hahaha good one, but I am a redhead, not so sure it would be funny if I were blonde *yeah it would lol*
hahaha...that's a good one...here's a few of my favorite one liners...
Right now I'm having amnesia and deja vu at the same time. I think I've forgotten this before.
My school colors were clear. We used to say, "I'm not naked, I'm in the band."
My friend has a baby. I'm recording all the noises he makes so later I can ask him what he meant.
Borrow money from pessimists - they don't expect it back
Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.
Everyone has a photographic memory, some just don't have film.
Deb in Az
v-edgy - Not to worry, I'm mostly blonde and I still liked it. I think that blonde was pretty quick on her feet, maybe. Dumb like a fox. LOL
azgal - great one-liners. thanks!
C'mon and join in ... a tribute to eyedeas. Let's try to smile tonight ... makes it hurt less!
Sorry, I used an ampersand (&) between v-edge and your name, so it dropped you. My post was for you, too.
you could go into archives from prior years and unearth some of the friday fight songs and re post them. Derail used to have friday funnies also, so maybe we can combine them in a thread for those still tx and needing a lift. They are in "browse archives" and listed by year in the hep c link, but I found some in the misc link and even in the other hep links.
have a good weekend!
"What does a fish spend on a business trip? His Carpe Diem. (Clearly this isn't my strong suit)"
speaking of bad puns...
If a wolf can take down a deer from either flank, does that make him bambidextrous?
Deb in Az
What do you call a pre-manufactured home for pigs?
(some things deserve anonymity)
These are suppose to be true stories told by doctors:
A man comes into the ER and yells, "My wife's going to have her baby in the cab!" I grabbed my stuff, rushed out to the cab, lifted the lady's dress, and began to take off her underwear. Suddenly I noticed that there were several cabs - and I was in the wrong one.
Dr. Mark MacDonald, San Antonio, TX
At the beginning of my shift I placed a stethoscope on an elderly and slightly deaf female patient's anterior chest wall. "Big breaths," I instructed. "Yes, they used to be," remorsed the patient.
Dr. Richard Byrnes, Seattle , WA!
One day I had to be the bearer of bad news when I told a wife that her husband had died of a massive myocardial infarction. Not more than five minutes later, I heard her reporting to the rest of the family that he had died of a "massive internal fart."
Dr. Susan Steinberg, Manitoba, Canada
While acquainting myself with a new elderly patient, I asked, "How long have you been bedridden?" After a look of complete confusion she answered..."Why, not for about twenty years - when my husband was alive."
>> Dr. Steven Swanson, Corvallis , OR
I was caring for a woman from Kentucky and asked, "So how's your breakfast this morning?" "It's very good! , except for the Kentucky Jelly. I can't seem to get used to the taste" the patient replied. I then asked to see the jelly and the woman produced a foil packet labeled "KY Jelly."
>> Dr. Leonard Kransdorf, Detroit , MI
A new, young MD doing his residency in OB was quite embarrassed performing female pelvic exams. To cover his embarrassment he had unconsciously formed a habit of whistling softly. The middle-aged lady upon whom he was performing this exam suddenly burst out laughing and further embarrassed him. He looked up from his work and sheepishly said, "I'm sorry. Was I tickling you?" She replied, "No doctor, but the song you were whistling was, "I wish I was an Oscar Meyer Wiener".
>> (Dr. wouldn't give his name)
"If a wolf can take down a deer from either flank, does that make him bambidextrous?"
Well, a gal who can appreciate a plunking dingleberry can't be all bad, can she? BTW, re that distinctive plunking sound, you've got to fish to know it. Sort of an inside out splash that collapses in on itself. References to similarities with a "black hole" uncalled for in this context ;-) Thanks for the jokes.
A redi-pen. Too clever!
I usually feel pretty good on Thursdays and Fridays. Those made today even better!
just as long as the plunking splash doesn't reach the bottom of the "black hole"....
deb in az