Post Interferon/ ribavirin side effects

[dejavu4ever]

Greetings, wishing all a return to health and happiness. My question and concerns pertain to the chronic problems I have encountered since my therapy. I did the year on Interferon and ribavirin, responded then came out of remission with a vengeance. The depression was unbearable, also the flu like symptoms. When I ended the therapy I had acquired fibromyalgia, hoshimoto's thyroiditis, increased viral count, GI problems, and a new personality!... and not a better one, I have never been able to come off anti-depressants since. Prior to treatment I was a pretty happy and cheerful woman, the weekend neighborhood kid collector, 30+ animals, hobbies, and a kind word for most everyone. Denial probably. The kids were happy and I was always, full of beanie weenies, so I use to say. A high level Neo Nurse with an even disposition. ACOA, in recovery with 2 children and a husband and stepfather to my kids. The disease really has taken a toll on my marriage.  Post TX my viral count went from the 100,000's to the millions. I then went to a specialist in Charlotte, NC who decided I would respond with the new Peg Interferon and ribavirin. I wanted to get rid of the disease" bad", working with sick babies and having a deadly disease did not correlate as ok in my mind. I felt "dirty and dangerous", sooooo, I tried the new tx. Within 6 months I had to be hospitalized for severe depression and suicidal ideation. I did not have good support. I guess I had spoiled my family to the point that my codependent, overindulgent personality had left little room for compassion on their part.  It is amazing the realizations you come to when you finally have to stop....and take a real look. The new treatment did not work out, I had not responded to the point where I had a chance for a cure, and crying all the time was not all that great. That was 10 years ago, now my viral count is 13,000,000 per cc. I have taken good care of myself so my liver has not deteriorated like it could have. My current biopsy is only a little worse than it was 10 years ago when I started, stage 2+++, and a little. Less fatty than when I started and only slightly more fibrosis. That would be great if I had any health left, but the truth is I am the walking dead. Severe fatigue, depression, fibromyalgia, joint discomfort, hoshimoto's, bradycardia, low blood pressure. Gluten intolerant (presently 2.5 years off gluten) and chronic lymphadenopathy. Lymph treatment is almost constant I get so congested, This has been a real roller coaster ride, my kids (grown now) want their mom back,  I am afraid that person is gone. Sometimes I feel so depressed I see no point. I believe in life after death, I believe my soul is safe, and reincarnation, that were all little pieces of the big picture, and that we go on, I am just so tired.  I am not so connected to this life that I believe I have to stick around until the bitter end; my beliefs are more like those of indigenous peoples who felt that when you became a burden to the tribe it's time for the long walk. But, here I am, the kids would want me to stick around, there are no holes in me and I look human so...I must be OK.  Well, I am not. I hate being the walking dead. I do not wake up and say WOW, another day, now I wake up and say, well I am still here. My mind has never recovered, I guess I need some new dandy anti-depressants; the Prozac sure is not strong enough to overcome how I feel. Is there anyone else who feels like they have lost part of themselves from the treatment? I am on Provigal and that gives me some energy, but I have to pay later, usually complete fatigue for a few days. Pain pills relieve me to a point. A provigil and a pain pill and I am almost human. Oh, and somewhere along the line I have had some brain swelling. I know I am not cognitively even close to who I was. Neither my husband nor I am interested in being intimate since the diagnosis. I thank my higher power that I have not given hep C to anyone... that I know of.  My marriage is now a friendship, kind of. It is all so weird, and not what I had in mind. I try to be spiritual about the whole thing but, I think I may be bipolar now, sometimes I feel like it is all in divine order and other times I take enjoyment planning my demise. My liver does not like food. So I eat very little. Healthy, but little. When my liver swells it hurt my ribs and back, I am uncomfortable often. The way I look at life has changed, things seem so unfair to me. Not for myself as much as I take such notice of things around me, but powerless to do anything. I see so much of the way life treats others, how out of balance the human race is, so thoughtless and greedy. I use to have a little farm, and I very much love animals, so I am affected by the treatment of our furry brothers terribly. I just don't get it. I am sure I have enough bad Karma for 10 people. But, why all the injustice. I am sick and tired of being sick and tired. Any advice. Laugh, Laugh, I know we are all suffering and here is a hug to all of you.  Oh, one more question, has anyone heard of the Bob Beck's protocol or the rife machine? What supplements help you the most? Thanks for listening; I don't believe I have ever been quite this honest about how I really feel.  Thank you. Dejavu

[dejavu4ever]

Thank you. I will look those up or maybe we could communicate later, Thanks, Dejavu

[desrt]

So much I'd like to discuss with you, but right now running late for work. Maybe later and in the meantime some others I'm sure will have insight to share. Just briefly, as far as supplements go, do some reading on CerefolinNAC (don't be thrown off by its FDA recognized uses - also has some interesting off-label apps) also CoQ 10.
Take care. There is help and hope.