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163305 tn?1333668571

Is foot in mouth a side effect?

Yesterday, I did it again, twice. One of my kids phones. They want sympathy and instead I make some wisecrack and burst out laughing and can't stop and by then my foot is firmly entrenched into my mouth. I know if they talk to me on certain days of the week, I am closer to being clear minded. My kids think I'm making excuses. I'm convinced its tx related.
32 Responses
146021 tn?1237204887
Oh, I'm pretty good at foot in the mouth, but I think in this case it's tx. It's the little old lady in the nursing home syndrome--sometimes we don't really get it, we crack a joke and someone takes offense. If we looked like the Golden Girls we could get away with it. We're just to young and beautiful! ;)
Hugs,
Bug
131817 tn?1209529311
I think my foot was glued to the side of my mouth for along time. I really don't like being accused of it though! Sometimes some of the pitiful stories that people want sympathy for gets tiring. All that we go through and then to hear something so dumb, it's hard not to laugh or be sarcastic. I was bad many times, but sometimes I am so good and compassionate. Our brains are a bit deranged during this time, what can we do?

Talk about foot in the mouth. I was happy that I missed the wayward teen's visit while I was in the hospital. While in the hospital she called John and told him that it was my karma that I was sick from all the things I did as a young person. She also told him I am a crack head. I have never seen him so angry. Of course it hurt, as he told me while I had no idea what was wrong and had a 104 temp. What a piece of work she is. If I NEVER see her again, it will be too soon. I have done nothing but support her during her life and the three years she has been in boot camp. anyway, had to rant about it a bit, it still bothers me!
Avatar universal
Hi it's me,Myown ,,,,title holder and crowned 'Foot and Mouth 2007." Please step to the side as I will try to give you all an autograph, but don't push the crowd.

Orphan lol
"They want sympathy and instead I make some wisecrack and burst out laughing and can't stop and by then my foot is firmly entrenched into my mouth."

Sorry but that is too funny. This [email protected] makes us sadistic sickies. Ha! Where's the net? Why do doctors allow us to tx at home? We should all be tx in the hospital away from society until we finish. ha! 24 or 48 weeks wearing some moo moo thing with fluffy slippers and hair in knots sounds comfy and makes me feel sorta secure. hehe  

Yeah I don't know anymore but this stuff is like taking some injection that makes us feel one minute 'oooooh so sorry I didn't mean that' and then the next minute 'shut up I meant every word.' ...lol but true.

Oh well I try not to beat myself up too much. Anyway I know someone else will eventually if I don't keep my mouth shut. ha. Just try to remember to be kind to strangers. They may inflict bodily harm. Our families understand usually and let us slide.

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bug

If we looked like the Golden Girls we could get away with it. We're just to young and beautiful! ;)

lol thats funny!
Avatar universal
While in the hospital she called John and told him that it was my karma that I was sick from all the things I did as a young person. She also told him I am a crack head. I have never seen him so angry.
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OMG!!!!! Thats unreal. I guess boot camp isn't helping her. That doesn't sound like a good situation at all. I hope John ripped into her for those comments.

I hope you don't have to see her that often while you are recovering.



173975 tn?1216257775
"This [email protected] makes us sadistic sickies"

Did ya hear about that 67 year old guy in texas who shot his wife in the stomach with a 38 and then calmly called the police and said; "Hello, this is Jos Schmoe.  I just shot my wife in the stomach."

The operator asked if his wife was still breathing.

The guy puts the phone down and you can hear him yelling to his wife, "Hey!  You dead?  You alive?"

Wonder if he's on TX?

SFG,

RANT away!  Hearing from you in any capacity is great.

But saying tx IS A RESULT OF BAD KARMA - Maybe we should sic My Own on her.

(That OK with you, MO?)

