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Can I ask why everyone keeps saying that gential herpes 1 is know big deal.

I’m scared to death everyday from this. I try to understand it and I think I’m getting more confused. I’m scared to have sex with my boyfriend. We have been since end of June and I found out first part of Aug. he say he not seeing anything and I’m so afraid to give it to him. I check myself everyday and I haven’t seen anything since I had one blister.will he get in the gential area or could he get it in the mouth? Everyone talks about their numbers and my doctor said it really doesn’t have a number it was just positive.
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Avatar universal
How where you diagnosed? With a swab of the sore? Is it HSV1 or HSV2? Since you were diagnosed in August, I assume you have been sexually active before that with your current boyfriend?
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OK… Hold up. You were diagnosed, I assume via a swab, with HSV one. I believe, if your boyfriend was the one who performed oral sex on you before you had your sore, he is the source of your infection. That means, he has HSV one orally. If he already has HSV one orally, it is highly highly unlikely for him to get it in a new location. He already has the antibodies. HSV one genitally sheds infrequently and usually causes infrequent outbreaks. I think you’re worrying about nothing. I know the diagnosis is a shock but since this is something that you more than likely got from him, don’t worry about passing it on to him.
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ok I guess I need to explain that I made a BIG mistake. We where together for 15 years and we seperated a year and half ago and I had unprotected sex. I’m such a dum dum person and very sad that I did. That was back in April and June and then I found out in August and my boyfriend and I got back together in June. So I’m not sure if it was him or my stupid mistake. When time I get a cough or a pain I think it’s a breakout but I don’t even know what that’s like because I didn’t even realize I had this until I went for my hemorrhoid. I don’t know what to do I’m so upset with myself and I don’t want to infect my boyfriend but maybe I already have.
Avatar universal
When this blister showed up, did your boyfriend perform oral sex on you a few days before hand? Did the previous partner you had perform oral sex on you? I understand feeling guilty and it sounds like you’re beating yourself up for this. But stop. I know it’s easier said than done but try. HSV one is incredibly common. Doesn’t matter if you have it orally or down below. I think that your current beau is the source of this. Most people who have HSV, whether one or two, have no symptoms. Even without the symptoms, they can pass the virus. HSV one in the genital region is 99.9% of the time passed via oral sex.  Genital to genital transmission of HSV one, is superlow. Actually, if you ask Terry Warren who is a leading expert on HSV, I don’t think she’s ever seen a case of it. You made a mistake. So many people make the same mistake. It sounds like you two have worked through it. Now you have to work through this and realize that your risk to him is so very low, but he could have this already.
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Yes it was a swab and was positive for herpes simplex 1 but in the gential area. Yes it was about a week after we got back together that he did oral. Then I found out Aug 10 so I think I might have had the blister that week because I thought it was a hemorrid. I wish I would never had gone to the doctors for that because I probably would have never known I had this virus. So can we pass it to each other only in the gential or could he get sores in his mouth because I’m always looking at his mouth. I always checking my too but it sounds like I can’t get it there. This is very confusing and I can’t think straight and I’m driving myself crazy
Sounds like he is your source. He performed oral sex on you and then shortly there after you found a blister and it was swapped positive for HSV one. You’re not going to pass it to him genitally or orally because he already has it orally. It would be highly unlikely for him to get reinfected in a new location. You both share the same strain.
He could get sores on his mouth because he already has HSV one. Because of something you give him. You could ask him to blood test but the blood test for HSV one is not very good and misses a lot of infections.
*NOT because of something you gave him.
I never thought we were going to get back together. I always hoped because we really do love each other very much. It was a year later and I still don’t know how to tell him I made that terrible mistake. I did tell him about my virus and he can’t understand why it’s showing up know after 15 years of being together. I told him it could live dormer for years and sometimes if can come alive again. I feel so bad.
