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Avatar universal

RIBA RAGE

I tried to archive it but maybe today's comments and suggestions is what I need.
Week 17 of 24 tx (2b) so yes, I am lucky and thankful with great lab values and only 7 weeks to go. Doctor tells me my chances are great of a full recovery and I have been so faithful with the regime.

People kept talking about the "riba rage" and the only side effects I had the first 12 weeks of treatment was fatigue, made it to work every day w/o any coworkers knowing, and crawled in bed sleeping for 12 plus hours a day. Life has really been a frickin bore and boyfriend and I plan nothing, do nothing, etc. . However, he says my personality sux and I am filled with anger. I disagreed until.......

My mother fell, broke her hip, almost burned her house down when I found her on  12/12, had a hip replacement, two weeks in a horrible rehab, now living with me. So my entire holidays were spent at the hospital now basically confined to home on days off from work. I love my mother and doubt if this would make me a maniac if not on these meds.


THE TRUE MEANING of riba rage is here. I am a lunatic and trying so hard not to lose my temper at the slightest thing but I do and I am. I still have three more weeks before my mother goes back home. Boyfriend is at the end of his rope with my anger and the biggest joy of my day is my Ambien and Xanax at night to pass out. I already tried a/d (lexapro and effexor) before tx since I was told they help but I felt they were just one more med and saw no difference.  Should I even bother trying the a/d  again with tx ending 2/24? I didn't like either. Have a full script for Cymbalta.....should I attempt at this point b/c I would get off of them after tx anyway.

I just need to vent with others.  Any suggestions, not just the a/d, I am asking for. What can I do to try to make things better (bubble baths, walks, etc) I already know.

Basketcase
(DEBRA)
24 Responses
Avatar universal
Have you tried marijuana?  No kidding, give it some consideration, it helps a lot.
Avatar universal
I have to laugh. Thanks for the suggestion but since I quit smoking cigs and pot over a year ago.
Also drug tested by my employer AND hepatologist ...........
250084 tn?1303311035
  Sorry your struggling with this. I am lucky to have little stress right now and what little I have isn't going well :} You have a bit on your plate to deal with during tx and taking care of someone right now is very hard on you! You need some 'taking care of' yourself. I am boring and no fun at all right now too, but all understand why and that "I'll be back" soon! Tell your boyfriend it IS temporary and these drugs are VERY hard on you, physically, emotionally as much also.

  When I get that skin crawling, know I am getting b*tchy feeling.....I take 1/2 of a xanax and does help, without knocking me out, takes the edge off. I did not and have not had to do AD's and with only 9 weeks, just going to deal with my moods BUT....mine are not affecting others much, don't have to deal with others a lot, and if 48-72 weeks tx I'd be more open to resort to AD's. Be sure to explain to your mother and boyfriend what this can do to you, in simple terms.  Even print some post here on it, I did that and seeing others worse, Riba rage, lack of sex desire, etc. helped them realize it IS the meds, not that I don't love or want them.....just can't handle them right now , LOL.
  I have said, more than once..... I'll like you again tomorrow, wink, wink. They get it.

  Feel better                                                          LL
264121 tn?1313033056
well, first of all, know that you are not alone.  A lot of us get this tense and continually irritable feeling.  If I can't do anything else, I take a xanax.  Seems to help.  Other than that, I just remind myself of everything in my life that I am grateful for, and try to deal.  Wish I could offer you a silver bullet, but...

Also, give yourself a break.  It is OK to be difficult on tx.  Treatment is HARD!  So don't kick yourself when you're down.  You are not going to be perfect.  Nobody is.  And if you need to adjust your AD's, its never too late to do that.  Sometimes a small difference, or a different med helps immensely.  

My own ad's are lexapro 20mg and wellbutrin XL 300mg daily.
287900 tn?1218647818
just the post i needed.  

all day i feel as if my skin is crawling...my ears are supersensitive, and my eyesight feel wiggy.  I feel like ****, and made the extremely terrible mistake of going shopping at walmart- NOT the place to go when your in a ribe rage?

Here are some thoughts that have hit me today- while out shopping ... and i realize i am probably also suffering from a ME syndrome, but being in week 15 of 48 for 1a- it could also be riba rage?
thoughts:
1 -people should have to take shopping cart driving tests- and know the 'rules of the shopping aisle' .... violators should be placed on an island, where they can engage in thought # 5 below.  Be a good reality show eh?
2 - anyone who drives their cart SO close to my backside (i'm NOT going slow) has the right to hear me say " sorry- would you like to go ahead, or did you just enjoy cart ******* my ***???" - in a PLEASANT (albiet sarcastic ) tone.
3 - my kids REALLY need to not go shopping with me while i am on TX ...posssibly ever,....lol
4 - other people's children should learn 'volume control' while speaking - in fact- some adults should too- yelling in my ears to someone two or three people up the damn aisle
5 - it is too bad they don't have shopping cart bumper car / derbies....