131817 tn?1209529311
I have never seen John so angry. He ripped into alright, but a lot of this garbage comes out of her mothers mouth too. I don't think this 6k a month boot camp has done anything but break the bank and she doesn't seem to apprieciate anything, in fact she asks for more. She is off to college at age 17 in Fall. I have my doubts she will make it but I am telling John I will no longer be her doormat, scapegoat etc. I am done with that girl. Maybe at age 30 she will figure out she has better things to do than bash me, but until then I want no more family dinners, I will NOT be civil to her if she is in our house etc. She has physically attacked me, pushed me, hit me thrown things and kicked me for no reason. I have gone to bum f555 Utah to her school to counselling with her. I have never done a thing to this girl and she hates me. Why should I continue being a punching bag? I don't deserve it and I am hoping JOhn tells her she needs to stay with her mother before college, cuz' I just may pull out my Riba and give her a good going over if she is at our house! Angry doesn't begin to say how I feel. I have known this girl since she was 2, taken care of her, helped her with anything. Ugggh. I think I need to see the shrink.
Avatar universal
Yes you can definitely sic me on her.  That girl wouldn't want to hear what I would have to say to her for sure. I don't understand alot of these kids today. The remarks that this kid passed to SFB were pretty horrible, yet it seems so many people have kids in their family like her. Its not uncommon for kids to have absolutely no regard for their parents or stepparents today. I'm happy with my dogs. Glad I don't have kids.
Avatar universal
She has physically attacked me, pushed me, hit me thrown things and kicked me for no reason.
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OMG, you gotta be kidding me! She really sounds like she has major problems. I wouldn't have her behind me if I was walking down a flight of stairs. She sounds like the kid in "The Bad Seed."

Thank God John doesn't make excuses which does sometimes happen in cases such as this. That would be difficult to deal with.

I don't blame you for not wanting to be in her company anymore. I wouldn't feel safe to tell you the truth. The arguments and comments are bad enough but the physical attacks are over the top.

Well hope it works out. Too bad the school is so expensive and not helping at all it seems.

Sounds like you could write a book at this point.

Hang in there!
163305 tn?1333668571
   Lucky for me, my son doesn't stay angry or my toes would still be tickling my tonsils
     I empathize with you and know that step-kids can be a royal pain. My stepson's mother abandoned him at age 3. Although I was the one saying, eat your dinner, do your homework, take a bath, etc, etc., I got all the misplaced anger that should have been directed at her. And the missing dippy mother was always 'perfect' in his eyes.
  You have the wisdom to know the teenage terror could indeed turn around once the teenage years are over but she deserves the consequences of her actions. Which in this case, since she can't be of help, she should be quiet, if that means Utah, so be it.  
   If the little darling is quoting karma and knew anything about Buddhism, she'd know to respect her elders.
    
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173975 tn?1216257775
Hawke,

Good point.  Karma and respect go hand in hand.  Unfortunately, Respect is
an alien concept to most teenagers.

"She has physically attacked me, pushed me, hit me thrown things and kicked me for no reason... I have never done a thing to this girl and she hates me."

Correction - Sounds like ya never did a thing except try to HELP her.

After all you have been through, to have to tolerate hostility and rudeness from your step-daughter is going too far.

"Why should I continue being a punching bag?"

You shouldn't and you can't afford to!  You need to take care of you and John has to be on the same page.  (IMHO)

"I think I need to see the shrink."

Might not be a bad idea.
Avatar universal
I think that there are alot of the kids today that are very rebellious for what ever reason. I have kids in my family that are being raised in a good household and they are difficult kids even with a good up bringing. I have another family member who is bringing up his children in a loving home, he's a practicing Buddhist, good father and yet his kids, one in particular is very difficult  I don't get it. What is causing this?

But I will say this, we would never ever have gotten away with some of the things that these kids today get away with as far as how they talk to their parents. We would be punished by not being able to go out with our friends or something like that. I know my one family member doesn't believe in punishing the kids, so that may be part of the problem. The teenage years are difficult, but my one niece is only 11 years old and she seems to be headed in the wrong direction. She acts and looks alot older that 11 also.

Its stressful for my brother in law as a single father, but he is hopeful things will get better as they get older. I hope this is true. Funny thing though is they are great when I have them. I think they know I won't put up with it, but then again kids usually do love to go to their Aunts and Uncles house so they are probably on good behavior because of that. Aunts and Uncles may be part of the problem.  We spoil them and then send them back home.
173975 tn?1216257775
IMHO only

I've worked with kids for 20 years (it wasn't my first choice - just turns out there was no other way to make a living with almost a PhD in music)

I've had 10,000 plus students.  In one school I saw 1200 different kids per week!

It has never been easy, and, as i said, I am/was a musician, not a child expert, but the difference in behavior between now and when I started 2o years ago is indescribable.

I took my current job about 7 or 8 years ago after I got sick of doing a 2 hour commute everyday.  I was so excited to have a job 5 minutes from my house.  I started in May, the fourth music teacher in a year.  I worked with grades k - 8 - I just barely survived that six weeks and swore I'd never again work with anyone taller than me (I'm 5'4).  (that's after getting threatend with being shot - punched in the eyes, tripped , etc.  sort of like what SFG is going through times several hundred).

i told my supervisor if he didn't transfer me I'd resign.

he placed me in a k-4 school.

