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Avatar universal

Condom failure

On a night out 2 days ago in the uk I met a girl at a bar, walked her home and had protected vaginal sex with her for about 5 mins... However the condom had split at the top when I pulled out but was still intact down the shaft, I did not ejaculate as I was too drunk. She is Eastern European but is living here with years, works in the food business, is in her early thirties and said she had only one other sexual partner this year (I don't know whether to believe that). I didn't see any sores but that doesn't mean there wasn't any.

I am in a long term relationship where I strayed about 14 months ago but tested neg for all stds. I feel very guilty for my indiscretion and don't want to put my partner at risk for any infections.

The std I'm most worried about after doing research is herpes, I've never been tested for herpes but never had any sores of any kind either.
1. What are the symptoms of herpes and when do they arise?

2.what is the transmission rate for herpes?

I didn't notice any sores or anything but that doesn't mean there wasn't any or maybe there might have been inside, I don't know.
3. Can you have internal herpes lesions and have nothing outside?
4. Is it common or unusual to contract herpes and have absolutely no symptoms?
16 Responses
3149845 tn?1506627771
1. both oral and genital herpes sores can appear 2 to 10 days after exposure that appear as a blister and heals inabout a week or 2.

2. if you have a long term partner transmission rates are not an issue but possible exposure to your partner.
3. yes
4. yes especially with hsv1
Avatar universal
Had cold sores as a child and into my teenage years so I'm sure I have hsv1 with years. Haven't had an outbreak in years...
So my worry is hsv2
1. Is there a rough estimate on the chance of picking it up from a one off partially protected exposure? 1/10 or 1/100
2. Does hsv2 always show symptoms or in 8/10 times?
3. Does having hsv1 make it more difficult to pick up hsv2?
4. If I don't show symptoms for genital herpes do I need to get tested? (Last time I got tested, doctor examined me and said no need to test when I hadn't ever had legions, ulcers or other symptoms)
Avatar universal
This morning I have what is the beginning of a cold sore, (maybe I'm being paranoid and am imagining the tingling) I've had cold sores before, lots of them. I didn't perform oral sex during my exposure nor did I even kiss the girl I think.

Is this cold sore related to my exposure or is it just coming out as I'm so worried about my exposure, I haven't been sleeping well, not eating much and am stressed over it?

Can a potential genetal exposure manefest itself as a mouth cold sore?
What is the longest u could have genetal herpes without having an outbreak?
3149845 tn?1506627771
1. really cant estimate
2. cant answer that
3. yes a bit
4. no, only get tested if you have a long term partner.

condom breaking and genital exposure has nothing to do with oral irritations.
Avatar universal
If I was exposed to the virus would the symptoms appear at the exposed areas (ie. head of the penis or beyond base of the condom) or could symptoms appear anywhere in d genetal area?
3149845 tn?1506627771
Once the virus travels through the nerves they rest at the bottom of the spine and first outbreaks can occur anywhere in the sacrum ganglia area, or commonly known as the boxer short area.
Avatar universal
Ok an update on the situation
Day 3 I clipped the hairs in the genital area, including around the scrothum really tight to make sure I would notice anything unusual going on.

Day 5 Was really anxious and was having mild panic attacks, not sleeping, shortness of breath and sweats, was very sweaty down there. Skin on the line of crural fold on right got a little raw with 3/4 tiny spots at the top of crural fold but all had hair growing and disappeared when I stretched the skin- still the same today (day 23, had never looked down there before) (cold sores never appeared and sometimes think they are coming again so presume that is my mind playing tricks)

Day 17 Went to the doc and had gonn and chlam urine tests, both negetive, a physical examination of the area (crural fold issue was still the same, spots the same) and he said there was no way it was herpes and no need to swab the area. He said it looked like a mild fungal infection in crural fold and that over half the men he sees have them and it doesn't bother them or they dont notice it without inspection.

Day 19 Crural fold got very raw on other side, I clipped hair and changed boxers morning and night and it was gone by day 21. Had no bumps or holes or spots - just a line of smooth raw skin

Day 23 noticed a bile or big spot on my outer thigh about where my pocket ends, there was a soft head on it which I peeled off and it bled a little. Just a slightly raised pink circle there now (day 25) with a red dot in the middle, never been sore or itchy. It looks like pictures ive seen of ingrown hairs on the net. Rang the doc and described it to him and he said that it doesn't sound anything like herpes and not to worry about it. He said a herpes sore like that would cause an ulcer and that they don't normally happen on the outer thigh, especially for the first time. To be honest I would have thought nothing of it only for my indiscretion...

I'm from Western Europe and we don't testing for herpes antibodies here, just pcr tests on the sores if they appear. The doc said half genital herpes cases here are from hsv1 and that I already have that antibody if I had cold sores, I've never been tested for it before and he said that here they advise against the antibody test.

I have occasional general itching down there but only when I'm thinking about it...

So where does that leave me?
Do any of the above sound like symptoms of genital herpes?
Do you agree with my doctor?
Am going back for bloods for HIV, hep and syphillis in a few weeks. I contacted the girl in question and told her my situation and she said that she doesn't have anything and that I don't need to be tested for anything, that she doesn't sleep around etc etc
Avatar universal
The chances of a herpes infection remain negligible. The day 23 spot is unrelated. I do overall agree with doctor, but it is still your right in my view to request the test if you feel you need the confirmation. Your overall STD testing is a wise precaution.

