Sick of being sick

[aiuta]

Week 22 and needing to vent.  I am sick of tx.  So sick of being sick.  So sick of headaches, hacking, RibaRage, forgetting why I walk into rooms or what I am about to say.  Sick of body aches, depression, diahhrea, joint pain, itching, being in bed so much, fear of being with people because of what I might say (I've come up with some real winners and I've gotton to make some extra-special apologies while on tx).  I'm sick of pills and shots and dr's visits and trying to hide my illness with people because of their total ignorance and prejudice about Hep C.  I'm sick of nosy people at work.  I'm sick of anyone, who hasn't been through this treatment, telling me they understand.  I'm sick of feeling so sluggish and fatigued.  I'm sick of being unable to contribute to life at full capacity.  I'm sick of all the unknowns of this illness, that for all we put up with on tx, there are no guarantees.  I'm sick of being so angry.  I'm sick of trying to conceal that when I'm around others.  I'm sick of many things, but I'm grateful for you guys, because you understand and you've helped me make it this far.  I WILL stay the course because I know I'm not alone.  I know many of you have go through more pain and suffering than me.  Those of you who do this for a year (or 72 weeks) deserve a pair of wings and a halo.  Thank you for being here for me through this difficult time and thank you for listening to me and helping me make it through today.  

Aiuta    

P.S. To new people to the For, tx is NOT always like this.  Days 1-3 post-injection are hardest for me and this is day 2.

[Ricki62]

Dear Auita,

I know exactly how you feel.  I'm on week 20 and am sick of it all. On top of it, I now having been getting white and red blood cell shots and the insurance is not wanting to pay for the white ones.  From my experience, the treatment gets worse as time goes by.   It seems like everything has side effects like getting the shots and then having more side effects from them.  It must be so difficult to have to work through all of this. Thank goodness I'm not working because I couldn't do it.  I take naps every day and on a good day, do about 3 hours of activity, like lunch with friends, grocery shopping, and the most basic house chores.I'm sick of not contributing much in life either.    What is your viral load?  Mine is nondetactable after 8 weeks of treatment and I think that is what keeps me going. Let's stay in touch and maybe we can vent to each other since we're in the same boat.  I hope you're feeling a little better soon.  Take care.

[aiuta]

Thanks, Jim.  You're words and example have always inspired me.  Now I thank you for your prayers as well.  All my best, Aiuta

[aiuta]

PainterNicki:  Thanks for your post.  So nice to know we're tx sisters in terms of start date.  I am REALLY sorry about your hair.  A Dr. once told me Selenium could be good for hair, but I don't know exactly for what.  Keep on trucking, especially through those day 2's.  Best, A

Merlino:  5.5 weeks UND, that's great news!!!!!  Thanks for the invitation to vent to you when I need.  Much appreciated and I make take you up on it, A

Jim:  Your support, knowledge and insight have ALWAYS been so helpful to and appreciated by me.  Thank you now for your prayers.  You are SUCH an inspiration to me and I greatly admire you as well.  Thank you again and always, Aiuta

[jmjm530]

I know exactly how you feel and while it seems it will never be over, it will. I'll keep you in my prayers tonight.

All the best,

-- Jim

[merlino]

I think most of us on tx go thru exactly what you are. This Friday will be my tenth shot and I have experienced all the things you have. When I was hit with anemia I became a mean nasty cry baby. I too owed apologies. I still find myself very short tempered. It helps me to come here and do exactly what you did. Vent. I just found out at 5 1/2 weeks I became UND. This great news will keep me going but it is just so very hard. We are all together in this. You can vent to me whenever you need!!! My worst days are 3rd and 4th after shot.

[painterlady13]

Hi Aiuta,
I think we started the same time or a week apart.  My start date was July 28th and I just posted on anlther board that I was sick and tired of being sick and tired...  All that was told to me was to hang in....  My worst days are also the 2 days after my shot.  still have chills I get so tired and started getting sick to my stomach again.  Hair is falling out about 40% gone now.  It looksw like I have dyed it way too much and is damaged yet all the dye grew out before I started TX.  I have the total forgetfulness too can't seem to remember the correct word for items.  I too will stay the course I was UND at 6 and 16 weeks and SVR is sooo worth it.  
You take care and do something for yourself to make you feel good even if it is a long bubble bath with good music and a glass of juice.
Nicki