I was diagnosed with HSV-2 genitally in December 2012. I read a good portion of your book (thank you for writing it!) and was committed to not putting future partners at risk without them knowing it. This past weekend, though, I fooled around with a girl and am unsure as to whether or not I put her at risk.
Again, I know I have HSV-2 genitally, but I am unsure whether or not I have it orally as well (that is possible, right?). Because I thought I knew how to avoid putting her at risk and still have light fun, I did not tell her about my diagnosis. Admittedly, I also think I got caught up in the excitement and acted impulsively. Our sexual encounter was very light, but I'm still worried I put her at risk and want to tell her if I did.
Here's what we did: she was lying on top of me masturbating. I kept my boxers on but my pants and shirt were off. The skin in our genital regions made contact, however, and that is what I am worried about. This probably went on for about 20 minutes. At one point, I got very caught up in the moment and sucked, licked, and lightly bit her bottom for about a minute or so. I was 3 days into acyclovir treatment and had almost no visible symptoms.
This was all we did. At no point did my naked penis make contact with any part of her body, but my genital region did; my boxers were riding up a little and she was partially, lightly laying on my leg as she masturbated.
I want to tell her if there is any risk at all that I gave her herpes. Do you think I put her at any risk?
Also: when it comes to oral HSV-2 (again, assuming genital and oral HSV-2 can co-occur), is there a way I can get tested for it? I have never seen clear symptoms, but I have seen, maybe once, what I worried was a herpes lesion on my gums. But mouths are funny and canker sores, gingivities, pimples etc. happen to all of them.
You have no risk for infecting your partner through your actions. Period.
Oral HSV 2 is not a common situation that we know about. What we do know is that if people do have oral HSV 2, they shed virus infrequently, for the healthy person, about 3 days out of the year. I'm not concerned about your oral contact with her buttocks, no, not at all.
You can tell her she was not at all at risk from your herpes.
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