…and yesterday evening I took my last two, seven days after my last shot.
You’re a clever Old Scratch, you know that. You hide out in the background, letting Interferon get all the grief and bad press for making treatment such a pain, but you yourself are the one who brings on the most of it. Yeah, you.
While the INF made me quite tired for a few days after each shot, and I did have that icky metallic taste in my mouth, those were nothing compared to your contribution to the whole affair. I didn’t really even mind the Neupogen shots I took for half of treatment because the INF crashed my neutrophils. No, you’re the undisputed Champ of Sides.
After only a couple of weeks of our association, I could thank you for that nice dry cough that I had for five months, and for being completely dehydrated throughout. My sinuses were clogged with thick snot and a post-nasal smudge that just wouldn’t quit. I still feel a kind of crawly creepiness over all of me that scratching can’t begin to quell.
I lost about half of my hair and about a third of my hematocrit. Delightful. I’ve been out of breath like a wheezing old geezer, after starting treatment as a weight lifter and race walker.
Oh, did I mention the sour stomach and indigestion? Those antacid moments are so precious, and having to forego the spicier cuisine that I (once) enjoyed. Swell. Thanks also for the insomnia that made me irritable and a bear to live with. Grrrr.
How about that rash, there, Beelzebub? After about six or seven weeks my forearms broke out in an itchy plague of Old Testament proportions. I would have preferred a swarm of locusts consuming me, one bite at a time. My doc eventually got me a Rx ointment for it that kept it down, but only after enduring a few weeks of wanting to gouge out my eyes and just quit the whole thing. I still get a hot spot here and there on my arm or back, but I guess I foiled you overall. Nyah. I still can’t go out into sunshine, yet, though. UV makes it pop out again.
So, there you go, Snakeface. It’s been something less than a pleasure, but I suppose I should be grateful. Isn’t that ironic. You let INF take the heat, but without you pushing him from behind, he’s just second rate and an underperformer. Thanks a lump, I guess.
Regards, and please go away,
Thought you’d also like to know, Bastardo, my nurse called me later yesterday evening. My 24th week PCR from Wednesday had just come in to her email from the lab. Like weeks 4 and 12, my sample was undetected. How about that? I’m done. You’re a bad dream.