Does anyone know where these veins are coming from?

[fresnoborn]

hi everyone, its me again. i am 9 weeks post tx and starting to feel a little bit better but slowly. i have finally admitted to myself that i was wrong in believing that i would feel wonderful once i was done with tx. i am being patient with the whole thing. i tried to wean myself of my ssri once i was done with tx, BIG MISTAKE!! doc now has me on another anti because of chemical changes in my body due to tx and hysterectomy the old anti was no longer working for me. so whoppeeee, it's elavil for me and fatcity here i come...lolol
now i just got out of the shower and was looking at my slender body (thanks to 48 weeks of tx) when i noticed that i have these little skinny veins all over me. some red, some blue, some purple but they are everywhere. i am stage 2 grad 2 so i don't understand what they could be. also when i touch my skin i leave behind impressions of my fingertips for just a second. WHAT IN THE WORLD!! i never had this before!
now before you say it, i know there are no doctors in here and i respect that but i am just wondering if other heppers (i said heppers not heffers) have the same thing or am i losing my mind? oh wait a minute, i already lost my mind.

[PasoPerson]

Thanks, Kathy.  Loved the Mark Twain idea, too funny.  Somehow crying always ends up being the best thing I can do "at that moment".  Wish I would realize that earlier in the fracas!  Anyway, today's a much better day, thinking clearly and have energy aplenty today.  Thank you God.

I re-read my post above and where I said something about hoping I have a chance again ... should have said WAIT UNTIL I HAVE A REMATCH WITH THAT **** DRAGON!

I am going to talk to my neurologist and see if maybe (1) increasing my dose of Neurontin -or- (2) changing to the Lamictal another person here told me about, that would increase my chances of clearing using Infergen.  Or maybe to use Infergen for 4-6 weeks to get my VL way down, then switching to Interferon for the rest of the 48 weeks.  Ever heard anything like that?  

Bless your heart - have a wonderful day

Carolyn

[NYgirl]

I think they are spider nevi or something like that...the doctor was checking me over the other day looking for them.  I don't know a darn thing about them at all...and I wouldn't have if I didn't hear of it just the other day!

I hope that helps in some way kiddo!

[stangshelly]

thet probably are spider veins and i have them also, you can have them what they call stripped..or they can inject sometype of saline solution into them to make them disappear..personally i just through some color on them or ignore them if they aren't to noticable..just some info..:)

[friole]

fresnoborn -- me too on the veins.  I don't ever remember seeing all these small thin veins on my thighs and hips.  I think my skin thinned during tx.  It became really prevelant during the last month or two of tx.  I will have to research this

pasoperson --- Carolyn -- how are you?  How is tx doing.  Can't remember now, you were increasing dose or switching to infergen after your 12 week.  Where are you now?  I will search thru posts, but there are so many, unless you started one, I will proably not find it.  I am glad to see ou posting.  How is your son?
kathy

[PasoPerson]

Hi Kathy!  Things have not gone well with me, which is why I have been off of this wonderful site for so long.

And thank you for remembering my son, Tim.  He's 16 now, and has only gotten harder to handle, I'm sad to say.  In the past couple of months I've found out that, in addition to smoking cigarettes, he also sells & smokes pot/weed/MaryJane.  He said he also enjoys beer!  I have spent countless days & nights crying myself into a sort of resigned place, where I just wait to "get that call" he's been arrested.  I know many parents can relate to this.

I spent about 6 months trying to find a suitable place to get him help.  It would be much easier if I was not a middle-income sort of gal.  Not to go on and on, but finally, with a friend's help, we arranged for him to go to the Florida Sheriffs' Youth Ranch.  Not important "why there", but it will be the perfect place for him.  And my husband and I can afford the monthly (reduced) tuition.  The youth social worker from the FSYR came out 4 weeks ago; Tim told her to get lost.  One day later, he changed his mind so we rescheduled.  That visit is the day we found out that he smokes pot and drinks.  

All paperwork is done to get him into this Ranch to begin the 15-month program ... except a negative drug screen.  I've done 2 home tests and he does not test negative yet.  He will soon, I pray.  He hasn't smoked in 2.5 weeks, "except once".  He has made our home into a living H***, my daughter into one introverted 12-year-old, and has torn my husband and me asunder.  Because we are strong in our faith, we have been as resilient as can be expected, though.  The day he tests negative on a home test is the day I'm taking him to the lab.  He just really has to go, for my health's sake and for the sake of our family unit.  I know if he stays with this program that he will come home a much different person, an adult, a responsible person, a caring person, and a person who can finally love someone besides himself.  It's voluntary, so he can leave when he wants.

If he leaves, his choices are but two:  (1) Come home, but you are no longer going to leave our property.  Your friends can now come HERE, but you aren't going there.  (Oh, his 3 best friends are all 16, all have records, two are expelled from school, etc.)  (2) Get emancipated (he brought that up himself).  Don told him, "Have fun, you will then be an adult.  We will no longer feed, clothe or shelter you; you will have no phone, no tv, no computer, no money from mom & dad; you have no job, no life experiences.  I feel sorry for you, but this is your choice."

My treatment was just not to be for me, in addition to the fun & games of living this life for the past eight years, only to have it come to a head now.  (Yes, we have done EVERYTHING we could in the past years to try to help him, but he doesn't WANT help).

I was on the Interferon + Ribavirin for 6 months, VL went from 1.6 million to 66,000.  So I was placed in Infergen + Ribavirin.  In 4 weeks I went from 66,000 to 2400; I was crying with elation that the correct combination for "me" was found.  I should have known better ... in week 5 I had 3 seizures in one day.  The Infergen allowed my seizure disorder to break through its medication (Neurontin).  Although I begged my doctor to just let me increase my seizure meds and "tie me to a hospital bed" to get SVR, that was not allowed, lol.  So for now nothing can be done for me.  

