SO WHAT MOTIVATES YOU TO DO TX???? (...and other post)

[shebee]

There are so many on tx.  


I was wondering what motivates you?



Why are you on tx or going to tx?








I realize that this seems like a silly question, but I would like to know.

(Forgive me for taking up space, but please feel free to post other topics here.  

However, I believe that your answer is important.  
Sometimes, during a crisis situation, it helps others to have a reason to keep going on.  Tx is tough, but not impossible.

There are many lurkers out there, (COME ON YOU GUYS, POST!  lol!) and who knows...your answer might be the very one that will help someone else make it through.

Do something  good for mankind,  

Shebee

[shebee]

By the way, my friend...Your quote was not exactly right.

It should have read as follows:

"Shebee or not to Bee."

LOL!

[shebee]

Keep those glasses on!  You are goin' make it!  

Glad you keep going down the road...Don't stop!  LOL!

My heart and prayers go out to you,
Shebee

[shebee]

Ok...relapse is the very worst that could happen to you.  If this happens, then you get up and try again.  


When we dwell on negatives, they grow and grow and grow.


Your thought life is can be controlled, but it is a battle.
For each and every negative thought, you will have to force yourself to have two positive ones.  Depression is easy to tumble into, but hard to climb back out.

Most of the time you'll find that you will not have any help.
That is just the way it is...

Life is wonderful and you have much to give to others.  Please don't waste days, month, or even years.

Your,
Shebee

[St. Georgie-Girl]

Didn't I hear you say once that you are in Oak Ridge and work in the environmental field?  Coincidentally, I am from a small town very near you although a bit closer to the Smokies, and am now an environmental regulator in a neighboring state.  I will always think of those sweet hills as home.  You are lucky to be up there - I like to say that while God rested on the seventh day he had a dream, and when He awoke, there was East Tennessee (I may be a bit biased, mind you).

How cool is it that your church is St. George - I take that as a good sign!!

Gods power to you, and thank you for your words of encouragement.

Ephesians 6:13-19 (NIV)

[St. Georgie-Girl]

Interesting question . . . silly me!  You see I've been worried that if my biopsy comes back showing little damage (I hope I hope I hope), my doctor will not advise treatment - or at least will advise against it at present - since I am Type 1 and have a relatively low (2.2 million) viral load.  But all I can think of is something I saw on the Janis site - that talks about one particle of virus becomes two, then 2 becomes 4 becomes 8 becomes 16 becomes 32 becomes 64 and on and on, so how long before 2.2 million becomes 4.4 million then 8.8 million, and my poor liver is "pate de fois Georgie" . . . No - I want the medications and I want to fight.

I may be crazy to want to take a medication that may cause for me some of the same problems I've heard described here, but I can't stand the idea of that damn dragon inside me eating away at my entrails and stealing my vitality, health, and future.  Nope - I am going to insist we fight and fight with every available weapon until either I or that damn dragon lies dead in the dust.

To paraphrase the great Winston Chruchill

"We shall defend our bodies and our future, whatever the cost may be.  We shall fight on the beaches, we shall fight on the landing grounds, we shall fight in the fields and in the streets, we shall fight in the hills; we shall never surrender."

And another beauty of Winston's:

"Victory at all costs, victory in spite of all terror, victory however long and hard the road may be; for without victory, there is no survival."

God and St. George defend us - Peace and Strength to All!

[Indiana]

Mister Indys Neighborhood?  Hahahahahaha  Now THAT isn't something I have really thought about. I thought you were gonna say Captain Kangaroo! I DID talk to all the animals(all the little bastards like the Badger, Woodpeckers, my cat, my kids, and all the Riba Ragers here). I could see myself adding a Bunny Rabbit and Mr. Moose in there too. I liked to dress in baggy clothes on tx to stay all warm and cozy. I could have had MAJOR fun with all those pockets he had "stuff" in. "Hey kids...watch me pull a carrot outa my pants"......."Oh Gross dad, Thats NOT a carrot"! Yep....I just may have to investigate this line of work.

But first I have to figure this whole "Husband" thing out. I wonder if my wife knows about this? I bet she's been keepin this a secret. The only thing I can figure out is that this must've happened while I was in my tx "Fog" days. So...I guess I'll have to start plannin a move to Utah...or wherever the Mormons live. This whole thing should be accepted there. Ya know....I bet that BADGER had something to do with this! Dam his Hide!

