what should I do

[fdog77]

Here is what I'm going through. I just told my girlfriend that I have Hep C a few days before I started the treatment. Now we did have sex but I not wear the condom at first and i did pull out and after that I wore the condom. I just wasn't thinking at the time I really love this girl a lot!!!! She works in the health care field and she did some research and now she is mad as hell because everything that she reads says its a STD.  She keeps telling me even if I get the virus out of me I still will have a little bit in me so now she doesn't know if she wants to be with me because it’s going to put her at risk of getting it even if the test says I don't have it. Should I just let her go or keep trying to win her heart back or maybe give her sometime to think about it and ask others options?

[mrssajid]

yup i agree u shud have told her about it n she must be thinkin tht u dont care 4 her as u risked exposing her to such a big disease
but if she wants to go just bcoz u hav it thn no point in trying to win her back
if she cant stand by u in sorrow she aint worth sharin ur happiness either

[kickboxingmom]

I'm with Trish.
I just told my girlfriend that I have hep C a few days before I started the treatment.Now we did have sex but I did not wear the condom at first and I did ?
What were you thinking? She's angry .I take it that you did your thing without telling her.She's furious at you.Thinking she was exposed to an std.Getting on the internet and worrying.Yes, she's angry and has the right.
I have been married 30 years and through research and my Drs.I have in conclusion, came to this.A couple that has been together, (solely with one another),for many years are safe as long as no blood is involved with both parties.Drs. tell you the samr thing.
Blood borne pathagen.

Newer couples.Wow, there's so many std's out there.You guy's should be practicing Safe Sex anyway's.If no bleeding was involved, If I was her I would get tested for std's period.You too !
You both are in the wrong.Safe Sex.Until one knows ones history.I really hope you can work this out.You say you love her, now you'll see if she loves you.Do apoligize to her.Let her see you researching.Good luck in your relationship.That's just what I picked up on.If it's true love it will work, if not, see ya, wouldn't want to be ya.You know what I mean?Good luck guy's.
Tammy

[fretboard]

That's really unfortunate.  Her excuse for not wanting to stay with you is very weak, especially coming from a healthcare professional.  Something isn't right, find out what it is and work things out or kick her to the curb.  Good Luck

[Trish77]

I'm a little curious how long you knew you had Hep C and were intimate before you told her, when you say you told her just before you were about to start treatment - which I glossed over the first time I read your post.  I just wonder if part of her upset is that you didn't say anything when you knew.  Even if you know it's not sexually transmitted on the whole, the risk factor is still not zero.  The other person has a right to choose their own risk levels in any aspect of life.  

[HCA]

No matter what evidence you present her with she will always have a hang up about it.
Sadly I don't think the intimate side of your relationship will ever be the same.
Probably will cause more frustration than it's worth.

[Trish77]

Hep C is NOT considered an STD.  It's considered a communicable disease but not in the category of STD's.  That doesn't mean it can't be transmitted by sexual activity, however that's always further qualified to be transmitted by the kind of sexual activity that can cause tearing in one or both partners, giving rise to exchange of blood into bloodstream, which is how Hep C is infectious.  

There are MANY people in longterm relationships here who will tell you that they don't use condoms and have been together many years and their partners do not have Hep C.

You can't do much about her if she is too scared or narrowminded.  She does have the right to choose her level of risk.  I did have someone I was dating decide he had read too many conflicting things on the internet to feel comfortable in a sexual relationship.  At least he researched it and tried to come to terms with it.  Not everybody can.

You can gather information for her, you can ask her to speak to your doctor but in the end, if she is not comfortable, let her go.  Right before I got my biopsy results, a relationship I was in ended suddenly and it hit me hard.  However, it was better for me going into treatment to be relying on myself first and foremost than on someone who probably would have bailed in the middle of it.  I've done okay getting through this on my own and with the support of some friends and this forum here.  Get your emotions together, treatment will be enough of a battle.  And get ready.

Good luck to you.

Trish

[Trinity4]

I just want to add that you stated you have just started treatment.  You are going to need all the support and postive feedback you can get.  Whether it be family members, girlfriend, spouse, significant other, life partner, coworkers it doesn't matter -  you are in for a long tough haul.  Treatment has caused many relationships to end and you are not starting your tx on a very good note. You should be very careful about the lengths
you put yourself through trying to salvage your relationship.  It may not be worth it in the long run and could negatively impact on your physical and mental well being while treating.  Only you can decide what is best for you.  But a positive attitude while treating is essential, otherwise it becomes so overwhelming for some they can no longer function.
Think about what is most important to you right now.  Things have a way of working themselves out in the long run, maybe not the way we want them to, but just maybe the way it needs to be.  Stay well and wishing you the best
Trinity

[Trinity4]

If she's in the healthcare profession then she should know the chances of becoming infected with hepc through sexual transmission are extremely low.  Some doctors do not think it is a form of transmission.  Those in a monogamous relationship are advised not to take any extra precautions or change their sexual habits.  Many have stated on this forum they have been married for years, didn't know they had hepc, and their partner is not infected.  I fall into that category as well.  There was a thread some time ago where one poster insisted hepc is considered an STD.  I think that person provided documentation from the CDC but after reading it, I wasn't convinced.  If you had a bleeding sore and she had a sore as well, transmission is possible.  I wouldn't advise unprotected sex if someone had herpes because that would not only pass the herpes virus but if the sore were to bleed and she had an open wound in the vaginal area infection could occur.  You both should fully educate yourself on how the disease is contracted and if she doesn't feel comfortable with you anymore because you have hepc and even if you clear the virus still insists she can become infected - it's time to move on.  That would be bone of contention between you - sorry, couldn't resist that!
Good Luck
Trinity

[fdog77]

its hard

[DB 0]

Let her go.