SOoooo I guess this is my way of saying that I think we all have bad days,and mine today sucked.  i think the riba is making my bad day even worse... and although i cannot tolerate crowds well on a good day i need to LEARN TO NOT EVER SHOP WHILE IN THIS MODE.

Hopefully this willwork for me.  I think getting away from your loved ones, and letting them know it IS you and that YOU need space / rest / whatever, and like LadyLuri said above, letting them know you'll like them again tomorrow.  Being transparent with the loved ones, TRYING to stay away from the stressors that can trigger more rage, and engaging in positive coping strategies you mentioned should help.  The helpful things i have found to work are reading, driving fast with loud music and ....for shame, smoking a million plus two cigarettes!  Most helpful so far of the day has been a) taking a nap and b) reading these posts and KNOWING I AM NOT ALONE...yay!

Wondering after today if an increase in a/d might be called for.  I think I am on 20 mg of ...Celexa..not sure but the generic name is citalopram.

Also fantasizing about a fully funded retreat / spa for those on this Tx ... wouldn't THAT be lovely.  even a weekend resort???  

Thanks for listening
Albany (not my real name if walmart police are looking for me...)

250084 tn?1303311035
  LOL! I'd said this in a post.....NOT to go to Walmart..even in public! Felt my 1st taste of Riba rage in a walmart! And was b*tching about 'do you NOT know one aisle is for one way and vice versa and WHY must you take your entire family to Walmart"?! It ain't Disney World you know!! LOL. Don't get behind the lady screaming "oh, no, these are on sale...PRICE CHECK AT REGISTER 5'! Wanted to kill a ditz cashier and I am NOT like this!
  I do all you said....get away from loved ones and so on.
And that literally 'skin crawling' feeling ......rather hear nails on a chalk board!

As we speak....I need dog food, milk, butter, FOOD .....didn't go today and dogs ate left overs!
On tx...Walmart only after 1:00 am! I'm usually up and Riba wired about than anyway :}

  Happy shopping, have a better day tomorrow (today! 1:20 am!) Oh sheet, time to go to Walmart :}
( I promise...never heard of an Albany if they have posters out:}

                                                                                        LL
212705 tn?1221624250
ok...I gotta ask. Why is your hep dr. testing you for drugs??
250084 tn?1303311035
  I get tested too in this trial! Ms. Anti drug here get's tested for drugs, LOL.

If you test for alcohol or drugs, I believe your throw out of trial?? Which sucks for those that do use pot for sides. Good thing I didn't/don't! Tho it's crossing my mind these days!

LL
212705 tn?1221624250
Would you refresh my memory. What trial are you in?
and are you allowed pain meds (opiates)?
I think you said you would take 1/2 a zanax..so they allow that.
If everyone is being tested for alcohol/drugs in trials...I can only imagine the added expense??!
y
173975 tn?1216261375
FWIW,
I'm at week 57 of 72.  Today, during a pleasent sight-seeing drive around the mountains, I realized just how nutty I have become the past year and found myself wondering how i have managed to survive it.

Then it dawned on me that this past week has been relatively mild, compared to the first 56 and I was trying to think of what had changed, and it hit me that I have had as little interaction with others as possible the past 7 days and I also have had NO riba rage!  (except little bits with the flock).  

So my advice is to limit your exposure to others, or their exposure to you, as much as possible and you'll be fine.

No, seriously, it is really bizarre the way the uncontrollable anger just takes over.  it's like an out-of-body-experience.

In retrospect, I'm surprised that I've managed to stay out of jail for riba-induced murder for the past 14 months.

My suggestion is spend as much time ALONE as possible


wyntre
212705 tn?1221624250
hear, hear!
That's so true for me as well. Limited exposure. I am doin' so much better since not working, having to interact with ex...less mental turmoil....for sure.
173975 tn?1216261375
I'm only now realizing how much I've been trying to do the past year; between moving after 14 years, quitting a 20 year career, financial stuff, renovations, all sorts of legal and insurance  stuff- stuff that I didn't have to deal with while NOT on TX - it really is a miracle I've survived it!

i think we just expect so darn much from ourselves and it's so hard for us to admit we really are semi-handicapped by the treatment.

i wish i had tried to take it easier but there was no choice, really.  If i hadn't tried to handle all those 'life' crises I'd probably be in a homeless shelter around about now.

I intend to spend the last 4 months of my sentence doing as little as possible, letting my body heal, allowing myself to rest, not worrying too much about the future and planning for the time when my strength returns.

LW - i know you've been through a lot of changes this year, too.  TX is bad enough when you're in a stable environment, but when you're treating AND moving AND handling financial considerations AND (in your case) involved in a rocky personal relationship AND starting a new job . . . .

Oy vey.  

wyn
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