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Avatar universal

Smile for today....

A woman and a man are involved in a car accident on a snowy, cold Monday morning.  Both of their cars are totally demolished but amazingly neither of them are hurt.

After they crawl out of their cars, the woman says," So you're a man.  That's interesting.  I'm a woman.  Wow, just look at our cars, there nothing left of them, but we're unhurt.  This must be a sign from God that we should meet and be friends and live together in peace for the rest of our days."

Flattered, the man replies, "Oh yes, I agree with you completely; this must be a sign from God!"

The woman continues, " And look at this, here's another miracle.  My car is completely demolished but this bottle of wine didn't break.  Surely God wants us to drink this wine and celebrate our good fortune."

Then she hands the bottle to the man.

The man nods his head in agreement, opens it, drinks half the bottle, and then hands it back to the woman.  The woman takes the bottle and immediately puts the cap back on, and hands it back to the man.

The man asks, "Aren't you having any?"

The woman replies, "No.  I think I'll just wait for the police..."

Moral of the story:
Women are clever!!!
75 Responses
Avatar universal
funny creatures aren't we
12773 tn?1328916786
That was a good one.
Avatar universal
I know you're a nice person and I do like you, but just a quick story....a male friend of mine sent this same joke to me as an email forward, but the ending said "women are EVIL." I couldn't understand how he thought that would be funny, but even with it changed to "clever," it still has a very negative feeling. Not looking for an apology or anything. I know your intent was not to cause harm or anything negative. And I'm not into political correctness or any of that.

I called him of course and told him that there is no doubt in my mind this joke was copied from a gay men's magazine(not that I'm saying that's where my friend got it or you, I'm saying 'its origin') and he should look at it as a 'put down' directed towards women, not as a joke.

Just my 2 cents while under the influence of riba and interferon.  But in reality I think my 2 cents is just about the same whether under riba or not. HA!
Avatar universal
You may really need some serious counseling. How you concluded that was undoubtedly copied from a "gay" magazine demonstrates once again that you are not nearly as insightful as you imagine yourself to be. I think your take is way off base - way, way, way off base. Maybe you've never heard of the battle of the sexes or heard any jokes based on that notion but they are created and once in a while from outside the gay community. Mike
Avatar universal
To Mike, Attorney for gay rights:
You said: Maybe you've never heard of the battle of the sexes or heard any jokes based on that notion but they are created and once in a while from outside the gay community.

This is not an example of battle of the sexes, Pleeez.
This is an example of the cute little 'innocent looking' cr@ap that gets in under the wire. Some such as Ameriboi are too young possibly to see the harm things like this causes. Some women may even see it as harmless, but its not. Its a put down period. Yes I am an ex womans lib and probably do have some residual dust hanging on me but too bad, MR.Knowitall the 3rd.

And yes I agree with you, alot of this stuff doesn't always come from woman hating gay magazines. Some straight men HATE women too. Any woman that has been in the work place knows that.

But you are soooooo sooooo smart and I just love you because of that. I don't know how I lived life before I met you. Pleeeeeeeeez never leave the forum. What would I do without your guidance and correction. You'll miss me when I leave here in June Michaelsimon,Aka Count Dracula who loves ot look at his blood filling up in vials. Are you wearing your black cape as you sit at your computer?

You can't stand it because I am the only one who doesn't kiss your ring and I won't BTW.
Avatar universal
I know how you really feel about me, don't fret about it. BTW, I'm wearing blue suede shoes at the moment... with a matching belt. You'd look pretty good down there with a sued brush just giving them a quick once over. Mike
Avatar universal
The lady doth protests too much, methinks
Avatar universal
shut up.  < is that answer short enough for you.
Avatar universal
I should have mentioned that came from Shakespeare - Hamlet - it's the Queen speaking. Try reading some of the more significant literature and curb your appetite for gay magazines, if you can manage it. It will serve you well enable you to make a more memorable impression with your better educated and more refined friends. Mike
Avatar universal
I guess my influence on you has really turned you into a 'social butterfly.' For someone who was here only to READ THE HEP C facts and studies, you have really come out from your shell and you really do love to talk now. Why don't you summon someone up from the lower 5 to make you something to eat. You sound tired.

Avatar universal
I just think you're a very prejudiced and uninformed person - that's all. You don't know anything about the "gay community" obviously. Gay men get along with straight women generally better than straight men except for the chemical/physical attraction. I know many gay men who shop, chat, play cards and generally socialize  with straight women and they very infrequently make jokes like the one you're getting yourself all worked up about. Gay men RELATE to women - can you grasp that and figure out why that is? Maybe you've been getting your information from Ted Haggard who I personally think is a very poor representative of the Gay Community - he might make a joke like that trying not to appear gay - the liar that he is. You really haven't a clue about most of the things you speak about but at this point I have seen enough of your posts that I shouldn't be surprised. I'm really more dismayed than surprised. You just seem so stuck in such a deep and dark hole that I feel badly for you. Come up and into the light or reason and forgiveness and righteousness. It's good up here. Mike
Avatar universal
1. don't tell me I don't know anything about the gay community. I have more gay friends than you can shake a stick at. And of course gay men love being around women. I won't even touch that line becasue that will have you posting back to me again and I don't want to hear from you anymore ever.

2.Don't even discuss "Teddy" with me. His wife should have seen that a long time ago. Any person that says he feels he's not gay becasue he only had sex with one man is gay AND NUTS and until he is real with his problem he cannot change. But funny thing is that ridiculous statement he made is more common in the gay community than most think. I have a friend (male) who only sleeps with married men so he feels he is STRAIGHT becasue he only goes with married men!! Oh yeah, nothing wrong with him. And that is a true story. I didn't make that up.

But Micheal dear, it comes down to this... we all have weakness and sin in our life, including me. We all need to see it as that. If we say 'its okay,' I am who I am, then we stay the same.

Okay, enough.Why do I bother trying to talk to you. You ticked me off as usual and you won't understand anyhow because you are always right in your eyes and you are so used to people bowing at your feet, that it KILLS you that I don't bow at your expensive footwear.

Don't get on my nerves anymore. I'm not in the mood.

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