I am trying to take supplements I know help your liver, are antioxidants, or the like.  Until a couple of weeks ago I eat very healthy, lots of fruits, veggies, very little meat.  But, I spend a lot of time very sad over this family in general and the fact I feel guilty for not being a good enough mom.  I can't concentrate enough to continue my home biz, so that's gone by the wayside and my income along with it.  And because we will be paying tuition for the coming 15 months or so, my planned one-person trip to Mt. Rushmore (with 2 horses and my trail dog) is not to be THIS spring.  (I go on Social Security this December, and was going to save up $5000 or so and take a hike, so to say.)

But the good news is that I can ride my beloved horses again.  I am feeling stronger than when on the meds.  Plus I have a bit more energy and my hair is slowly growing back again - NOT thicker than before as hoped, though.  My alligator skin is smooth once again.  I must say, though, that my patience is non-existent (because of the Tim stuff) and I was not this depressed on meds.

Boy, didn't I just catch you up.  Sorry if this sounds pithy, just never been like this before.  I trust God, but I feel like my life is just not to be pleasant, ever.  I never griped at all about the "consequences" of my "prior to God" lifestyle - seizure disorder, 1/3 of gums removed, and inability to bear children (ours are adopted).  But the Hep C?  I haven't done drugs or alcohol since September 27, 1979.  

Thank you for listening, Friole.  I am glad to have said all this now.  Maybe it will help me get back on the right track.  

God bless -
Carolyn

[friole]

You are a real fighter and you really gave this treatment your best. New drugs are coming - ha ha -- let the government take care on good old medicare.  (congrats on your upcoming social security check)

You have done what you can for your son, now it is his turn.  sometimes you do have to let them go....

I am reminded of something Mark Twain said -- to the effect -- I think all children should be kept in a barrel with a hole in it.  and when they reach puberty, the hole should be plugged.

Kidding aside, somehow they all do grow up.
kathy

[PasoPerson]

Thanks for your remarks.  I appreciate knowing there may be a light at the end of this tunnel.  I was an alcoholic & drug addict, but only from about 27 years of age until I was 35.  So how kids come out the other end okay is good to hear!

God bless,
Carolyn

[friole]

Carolyn, you have no idea how familiar this all is to me.  I too am an adoptive parent of 3 siblings (they were 2,3, and 5 when we adopted). When the youngest was 15 he was running away so many times - you wouldn't believe how many case numbers we had. At about 16 he ran away to another city with a real sleaze ball.  When we finally located him we had the sherrif pick him up and drove the 40 mi to get him and drove him straight to a rehab center - boy was he surprised - where he stayed for 9 months.  I thought he had turned a corner.  When he returned we all went on vacation and two days later school started - he was only 1 credit short of being a senior. On the second day of school he never returned.  Thus started 7 years of his "emancipation" - a near death summons.  Occasionally we would let him move back - when he was on death's door.  Usually we would only hear from him from jail.

Now he is 25, married, has been working at the same place for almost a year and loves it, is going to have a baby (maybe next week) and It is awesome. He does not use drugs and rarely drinks. He is paying off the court for his "hot check" spree and is paying back and current child support for a child (I have never seen, but the mom was a 10th grader and the child is probably 5 now). I had totally given up hope and somehow, he turned around. Believe me, Carolyn, I know those feelings of not being a good parent.  No matter how many people tell you it is not you, there is always lingering doubt. However, I know you have done all you can.

In Texas they have a Post Adoption program for state adopted children (which mine were).  After my insurance company maxed out (on mental disease) they paid for all the rehab and a lot more.  If you adopted a state child, there may be a similar program where you are.  You might check with the state organizations to see if there is some help with this school.  

I am very sorry to hear that the infergen did not work out. I cannot believe you got that low VL and had to stop but you were endangering yourself. I am absolutely sure that you improved your liver histology (is that the word?) with the treatments.  I am most especially sad that you will not be able to make your trip a planned but am happy that you can ride your horse.  I know nothing of horses, but you are a kindred spirit. If you are interested, you can reach me at my screen name ataoldotcom
kathy

[PasoPerson]

Hi Kathy - Phew, we sure are kindred spirits.  Ours were both just days old when we adopted, and no relation to each other.  They are 4 years apart.  I'm glad you weren't undergoing treatment while this was going on with your son.  And that you were younger, lol.  Sometimes I think I'm going to go nuts if he even speaks to me one more time (he usually is yelling).

Now that I've given 8 months of my life over to something that left me in "worse" shape than before, I'm fighting sadness big time now.  I was so dedicated to beat The Dragon.  I hope I have a chance someday before it's too late.

I don't know what I would do if it weren't for God.

[mremeet]

Sorry to hear of your teen troubles. A long time ago I was a troubled 16 year old son who smoked pot and drank beer. I eventually graduated highschool, lived a normal life and grew out of it (more or less). I had a bunch of friends who were the same way, including a dealer friend or two (one of them owns a very profitable auto repair business now btw!). Not trying to make light of your situation, I know it must be awful. Just thought you might like a little perpsective from a former stoned 16 year old son.

[PasoPerson]

LOL, loved the way you put your post.  You're not alone.  I have the same thing, like varicose veins, all over.  I am a "senior citizen" physically*, so not surprising that some things changed, but this did surprise (and worry) me.

*Emotionally I'm about 12 - smiles abound, 'cause I'm just glad to be alive; I tend to giggle at silly things which worries my 12-year-old greatly, lol.  

Not going to let my mind wander again ... just wanted you to know you are NOT alone.  The veins are here among us .... hehehe.

-Carolyn