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Avatar universal

feeling really really angry

I was just told I have hep c.....I went in thinking I had a thyroid condition and a few days later I find out I tested positive for hep c (11.0).  My alt/ast were 76/68 and my platelets were 114 so he sent the test back for hep c and mono.  I came back for both.  Just went in for RNA PCR and my viral load was 140,000.  Today, not a week later I know more than I ever wanted to know about this disease.  I have no idea how I got this, my husband is being way too calm about it all considering that 6 months ago he was diagnosed with MS.......WTF!!!!!!!    I was already at a breaking point with his most recent flare.  I feel caught up in this awful feeling of numbness, shock and even denial.  I feel like I am shedding off the old me and will have to emerge a new me in my new awful normal.  I am angry he has ms and I have hep c....I am angry that I may have given this to my 3 year old....I am angry that there will be people to judge me and my hep c status....I am angry that I don't know who to be angry at at.  
I feel overwhelmed with the idea of choosing a gastro who is open-minded about treatment options.
When will I stop feeling like this?
17 Responses
29837 tn?1414538248
There is always shock aqnd anger when you first find out, but it's nothing near the end of the world. It appears your condition is not that bad judging from your ALT/AST readings and viral load. I'm not a doctor, but I advise you to see a Hepatologist. He specializes only in liver problems complicated by Hepatitis. A gastro is also very useful in helping you treat.

You're actually pretty lucky that soon the Protease Inhibitors are coming out. These drugs, in combination with the regular treatment of Interferon and Ribavirin, are going to amplify the treatment and give you a better chance of clearing. Ask your Hepatologist and Gastro if you can wait.

In my way of thinking, if you can wait, why take a chance with a possible clearance of the virus with the traditional treatment, when in combination with the new drugs, the chances are much better at clearing. Otherwise, it's up to you... Best of luck...

Avatar universal
Hi Panthyra,

I have to get to bed now but quickly want to say your feelings are typical of most of us when initially diagnosed.

Take your time, adjust to the double whammy as best you can by learning all you can about both diseases. Now's the time to look forward and make a plan to beat this.

Gotta go now but make sure to look for a HEPATOLOGIST, if possible, and at a teaching hospital. That will make everything fit into place more smoothly.

Avatar universal
A hepatologist sounds like a good idea, my Dr tried to refer me to a gastro, but I told him I need to let it all sink in and figure out my options.   I don't know what type I have yet, but that will come with the hepotologist.  Luckily I live near U of Penn and Thomas Jefferson.
Thank you for allowing my rant...it felt better just saying (typing) it out loud.
Avatar universal
I am sorry to hear about your husband's MS. You are probably extremely tired from having to deal with so many issues at once. But as far as your HCV concerned, try not to stress out too much about it. First of all, hep C is not a sentence, it's beatable. Second, your viral load is very low, so you should have pretty good chances clearing it even with current tx drugs. Do you know your genotype? Have you tested your child  - why do you think you could have given it to him? None of my kids have it, it's not that easy to catch this virus.
Try not to think about how you got it, try not to think of how others will react to your problem. Learn more about it. It's good you came to this forum, you will find some good information here, and support too. Very few people understand what we have to go through, but people on this forum will support you, because we are all going through the same shock of being diagnosed first, and then learning to cope with it, and then going through treatment.
It's good they finally figured out that you've got hep C - now you can do something about it. Just imagine how many infected people don't get tested and have no idea what's going on.
Welcome to this community. I have two more months of tx, and can assure you, not everyone has it tough - my treatment experience has been pretty easy so far.
Avatar universal
It is shocking when you find out, especially because most of us know very little about HCV until we have to know. I received a lovely letter after applying for life insurance saying that I had a life threatening illness and they would not insure me, no mention of what it was. I had to call and threaten them to find out what specifically it was.

I've had HCV for thirty years, I found out about 12 years ago, When I looked up HCV on the internet at that time it seemed very very dismal, and treatment was limited to interferon only. Luckily you have this wonderful forum with well informed people to help you through it.
I am sorry that you have it and have to deal with it, and also deal with your husband's illness. It's will not seem as scary as you educate yourself and realize how long it takes (if ever) to get sick from this. I guess I don't know how long you've had it though.
Be well-Dave
1253246 tn?1332076910
The best advice I can give you at this time is to READ<READ<READ.I was recently diagnosed also and I think we all go through the guilt thing and the being mad and the why me?But if you will get on this forum daily  and read the posts you can get pretty well educated on the disease .You will definatly learn that there are alot of people like ourselves that are going through this together.I have not started tx as of yet,just got in with a teaching dr(hepatologist)and hes trying to get me into a trial here in Atlanta in Sept.Ask questions and you WILL get the answers!!!When I do start tx this computer will probably be my best friend(besides water-youll learn about that!) Also NOBODY will judge you except the ones you tell.Ive know for 3 months that I have this terrible bug and the only people that know are my close family.They will NOT judge you.My best friend doesnt even know.Not now anyway.People will talk and its up to you how you will handle that.Good luck and will be watching for your posts.
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