Most men and women claim they have nothing, ignore that.
Avatar universal
Is the day 23 spot/boil not related because of its position or its description?

I don't know how long the day 23 thing was there as I wasn't checking the outsides of my legs, but it was like a "ripe" spot/boil ready to picked by day 23.

If I was single I would have no worries about myself given the doctors advice, it's just that I'm in a relationship and made a mistake and I don't want to give anything to my partner
Avatar universal
Both aspects, the description is not really herpes and the location is too far from the possible infection site for a day 23 appearance.

You have a valid concern to test for IgG antibodies in the protection of your partner. The probability is very remote of herpes here, but I imagine you are keen to eliminate any possibility.
Avatar universal
Would u agree with my doc in relation to the raw skin in the crural fold?
Avatar universal
Ok I may be trying to convince myself I have herpes but why is my risk negligible or so low?

My symptoms
1.Raw skin down both crural folds, not sore or itchy, hadn't noticed it before but had never looked, was extra sweaty down there due to anxiety and warm weather. Doc looked at it and said it definitely wasn't herpes and no need to test, but I've read on here that this is commonly mistaken and could be an initial outbreak? Is it mistaken by people or by doctors?

2. I was also short of breath, had hot sweats, sore throat and a slight headache for a few days. I'm wondering is this a herpes symptom or is it due to the fact that I hardly slept or ate for days due to anxiety when I started reading up about herpes?

3. Spot on outer thigh about where my boxer shorts end, looks like pictures of ingrown hair that u see on the Internet, I've read that these are often ignored and may be herpes symptoms?? Don't know when it appeared but I noticed it at 23 days. With a ripe raised head on it and a pink circular base, now on day 25 it is just a slightly raised pink lump with a red dot in the middle as a scab, like a picked spot on your face....

With these 3 symptoms should I be worried, even though doc said not to be and no need for testing?

Just seems to coincidental and with most people missing there symptoms...
Avatar universal
Anxiety is a crazy thing. Men who stray from a woman they do love for instant gratification of ego and genitals put themselves into terrible internal conflict, stress and anxiety. This stress on the body weakens immune systems, changes the diet to more comfort foods, disrupts health and exercise routines. And now you look at yourself more critically. Things that cam and went without a second thought now seemingly take on monstrous forms.

The most common symptom of a herpes infection is NO symptoms. This is a key reason why people do not know they are infected. Another common reason is as they are not stressed or even contemplating herpes, the symptoms are very mild yet typical but unnoticed.

Nothing you describe is typical of herpes or suggests you have an elevated chance of being infected. This however doesn't alter the fact that there was a very small risk to begin with that only a blood test after 12 to 16 weeks can give you confidence that the outcome for you was no infection.

A lot of people take symptoms, put them in a 'box' and label it HSV. For anything that is in that box, there is pretty much nothing you can do about it, the virus is there for life, things are very likely to get better, but you'll never change it this side of a cure or vaccine. Why put any symptom is such a box labelled HSV if you have no firm evidence to do so?
Avatar universal
Thank u for ur comment, anxiety really is a killer, sometimes u think ur fine, then u go online and u convince urself ur infected again...

just a final question, if u were to put a rough numerical value on my risk what would it be considering her unknown status (said she has no infections but I know that isn't reliable) from this one off indiscretion?

Roughly 1 in 100 or less?

Is it possible that myself and my partner already have herpes as we were never tested for it and may have missed the symptoms or not had any?
Avatar universal
You're only going to add to your anxiety if you focus on how many zeros are next to the decimal point. It is all meaningless now. Maybe the odds are of some use before you throw the dice, but not after. What is done is done; the outcome is the outcome; there are now only absolutes, no odds. You have have what you have, your partner has what they have.

The real question is what comfort do you need to believe that you are not infected? For some people, no sores in 2 weeks after the event is enough, others want blood testing at 16 weeks. What do you need to convince you that you aren't infected?
Avatar universal
Ok, latest update, visited d doc again on 29 days, still had big pimple on outer thigh although it was healing, he said it was only a pimple or ingrown hair and not to worry about it, there is still a mark there today with a hair growing out of it so not worried about that now

Today is day 59 post possible exposure

I still have mild rash in both crural folds and skin occasionally peels down very low down there, appearance hasn't changed higher up crural fold on right hand side, still 2/3 small red spots with hair growing out of them. Is it less likely this is herpes related as it hasn't really changed since day 4. It occasionally gets itchy down both sides especially on the right hand side, I'm not sure am I being irrational or not but I worry when it itches that it might be an outbreak and become very aware down there

I also shaved around the base of the penis with an electric razor and nicked myself once or twice but these cleared up, however the fold of skin around the base of my penis from the scrothum on the right around the to the scrothum on the left became very sensitive and the stubble hair was irritating it and it became a little itchy, no sores or spots. However what concerned me was a tiny bit of skin peeled and if i really stretched the skin around there and looked at it in sunlight I could see where v small amounts of skin peeled, I think mostly around the root of pubic hair but there is so many down there that it is hard to know. I could see it after an hour or two and it looks normal now...

This and the slight itching are the things that concern me. I only have the itching when I'm on my own thinking about it.

When I start to worry about it I get a tight throat and it gets sore sometimes, I'm not sure if it coincides with any of my other "symptoms"

I'm not sure am I right to be worrying about these symptoms or am I being irrational?

Are these herpes symptoms?
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