Now, the 4the graders (age 10 or so) are like the 7th graders I worked with when i first started.

I'm through.  I may not go back.  And it's not Like I can't handle the kids - I just don't want to.   It's truly scary to see what the future looks like.

Again, IMHO
Avatar universal
It will get better, the teenage years are the worst and your stepdaughter is at the worst age of all esp. female to female. I have a 22 year old girl, 32 neices and nephews and 14 great neices and nephews so I have seen it all, they all go through it to some extent. Some day she will come around and let you know (in one way or another) that she does care and appreciates you.


Avatar universal
I just barely survived that six weeks and swore I'd never again work with anyone taller than me (I'm 5'4). (that's after getting threatend with being shot - punched in the eyes, tripped , etc. sort of like what SFG is going through times several hundred).

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That had to be beyond stressful to face everyday.
146021 tn?1237204887
Cindy you have a good heart, but there really are teens who are chemically imbalanced and love and understanding does not change them. My niece would give you the shirt off her back--and then steal it from you later. I had her visit every summer for years, our family vacations always included my nieces. Her father died of cirrohsis, and hep c in '98. My sister had been raising her for 4 years because of his health problems. After going thru hell and back and having tons of marital problems she finally said enough and sent her to live with her mom. This girl would stay out all weekend, lie skip school etc.
Her mom had her 4 months and after she slapped her mom, stole a car and travelled across a few states before getting caught, my niece was sent to Texas because I know all about raising kids. Ha! We saw 2 different counselors. I had to be at her school every week because of some teacher who was ready to kick her out of class, or down at the police station to bail her out from shoplifting. My kids would wait after school to give her a ride home and she would blow them off while they sat waiting in a parking lot for her. She ran away 3 months before she turned 18. When she came back to get her stuff, my husband and I begged her to reconsider, but she left. When she was 20 and pregnant I was at the hospital with her. I have given her money, paid her rent, given her furniture and haven't seen her in 10 months.
146021 tn?1237204887
Sorry to go off, it's just that after talking to other people I have found out that some kids just don't turn out well no matter how much you love them or try to get thru to them. I love my niece and invite her over all the time. She lives here in Texas still, a few miles away, but I never see her. I know she had a messed up life way before I got her but I tried and she doesn't want or need my love. And sfgirl, your step-daughter sounds really  really like a sociopath. No remorse no conscience and it's always some one elses fault.
I sound like a sociopath myself, Huh? ranting and raving!
Maybe some day they will change, and as for my niece, I'll always love her unconditionally, maybe she needs more than love though.
173975 tn?1216257775
"My niece would give you the shirt off her back--and then steal it from you later."

LB,

You REALLY have a way with words!  
"some kids just don't turn out well no matter how much you love them or try to get thru to them.!"

Yep.  I'm not a parent but had 8 brothers and sisters and after seeing thousands of kids and watching some of them from K to 8th grade (when I spent ten years in one school) I can tell you UNEQUIVOCALLY that there IS such a thing as a BAD SEED.

"And sfgirl, your step-daughter sounds really really like a sociopath."

I concur.  

"No remorse no conscience and it's always some one elses fault."

At some point they (the kid) has to take responsibility for their actions.
Maybe that's the problem.  For some reason, the law that every action causes an equal RE-action is not taught or modeled or even acknowledged anywhere - not in the media, not int the home, not in the schools - it's terrifying.

I've seen adults blackmailed and fired by kids who at the age of 7 up know the system inside out and know how to milk it.

Right before I went on leave for TX, the PE teacher in my school was up on DYFS charges because a couple of fifth grade boys had decided it would be a lot of fun to make MR. D lose his job.

They nearly succeeded.

It took the poor guy six months to straighten it out, and he's lucky he was able to.  

"I sound like a sociopath myself, Huh? ranting and raving!"

Me too.  *LOL*
146021 tn?1237204887
You always make me smile. I felt bad for going on and on about kids, but I seem to be in a mood today.
Did you understand what I meant when I said 'do the drapes match the rug?'
I seem to be losing a lot of hair that normally would require a bikini wax. I'm glad to see it go, but I wonder if it's just temporary.
Hugs,
Bug
173975 tn?1216257775

Did you understand what I meant when I said 'do the drapes match the rug?'
I seem to be losing a lot of hair that normally would require a bikini wax. I'm glad to see it go, but I wonder if it's just temporary.

NOW I DO!!!!!!

That went entirely over my head!  

Hahahahaha.  