[GALLIUM]

geno type 4, found out last november stage 3 with cirosis.
will start 48 week treatment week of feb. 16.
why am i doing treatment?
BEACUSE I AM WORTH IT! ! ! !
I'M NOT DOING IT BECAUSE I LOVE MY WIFE, CHILDREN, GRANCHILD,
FRIENDS OR WHAT EVER. THE MAIN REASON IS VERY SIMPLE, I'M NOT
READY TO DIE(liver failure death is a very bad way to die, i have seen many people over the years die that way and its a slow nasty way to go) I WANT TO LIVE AND HAVE QUALITY IN MY LIFE.
I AM WORTH IT.
I AM WORTH THE SIDES.
I AM WORTH THE COST .
I AM WORTH THE PROBLEMS IT WILL CAUSE IN MY LIFE AND THE LIVES OF THOSE AROUND ME.
I AM WORTH IT.
I AM DOING IT FOR SELFISH REASONS IF YOU WANT TO SAY, BUT I DONT MIND BECAUSE.
I AM WORTH IT.
how many of you rember "I AM SOMEBODY"
well we heppers need to rember " I AM WORTH IT"
we are worth the pain, sides, cost, and problems we will experience with treatment.
as a health care professional i have alway looked down on hep-c pt's, shame on me! ! ! ! i always figured they brought the disease on them selves. i did give them the best care i could and never let my feelings effect how i treated them, but in
the back of my mind the thought always remained they brought it on them selves ( funny thing is i didnt feel this way about the aids pt's i have taken care of) well the gods have a way of waking us up sometimes, and they sure gave me one.
i do have a new attitude about the heppers i see in the er now.
they are my extended family now, and it doesnt matter how they got the dragon, just that they have the dragon.
they to ARE WORTH IT.
I AM WORTH IT.
YOU ARE WORTH IT.
WE ARE WORTH IT.
GET TREATED BEAT THE DRAGON, HAVE A NEW AND WONDERFUL LIFE.

[MKAndrew]

Addiction:  I'm an interferon junkie.

Moving my Pegasys shots closer together gave me a huge freakin drop in VL. I was going by the way I felt. I started feeling my worst a day or two before my shot day. My best day was the day after my shot. I kept moving my shots closer together in 12-hour increments until I felt pretty much the same all the time. I figured that meant I was at a more constant dose. So now, I gotta make sure I say that nobody should ever do this without a doctor's supervision. I started off with a slow response so I figured, what the hell. Why not give it a try? It ain't working like it's supposed to, so maybe I should listen to what my body is telling me about dosage. Of course, I've similarly experimented with illegal drugs in the past, so this was no big deal. I became an interferon junkie. I felt better during Pegasys treatment than I've ever felt in my life, but a lot of that may have been Zadaxin. I got this great rush from shooting Pegasys. It wasn't like Intron-A at all.
By the time I got to 227 mcg, twice a week, I was nearly blind. I once shot 240 mcg. The reason - 240 mcg was the highest dose ever used in a clinical trial, so humans had done it. When I shot the 240 mikes, I knew immediately why 240 mcg group had the lowest success rate. Within fifteen minutes, I could taste the stuff. Then, I started rushing, like the beginning of an allergic reaction. Then, my brains leaked out of my ears. I don't know how - but I swear I laughed through the whole thing - I knew I'd be okay in a few days. I kept laughing and saying, "Wow, that was really stupid." My wife wouldn't let me drive for a few days because I couldn't see a damn thing.

The day after that big shot, I suffered a retinal hemhorrage. I didn't tell my doctor. I figured it would go away. So whenever I tell about my retinal hemhorrage, I always show it to everyone - I had my wife take a picture. So here's the link to the picture of my retinal hemhorrage.

http://www.mkandrew.com/eyes/image1.jpg

See what self-medicating can do to you? It didn't hurt - it just looks painful. So I guess my motivation for treatment is the opportunity to indulge in drug abuse for a good cause.

Hope all of you are doing well.

Miles

[Revenire]

Yeah, your story has touched my life too. You and your husband are really sweet people.

[Sujo]

Well, I did it.  I did my  1st shot tonight at 6:45  So far so good.  I have been warning my family about the "riba rage"  and to please bare with me....it was kindof funny...my 9 yr old was being very annoying and I reminded him that the medicine I'm taking will make me very angry at times and to try  to be nice....he said..."oh, did you take your mean pill"...well, I guess you had to be there!  
I also just wanted to thank you all for being there.  I have learned so much about this disease and treatment from you.  It's very reassuring to know that I can come here for support.
Thank you very much.
Sue

[Ambush]

Sue, congratulations on getting that first one out of the way! Cute analogy from your 9 year old :)  Remember, not everyone has to deal with the rage.  I maybe just feel a little short wicked sometimes, but doesn't even get close to rage.  I wish you the best with your tx......don't forget lots of water.....and as many positive thoughts you can muster.
ambush :)

[harley dude]

