Hey, if the bum left in the middle of what youre going through then you are better off. You are at the beginning of a new life in more ways than one. I know it's bad timing but you don't need the stress, you have to take care of you. Call some old friends you haven't talked to in a while. You sound like someone who probably distanced yourself from people who love you while going through a rough relationship to keep from burdoning them with your problems, I think it's a good time to get back in touch. We are always here, but nothing beats old friends and family that know you and probably just waiting for you to be ready for them.
I'm so sorry you're feeling down. Can you get some counseling to talk about feelings of loss related to your divorce? Yes--it was your choice, but you've still lost the future you once thought you had with your mate. You are undergoing a profound transition as you embark on the discovery of "who you are" without "him."
Talking about all of this with a professional might be helpful...
Also, imagine that you are your own daughter. What would you do for her? You would nurture her, forgive her, and love her. You would encourage her to get up everyday, go to work, and smile broadly at others. Also, remember that many others are also experiencing great pain and difficulty. Taking note of this fact may help to diminish your own depression. IMO, the experience of pain and depression are valuable if they awaken compassion, for yourself and others.
I do hope you overcome your pain soon, and experience personal growth in the process. You'll get better...look at the name you chose for yourself!
P.S. PUT ON MUSIC!!! ...blood-stirring, soul-rocking, awe-inspiring music. You know what you like.
Well I for one have been where you are right now and I know nothing anybody says really makes it easier. It would be so great to move on and forget it and all THAT but for now your heart is so hurt - that hit in themiddle of your stomach feeling just kills.
You have to cry it out as much as you need to until ... one day...a little bit of time will go by and you will laugh and totally forget about it for a little while. Then it will h appen the next day and the next until believe it or not you'll have whole days where you don't even THINK about it.
Time does heal. It just sucks in the beginning part. But have faith - there are GREAT things around the corner for you. You were free'd up to be with a much better person.
I know the feeling too well and I'm so sorry you are going through it. Unfortunately for me (fortunately?) my x cheated on me with a STRIPPER who was in serious need of losing some weight because in the middle of winter with her HALF TOPS on and her BOOBS hanging out of the top in neg. 30 wind chill she just was ridiculous. Of course at the time it wasn't easy but now when I look BACK oh my GOD I can laugh my aazzzzz off!
Eventually of course he realized he wanted to come home but it was just tooooooo damn late.
And man oh MAN that felt good!
You will make it. I promise you, if I could ANYONE could!
that is just torturing yourself daily. watching him date and going on with his life right before your eyes while you are in pain. That is extremely selfish behavior on his part! Don't allow this to continue much longer, you are already in the debilitating hands of depression, and medication could help, but what you feel is the proper emotion for what is going on. Get him out of house. It is not good for your health. Then, just to lift your spirits a bit, place a profile in match.com or matchmaker and see how many nice men are interested in you and find you attractive, at the time when you don't. Even if you don't date any of them, it can reposition the possible thought that you are not going to find someone ever, and that you are not attractive. Try it. It worked wonders for me, even though I did not meet any of them.
please think of you.
You did way too good of job describing that stripper, don't know if I want to poke my eyes out or fall off my chair laughing. Take Care HAHAHAHA fell out.....