I gotta remind you I'm on the Board of Directors for the Coalition to fight for the Dignity of the Cosmetically Impaired.  
148987 tn?1287805926
I've also laughed a few times at things that the other person didn't fully appreciate. I have a friend who's looking for a job. His current job is stressing him out so much he had a seizure at work. He tells me in his latest interview he was getting hammered in a technical interview and he said 'I just wanted out of the room, I didn't know what to say or do.' I told him he should have gone into a seizure and fell on the floor flopping around. I laughed quite hard for a good minute to silence on the other end of the phone followed by an 'anyway'.
Avatar universal
I'm so sorry your 17 year old step daughter is so rude and disrespectful to you. Many of the young people today feel "entitled". I don't know why, we never did that. It's so strange. It will pass with time. She will mature and grow up. She has so much to learn about life. She might be copying her mother who is her main role model. I hope in time you can have a really good relationship with her with respect.

My kids are grown and gone. But I still have one who is immature. He's 31 and sometimes acts like  21. He criticizes me a great deal and thinks he knows what is best for me (even when I don't ask his advice). All because he has a master's degree in college and I don't. He's visiting China now with his family and I'm so glad, he won't criticze me long distance, too expensive. He thinks I favor my older son who is 44. Well, he treats me like a Queen with total respect. Anyone would prefer that. He and his wife gave me the best Xmas last year.    
163305 tn?1333668571
I love that story. I'd go into hysterics. Sometimes I wonder if  too many people have lost thier sense of humor. I wish I had the guts to say half the things I think of, but I'm not poker faced enough to pull it off.
   And to everyone bemoaning those damn ingrateful kids, I hear echos from Bye-bye Birdie. " Kids, whats the matter with kids today..."
173975 tn?1216257775
GM,

"He's visiting China now with his family and I'm so glad, he won't criticze me long distance'

How funny and probably TRUE!  Lucky you.

L-Horn,

have a seizure - great solution!  

Hawke,

unfortunately it's no longer a byby birdy world.  

Hope ya don't think I'm making these stories up?

If so, just check the news - the 3 LI teenage girls caught on video beating up a another girl, the 67 year old Penn. teacher beaten and sent to the emergency room coz he confiscated a students cell phone (which the kid wasn't supposed to be using and refused to relinquish)

Not to mention my personal experiences which haven't, luckily, yet risen to the level of making the local papers!

Most folk wouldn't last two seconds in a school - not that they'd want to and i totally Don't blame them.

Schools are the new frontline - they're war zones - and if it hasn't yet happened wherever you're living, all i can say is - you're lucky.

But the old NIMBY perspective is one that's persistent, globally as well as nationally and locally.

Don't mean to rant . . . .

131817 tn?1209529311
I think that some kids have some serious problems that can't always be resolved with love and caring. This girl is bipolar and borderline, like her mother. Big problem is her mother is the perfect one (who does nothing) and feeds her all this junk about me. I think she feels extremely entitled to a wealthy life. She is going to learn the hard way that her therapy costs are cutting big time into anything she may have inherited. Luckily for her, we are paying for college, although with her total obsession with guys, I doubt she will make it far, although I sure hope she does. I think at some point when shes in her 30's maybe she will understand she didn't know it all at age 17 and have some compassion, although if she is a sociopath, she won't.

Bug, you mentioned this niece before, w/o all the details...You do understand. I really do think that chemical imbalances as well as environmental influences have a lot to do with how children grow up. I have had a son with big problems, but I am not terrified of him. I am of her. I had locks put on my bedroom doors when she was 12 because I was afraid I would wake up with a knife in my back one morning. I still feel the same way today. It is really hard for John to hear this and to tell her I want nothing to do with her, but he did it. I think it is in her best interest as well to have consequences for her actions. My line is drawn in the sand, I have had enough and won't deal with it again.

Wyntre, you know I know about teaching....after hundreds of kids you KNOW that they are not all going to come out well. I won't go back to teaching either. It is really sad when the nutz get to run the asylums and that's what seems to be happening. We NEVER would treat teachers like they are treated today. And parents a lot of times back up their kids. Perhaps it will take a long time and a lot of teachers to leave the profession before society gets that something is really wrong with how we bring up kids today. They feel so entitled and smarter than we are, among other stuff....Don't get me started...I just won my court case against the school district regarding being attacked. I'm certainly not going to take it at home. I did for long enough, gave her enough chances. Yeah, she would appologize and be all sweet and nice and then stab me in the back the next minute. Nope, not going to put up with it anymore. Stick a fork in me, I am DONE.  
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