After reading your beautiful touching post something clicked in my head, you can call it a brain storm (I think I've had about 2 of them in my life)O.K. here goes you seem to be a very gentle warm caring and understanding human being, now if you remember the world just lost someone that fits the exact features of you, If you can't think of this person, he had his own television program, he is now looking down waiting for someone to fill his shoes- Right you are, the one and only Mr. Rogers, I can see you now walking in with your hard shoes on, putting on your red cardigan sweater and taking your hard shoes off and putting on your little white slip on tennies, I can see your name in lights now "Mr. Indiana's Neighborhood", now remember if you make it to the big times don't forget about Harley Dude, it was my idea,. You would be the perfect one to fill his tennies, you are a "Great Story Teller, the kids would love you (you might want to leave out the stories about the gay badgers, that might be a little bit much for the kiddies, good luck to you with this "Great Idea"- you should try and get in touch with PBS soon, who knows who else may be thinking of this same idea. Good Luck with this Mr. Indiana - see ya hopefully soon on the tube-- HD

[DownThisRoad]

What motivated me to do treatment?

I decided to treatment my illness and get on treatment and start the medication and finish the medication because I was afraid of getting worse.  I was scared that without giving the present treatment a try that my condition would NOT get better and then someday I would be faced with the alternative to the hepC meds, transplant or worse yet, early death due to liver failure.

I am 45 female, 2 wonderful beautiful grandchildren with one son and one daughter-in-law.  Wonderful husband who I enjoy life with and just couldn't gamble with my condition and condition of my liver.

I am on week 38 of treatment heading towards week 48 with a possible 6 - 8 week extension.

Being on treatment and having the whole year of 2003 be somewhat a blur, well, YES, I am glad that I started treatment.  YES, I am.  I'm glad that it is almost coming to an end and YES I am thrilled that the medicine worked for me and I am clear (undectable) of the virus.  That is the bonus to working so very hard to stay on treatment.  Undetectable................, makes it all worth it. And if this virus should come back on me after my treatment is over, well I gave it the best effort possible.  I will know in my heart and soul that I finished my recommended treatment, beat it down to undetectable and DID save my tissue from further, agressive damage.

And remember, you told me to put on my glasses on and keep my glasses on (around my week 12 or treatment) well my dear, thank you again.  I've had my glasses on every day now and I can see  OH SO clearly now.

I wish you and hubby all the best.................always SheBEE.

~dtr.

[honey1616]

Way to go...You are looking at the finish line and doesn't it look sweet!!  haha Will be thinking of you and let us know about your next appt!

[Steve']

What motivates me is this ~~> For years I listened to street gossip about Hep-C until one day I had a chance meeting with a stranger in a shopping cue one day ... How strange was it that this guy ended up talking to me about Hep-C, he didn't know me from Adam, anyway he single handedly turned my thoughts around ... I always thought once you had Hep-C that was that, but this guy "Marty" his name had finished 48 weeks Interferon Riba Tx he was a 1a & now is <b>"Cured"</b> I was so stunned by his revelation to me, a perfect stranger that I booked in to see my Liver specialist & pleaded to him "When can I start this thing called Interferon + Ribavirin" ..... Here we are I'm on week 25 of 27 (I got a few extra shots instead of 24 I do 27 I'm a 3a) ... only 2 to go fellow heppers... I'm feeling very nervous & anxious because I've just returned from the hospital where I had my 1st ever PCR Quantitive blood test ... I'm pretty nervous because most people get a bit of a hint on how there Tx is going by having a 12 week PCR test but I didn't have that one.  I've only had the normal Liver Function Test etc. each fortnight or monthly..... at least my ALT has gone from 76 at start of Tx to 33 at last blood work 4 weeks ago...it is now normal range yippee ... Now I wait for the results of the "Biggy" :-) Fingers are all well & truly crossed ... next week I see the big doctor & his assistant etc ..... Keep focused on the "Goal" <b>...Steve...</b>

[shebee]

Oh, blueskies...daily infergen into your eyeballs?????  I am still laughing!!!!  How about under your fingernails, too????
YIKES!  I almost pass out when the nurse draws blood!



Ah...it sounds like others motivate us all in some way.



All of us touch so many others, don't we?  When I read your post, I realized that we all seem to put others before ourselves.  We all have so much to contribute to the world.  I have learned to have great patience and compassion.  I have learned that it could happen to anyone.  Hubby just went in for a routine check-up.  (What a blessing, eh?)

When hubby is clear, I plan on working for at least another 6 months.  We have never had "your money" or "my money", but once he is back to work, things will change.  I will be saving all of "my money."  You see, hubby has dreams also, and I plan to make them come true.  Someday, he will find himself sitting on a beautiful beach with the ocean spread out before him.  He can sit there as long as he likes...hours, days, or months.  (ok...not years!)  This will give his mind time to heal.