People can go years and years without transferring the virus. And you’re right, it can lay dormant for years. I honestly don’t think you have to tell him  about your relationship before you officially got back together. I have little doubt that your boyfriend is the source.  And you know what? Most people get HSV one when they’re young. Very young. The catcher from a relative who has a cold sore or interacting with other kids. You know kids a will kiss anything and put their mouth on anything.  You did nothing wrong. You weren’t with him when you had sex with another person. I understand about the unprotected part. Yeah… It’s not a smart move. But people make that same mistake every single day. Some people don’t care at all. It might be helpful if you download the herpes handbook from the Westover heights clinic website. It has a ton of information on this and it might be really good for him to look it over. And for you to look it over.  I think more than anything, what you’re doing is holding on to guilt. It’s not the HSP. Think about it. It’s so common and not some rare disease that you alone have to carry. I think you need enjoy your relationship, be thankful for all you have, and discover what you can about the virus together. He will see how common it is and how easily it transmits the oral sex.
Thank you for your support. Do you think I need to worry about passing it to him. He is being so undstandibg about this I just don’t want to hurt him or his family.
I do not. If it gives you peace of mind, you can take daily antiviral medication, which reduces shedding but HSV1 genitally doesn’t shed often. Plus, if he does have this already, you are not going to infect him! He althas what you have! Do you think by some crazy magic you’re going to give him something he already has? You’re going to be fine. And he’s going to be fine. If you want to eliminate any doubts in your mind, ask him to blood test. Do note though, HSV1 IgG tests miss up to 30% of infections. He could get an HST Western blot from the University of Washington, which is the most accurate test for HSV one out there. It’s not easy to get, it’s a little expensive but this might help clear some things up for both of you. And I think for peace of mind and for your own esteem, maybe you should look into it. Download the handbook I mentioned. It’s not long and it’s not super technical but I think it will give you both some clarity. You are going to be just fine. You’re focusing on the negative. That does more damage to a relationship than this stupid virus. You have someone who is accepting and not worried. Follow his lead. Good luck to you.
Ok again thanks I wil download that. One think I can’t fiqure out is 2 months before I found out I had a werid feeling on the inside of my lips and I’ve been to 4 different doctors and they all say it’s dry mouth syndrome. For the last / weeks my right groin area has a constant dull pain. Went to OBG she said everything was fine. Not sure what it could be but sure wish this mouth think would go away.
I downloaded the site you told me about. It was good but I’m still lost. I guess I not understanding all this. If I have it gential than it’s not oral herpes did got it from oral sex with my current partner or prior? I also don’t understand they say it’s not likely I will give it to my current boyfriend because it don’t teally shed if it’s gential? Sorry I not understanding all this. Can you also tell me why my mouth feels like I have paper cuts in it everyday and had for about 3 months. I only had one blister and like I said I thought it was a hemorrid. Should I get tested for herpes 2 but my first swab said I didn’t have that only 1
It would be hard to know exactly who you got it from but If your current boyfriend performed oral sex on you a few days before the appearance of the blister, then more than likely he is your source. HSV1 genitally does not shed frequently at all, so it is not likely to be passed to a partner. On top of that, if he has HSV1 already (and it does sound like he does and passed it to you with oral sex), he won’t get the virus in a new location. I can’t tell you about your mouth issues but you may want to see a doctor or dentist about that. HSV orally can be inside the mouth but it usually manifests outside the mouth. And if it was HSV, it wouldn’t  last for months. I don’t think you necessarily need to test for HSV two. Your swab came back positive for HSV one, so that’s what you have genitally.  You can test for it if you want to as the IgG test for HSV two is very good. I understand how you’re feeling and that you want answers, But sometimes there just aren’t concrete answers to any of it.  I think you’re in a panic and need to start to look at this in a different way. HSV one in the genitals sheds in frequently. If your partner has HSV one already, he’s not going to be reinfected.  It is possible that you’ve had this for a long time. Not everybody who has this gets outbreaks. But I think with the timing, oral sex shortly before a mild outbreak, points to your current boyfriend. Maybe if he gets a test, that my clear some things up. The HSV Western blot from the University of Washington is the bass test available for HSV one. Or you could ask him to get an IgG test, type specific. I feel like you need the confirmation that he has this too, because you fear passing something along. I really don’t think you’ll pass anything.
Ok thank you I will try to not feel like I shouldn’t have a relationship with him because he really is so happy and kerosene’s telling me not to worry. I know he never made the mistake I did. He is such a wonderful man. I just wish I didn’t have any chance of giving him this as know one diverse it. Hopefully I won’t ferl so bad next time we try to intimate. I been to 4 diffetent doctors for my mouth and they all say it looks fine. Wish I could also stop checking myself everyday 2-3 times a day.
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