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90502 tn?1196367605

Friday Night Ditty - AND OTHER POSTS

I cannot come up with any Friday Night Fight Songs to save me.  And I miss eyedeas' songs a lot (even though I give my shots on Thursday night.)  However, I thought this would give those of you who need a work break something to mull over this weekend.  Sounds like a plan to me!  Hope it's okay to have posted this ...

- - - - - - -

I urgently needed a few days off work, but I knew my boss wouldn't allow me to take any time off.  I thought that, perhaps if I acted crazy, he would tell me to take a few days off.  So I hung upside down on the ceiling and made funny noises.
My co-worker (who's blonde) asked me what I was doing, and I told her.

A few minutes later the boss came into the office and asked "What are you doing?"

I told him I was a light bulb.  

He said "You are clearly stressed out.  Go home and recuperate for a couple of days."

I jumped down and walked out of the office.  

When my blonde co-worker followed me out the door, the boss asked, "And where do you think you're going?"

She said, "I'm going home too, I can't work in the dark!"
41 Responses
Avatar universal
hahaha  good one, but I am a redhead, not so sure it would be funny if I were blonde *yeah it would  lol*

Avatar universal
hahaha...that's a good one...here's a few of my favorite one liners...

Right now I'm having amnesia and deja vu at the same time.  I think I've forgotten this before.

My school colors were clear. We used to say, "I'm not naked, I'm in the band."

My friend has a baby. I'm recording all the noises he makes so later I can ask him what he meant.

Borrow money from pessimists - they don't expect it back

Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.

Everyone has a photographic memory, some just don't have film.

Deb in Az
90502 tn?1196367605
v-edgy - Not to worry, I'm mostly blonde and I still liked it.  I think that blonde was pretty quick on her feet, maybe.  Dumb like a fox.  LOL

azgal - great one-liners.  thanks!

C'mon and join in ... a tribute to eyedeas.  Let's try to smile tonight ... makes it hurt less!
90502 tn?1196367605
Sorry, I used an ampersand (&) between v-edge and your name, so it dropped you.  My post was for you, too.
Avatar universal
you could go into archives from prior years and unearth some of the friday fight songs and re post them. Derail used to have friday funnies also, so maybe we can combine them in a thread for those still tx and needing a lift. They are in "browse archives" and listed by year in the hep c link, but I found some in the misc link and even in the other hep links.
have a good weekend!
Avatar universal
"What does a fish spend on a business trip? His Carpe Diem. (Clearly this isn't my strong suit)"


speaking of bad puns...

If a wolf can take down a deer from either flank, does that make him bambidextrous?

Deb in Az
96938 tn?1189803458

What do you call a pre-manufactured home for pigs?

A redi-pen.

(some things deserve anonymity)
Avatar universal
These are suppose to be true stories told by doctors:

A man comes into the ER and yells, "My wife's going to have her baby in the cab!" I grabbed my stuff, rushed out to the cab, lifted the lady's dress, and began to take off her underwear. Suddenly I noticed that there were several cabs - and I was in the wrong one.

Dr. Mark MacDonald, San Antonio, TX

At the beginning of my shift I placed a stethoscope on an elderly and slightly deaf female patient's anterior chest wall. "Big breaths," I instructed. "Yes, they used to be," remorsed the patient.

Dr. Richard Byrnes, Seattle , WA!

One day I had to be the bearer of bad news when I told a wife that her husband had died of a massive myocardial infarction. Not more than five minutes later, I heard her reporting to the rest of the family that he had died of a "massive internal fart."

Dr. Susan Steinberg, Manitoba, Canada

While acquainting myself with a new elderly patient, I asked, "How long have you been bedridden?" After a look of complete confusion she answered..."Why, not for about twenty years - when my husband was alive."

>> Dr. Steven Swanson, Corvallis , OR

I was caring for a woman from Kentucky and asked, "So how's your breakfast this morning?" "It's very good! , except for the Kentucky Jelly. I can't seem to get used to the taste" the patient replied. I then asked to see the jelly and the woman produced a foil packet labeled "KY Jelly."

>> Dr. Leonard Kransdorf, Detroit , MI

A new, young MD doing his residency in OB was quite embarrassed performing female pelvic exams. To cover his embarrassment he had unconsciously formed a habit of whistling softly. The middle-aged lady upon whom he was performing this exam suddenly burst out laughing and further embarrassed him. He looked up from his work and sheepishly said, "I'm sorry. Was I tickling you?" She replied, "No doctor, but the song you were whistling was, "I wish I was an Oscar Meyer Wiener".

>> (Dr. wouldn't give his name)
92903 tn?1309908311
"If a wolf can take down a deer from either flank, does that make him bambidextrous?"

Well, a gal who can appreciate a plunking dingleberry can't be all bad, can she? BTW, re that distinctive plunking sound, you've got to fish to know it. Sort of an inside out splash that collapses in on itself. References to similarities with a "black hole" uncalled for in this context ;-) Thanks for the jokes.  

A redi-pen. Too clever!

92903 tn?1309908311
Thanks bud. LOL.
96938 tn?1189803458
I usually feel pretty good on Thursdays and Fridays.  Those made today even better!
Avatar universal
just as long as the plunking splash doesn't reach the bottom of the "black hole"....

deb in az
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