I hope each of you will do something really special for yourself once TX is over.  Perhaps you will plan on meeting us on a beach?
(Of course, you do realize that I will not be there much of the time, don't you?  I will be doing everything that is available & more!!!!  LOL!)


My heart goes out to each and every one of you...
I don't think that I would handle TX very well at all.
I feel that all of you have made significant changes in my own life.  I am a better person because I have met you.  (You see, you have touched my life, too.)

Your,
Shebee

[ellissg]

Indiana, you are great. What a profound and humoreous post. For myself, it wasn't very complicated. Test should 2b, 5.7 VL. My doctor said that treatment was in order due to the VL especially, and since he has the training and experience, dumb old me just did what he told me. WHAT A CONCEPT!!

[Tony-z]

I have been off of TX for almost 2 years and getting my sanity back was a very slow process. The first 4-6 months after my last shot was a very slow return to the sort of mental outlook that I had had before starting TX. My sleep pattern has still not fully returned, I have almost recovered in that area. Interferion is a very potiant drug with all sorts of sides. In my case it enhanced some old problems I had and caused some new ones. It can take some time, but you will recover.

            keep the faith,  God Bless.

                               Tony Z

[relentless]

Fight or Flight.....very simple.....FIGHT  Put on the cup and chest protector and kick some viral intruder butt.  If you can't get up for this fight....what can you get up for?????  One life my friends.....limited edition.....will possibly come to a nasty end sooner rather than later without a successful fight....and the fight can't be successful with starting the fight.  Without the fight you are just a victim.....everyone has a choice....get pissed and fight the fight....you will be a better person for the effort regardless of the outcome.  The sides are the black eye and broken nose of the fight.  Thats what happens in a fight.  Be France and be occupied or be the USA and kick some butt.  Anyway....thanks for asking.

[cindyazure]

I found out last year as a routine blood test.  Never felt sick but always lived a risky lifestyle and old buddies have been after me for years to get tested.  When I found out I felt contaminated, diseased & contagious.  I was in tx before it even really sunk in & now at 33 shots I'm seeing the light at the end , now worried about the result.  I'll tx forever if that's what it takes.  I'll never let it just take me.

[lackalustre]

ditto for all of the above. i treated because i want to  enjoy my family. hold a grandchild etc,. and because my family needs me around.  and my QOL has been poor for the past several years  i felt i didnt' have too much to lose by doing it.  i was especially scared of the psychological side effects.  and i have had to deal with them.
   dheana have you had your thyroid tested?  can you sleep at night?  sometimes the zanax can actually cause depression.( do you use it daily?? )it did for me if i used it very much so i tried to rotate it.  sometimes i used/still do use phenergan(for nausea)  for sleep, or ambien.  the lowest doses possible to do the job.  also small amounts of the anti depressant.  you may need a different anti depressant.  some of the older ones can be better as far as stopping them when your ready.  trazadone works for me at a low dose.  many anti depressants make me weird.  someone here mentioned bi polar.  in some cases treatment can trigger bi polar.  what does your psychiatrist say??    about the chills and flushes are you still drinking a ton of water???  im finding i still need to post tx.  im still getting the cold/hot flushes in my head.
   what about stress? are you expecting too much of yourself??  you need time to heal.  working may have to be put on hold for a while.  theres sure no way i could have held down a job on treatment.  we have a home business so i am fortunate and could rest when i needed.

[AK - Hepper]

I don't think Indiana is gonna appreciate you asking him to stick around after his husband is cured, maybe you were addressing Shebee too or did I miss something around here??? :-}

I decided to try tx cause things have been going downhill the last few years. Doc said I could wait cause my bx was relatively ok 3 years ago, but I got to where I couldn't work more than 60 hours a week anymore and that was causing friction, feast or famine up here for welders. Plus I wanted to see if I could get some relief from this RUQ pain I've had for the last 7 years, had to turn myself into a vegetarian because of it and I just can't get used to not being able to eat meat anymore. I sure would like to be able to go out and have a beer again too, but I guess that'll have to wait a while. Sure don't miss all the dumb stuff I used to do when I was drinking, though. I guess I just wanted to take a shot at getting some semblance of a normal life back again, being sick just plain sucks!

[jonihs]

Once agin, I wish I had your gift of words,. You are absolutely marvelous and please stick around as much as possible after your husband is cured,  Thank You and much love,   Joni

[CARUU]

God, I wish I could express myself with even 1/2 the passion you do!  I can relate to your reasons for doing tx...from beginning to end. Thanks, caruu