver drs should know what works with hepc tx...

perhaps you can get a one time visit without the "counciling part"...sense you don't need that...you would want a psychiatrist for meds not a psychologist...i've gone to both and psychiatirists are like medical drs...they don't "shrink you"....perhaps your gi can give you a referal to one to find the proper meds...diff ones have diff effects...if you decide to go that route...

trazadone is also my buddy...i can't sleep without it...it's a mild antidepresant and great for making you sleepy...no sleeping pill hangovers either...it also doesn't have the "trip" of amatryptophan...also used for sleep...but gives me nightmares and weird electric head feelings...had to get that med out of the tx bin!

thanks Laika, for bringing up the topic...it's always good to know we're not going crazy alone...hope and pray you find the right nitch for you...

sandi

[Laika]

I

[couchpotato]

I've been off the computer for a few days, thought I would check in this morning before off to work. So very happy you guys got the news so quick and so glad it has gone the way we knew it would. YES!!!!!!!!!!

Up here in the Canadian boondocks I have to wait 6 weeks for my results. Although I am definately optimistic, it is a long wait. You are lucky to get your results so fast.

Hubby continues to improve daily. Now that I am the sole breadwinner (for the time being), he is doing the cooking and cleaning, so there is a silver lining!!!!!! LOL. Hope his determination and perserverence passes over into his cooking skills, I have my fingers crossed! hahahaha

Mattie

[hepcgetlost]

What you describe is definitely within the realm of tx sides, and as you can see from the other posts, many of us relate to what you're experiencing. Since you asked, I've been on lexapro since a few months before starting treatment. At first I balked, never having taken ADs and not wanting to. But I did try it, and after about 4 weeks, I felt better. When I was into treatment and lexapro for a year, I tried to cut down the lexapro from 20 mg to 10 mg, and it was a disaster. Went back to 20 mg and I'm much better now. I would hate to think what these last 66 weeks would have been like without the lexapro. I have 6 weeks to go before I'm done, and after that I'll deal with weaning myself off the lexapro. Take in what we all have to say, get some good medical advice, and listen to your own body. Each of us reacts differently to all these meds, so what works for me, may not work for you and vice versa. Good luck with everything.  Judi :-)

[honey1616]

I chose to wait it out also on the Ads and always about time I would notice that depressed feeling and was thinking about calling the dr the next day,,,,I would feel better so Yes...I made it through tx without that.  Best of Luck to your Hubby!

[honey1616]

Sorry to break in here,,,,But the PCR on hubby....Still Clear!!
Yeahhhhhh!!!!  Just received the news!

[Califia]

Laika, people tend not to talk about these things, but these are powerful psychotropic drugs we're taking (as you've just discovered), and the mental effects tend to get underplayed, if anything.   When my thyroid crashed I had to resort to increasing Zoloft--there!  I confessed!--and if I don't keep calcium and magnesium up, I can feel it, i.e., my anxiety level increases.  (You ever try a gram of magnesium when you're bouncing off the ceiling?   Could help.)   I've had serious writers block for the last several months, a thoroughly shot attention span, dyslexia, you name it.  And am constantly congratulated on well and sane I am.  Hahahahahahaha......

Anything we need to do to get through this is A-okay.  So go ahead: we'll never tell.   And maybe Snook will come on to describe his experience with Lexapro, which he found pretty benign, if I remember correctly.

[Tallblonde]

Hi Califia -- quick question for you on the same basic topic.  Do you know if SAM-e and St. John's Wort can be taken together?  My recent circumstances are making me a bit blue, but I don't want to spend the money on a higher dosage of SAM-e (I currently take 400 mg. daily and it's doing a fine job of keeping my joints nimble).  What's your opinion?  Thanks!

Susan

[cuteus]

missers; read my comment, I did not go for it.

Honey!!!! I want to jump up and down in joy, but I am at work!! I would surely be carted out with a Lexapro IV!  I am so happy, is HE jumping up and down or doing a jig?

[lackalustre]

wow this is one long thread.  seems everyone can relate!!   from the first shot on i felt like i was plugged into a light socket.
   i have been an up/down person too. i tried many AD's prior to treatment and they all made me sick or feel like i was plugged into an electrical socket.  lexapro too.  and it gave me terrible acid reflux.
   i used trazadone during tx.  low dose.  it sedates and ups your seratonin.  some do the best on that especially if you are speedy.
   if you are indeed a manic depressive and i may be  too.    most anti depressants can make it worse.   my dr. said manic depression is much more common than people think. he just attended a big seminar on depression.  some can have different degrees of it or be called rapid cyclers. ( even if you arent doing big spending sprees or having grandiose ideas...)   i know i have to be careful with anti depressants.   the mental side effects were the hardest for me i think during tx..  but i did clear the virus with a lot of determinations.

[honey1616]

Laika,,,Looks like everyone can relate to the mental side and that is the toughest because many times you do feel like you are losing it. I always blamed it on the drugs and you can use that to your advantage at times LOL
Yep,,,funny but that tv tray did have all necessities for the crazy year!  There was a lady that used to come here that completed treatment and offered advice..For you oldies out there (Cindee) She always had me cracking up,,,She had figured out everything to make tx easier and said in the mornings while on tx,,,,She would feel 2 of 2 liter bottles and put in freezer to chill and then during day,,,would have them by the couch so she wouldn't have to get up..LOL   She always had a little cooler filled with goodies and saved her trips to kitchen.  And you know how we forget everything,,,She had remote, reading glasses everything right by her so she was set to go. Before starting tx,,,and reading her stories,,,I was in shock that we may actually turn into a veggie on the sofa and have to drink so much water.  I could always relate to her posts after starting tx....If I lost something,,,I would get so overworked just looking for simplest things...You know how it is!  Well anyways,,,you just joined the secret club for awhile and can relate so enjoy and laugh at yourself,,,Makes time go faster!

Scruffy,,,,lol How funny!  Great Idea,,,I told him tonite dinner was on him since he was feeling great!!

Thanks Susan for the good wishes!

Twotells,,,you are right,,,I think if you can make it to 3 month ok,,,then 6 month shouldn't be as bad!  Good Luck on the 6 but sounds like you already are clear!!

[stc1993]

I was kind of like you described. doctor gave me zanax calmed me down & helps you sleep.

Honey,

Congratulations to you & your husband. We need all the good news we can get.

Monte

[Laika]

I thank everyone for their comments so far.  Perhaps I am using the word "mania" a little loosely.  I have known a bi polar person before, and they seemed to have no control at all if they didn't stay on their meds; they might wake up with a hangover next to a stranger in some hotel somewhere.  Believe me, that's not going to happen.  I guess everyone on treatment struggles with assorted instability, and this is just my particular flavor.

I'm with new sojourn on this one: hating shrinks.  I spent a couple of years a long time ago being someone's prozac experiment and didn't care for it much. Indeed, since beginning treatment, I have been embracing my inner speed freak, enjoying the contrast from the former fatigue.  New Soj:  did you not crash from the speediness?...end up with fatigue & depression or both?  I guess what you're saying is yes, but just speed when you're speeding, crash when you're crashing and don't worry about it.  I'll work on that idea.  I'm a worrier and it gets me into trouble.

I will not quit treatment, that much I know...it's not even a remote consideration.  I'm just feeling my way toward the best way to handle this.  If the Lexapro would level out the extreme highs & lows, I'd move in that direction.  But if it's just going to give me some new issues to deal with, then I guess I'll keep zooming & crashing.

pepman, I loved your advice about reading.  I haven't done it much lately and miss it.  The speediness interferes with reading, but maybe just need some different reading material and don't try to read when I'm speedy, just when I'm slow.

Thank you all for responding & helping with perspective.

Laika

[Califia]

HONEY,  wonderful wonderful wonderful wonderful!  

LAIKA,  we _are_ playing it rather close to the vest right now, no lurid descriptions of  weird emotional states and physical disintegration....I know, just no fun.  Worry not, it gets as bad as all that and then a few weeks later you're on the other side of it--ah yes, THAT's how I look, I remember now....

Embrace your inner speed freak, sez New Sojourn.   Great advice, because I think you'll find the high is rather short-lived.   The overall drug effect reminds me of a gray winter's day I spent in the Everglades:  flat gray water, flat gray sky, with an occasional burst of pink flamingo wings shattering the monotony.   And of course the relentless buzz of mosquitoes in the background--NNNNnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn.

Brian's great "rest and think" story reminds me of an old walrus-like Russian who was holding court at the shallow end of a swimming pool.  This guy had been reprimanded many times before for slowing the progress of the lap swimmers.   So as I made my approach, this enormous man made a courtly bow indicating his willingness to remove his huge bulk from my path, and inquired sweetly, "You svwim? You rest?"  

This is a time for more resting than svwimming,  I think.  Da?   But first you get to bounce around for a while.

[cuteus]

I was quite energetic for about 5 wks in early tx, but not to the point of mania, i agree with getting a mental health proffessional dx and select the proper med for you, not your GI.  For me it was depression, if that is what you call it, none of the questions in my mini electronic mental Health test at the GI office really addressed it. It was 3 wks of emotional void; did not feel sad, glad, angry, nada. It was scary and on that 3rd wk I was contemplating going for help.  I waitted a little longer and it finally lifted, and I learned to be awared and manage the smaller episodes, but you need a professional, not us to advice you, we can only tell you what worked for us.

[honey1616]

Chev,,,Thanks!!  And yes,,,,Oh Happy Days!!  

Cuteus,,,Yes,,,he is so happy! He has called our daughters and told them that this is definitely good news but still have 2 more tests to conquer...6 and year.  They were literally screaming! ha  Its relief at this very moment and we just never know what kind of a toll this takes on our other family members. Our girls have been worried sick since last year and if anything,,,,I want for them to be able to have a break or peace of mind...
I wanted to ask you,,,,what does that up chances of making it to the 3 month?  Isn't it 80 or 85%?  

Thanks again to you all as seeing the highs and lows that we are all going through and still hanging in here and helping so many!!  I really don't know what I would have done with out all of you!

[missers]

My husband begins second round of tx in a few weeks and he's been trying to decide if he wants to take the Lexapro this time around.  He handled tx pretty well on the first try but said the thoughts that buzzed around in his head were worse than the side effects from the tx drugs.  He did take Lexapro throughout and now he wonders if he can go through tx without it.  He's putting the blame on the Lexapro for his "crazies".  I told him he could always try to go without and if he feels he's "losing it" he can ask the doc for Zoloft again.  

Anyone other than Scruffy go without?