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Discordant couple
I am new to this board and so glad to have found it. I am a 48 year old female, and the uninfected partner in a discordant marriage. I have been with my husband for 3 years and married for 2. He contracted herpes a couple years before we met. I did not know he had this disease until he had his first outbreak, several months into the relationship. At that time, and on subsequent occasions, we discussed steps for reducing my risk. However, he is unwilling to wear a condom ("I can't climax") or take a prophylactic ("too expensive/don't want to take a pill every day"). We have no contact during his outbreaks, however I have never been comfortable with this plan. My anxiety has been increasing, as I feel I can only dodge this bullet so long. My blood work last week indicates I have not contracted the disease. I have had shingles and recurrent herpes zoster outbreaks on my eyelid. Both were very painful, and I do not wish to add genital herpes to my experience. My questions are: 1. What is the risk of contracting herpes over the long term? I understand the m to f transmission is 10%/year, but how does that translate to multiple years (50% in 5 years?)? 2. Just how bad is this disease? Hubby says "It's not that bad", and for him it doesn't seem to be. But, isn't it generally more serious in women? 3. I understand HSV2 is considered a co-conspirator in cervical cancer for women with HPV. I had a positive HPV dna test in 2008 and a negative result in 2009. I don't know where this leaves me in terms of cervical cancer risk, and if this is another reason I should take additional steps to avoid herpes. Thank you.
if you two did nothing but avoid sex anytime he has obvious genital symptoms ( as you do now ), you are 90-92% likely each year NOT to contract hsv2 from him. If he takes daily suppressive therapy , it's reduced to 95-96% likelihood each year to NOT contract hsv2 from him. Even without insurance he can take daily suppressive therapy with generic acyclovir for under $20/month. You can call your insurance if you have it to see what the price of acyclovir 400mg , 60 tablets would be per month as well as ask what valtrex 500mg, 30 tablets would be. Also many insurance plans make it cheaper to get 3 months worth of medication at a time so don't hesitate to ask those prices too ( I gave you the 1 month amounts ). The risk of transmission doesn't multiple each year you are together so it won't be 50% in 5 years or anything like that. Each year it's a clean slate and starts over again. make sense?
we don't have many studies on hpv and hsv2 coinfection. What few we do were in small samples but do show that having hsv2 can make clearing high risk hpv harder. your cervical cancer risk is very low if your hpv can't be detected at this point.
You also can use female condoms to lower your risk of contracting hsv2 from your partner too. he doesn't have to maintain an erection to use one like he does with a male condom.
keep asking questions!!!
grace
we don't have many studies on hpv and hsv2 coinfection. What few we do were in small samples but do show that having hsv2 can make clearing high risk hpv harder. your cervical cancer risk is very low if your hpv can't be detected at this point.
You also can use female condoms to lower your risk of contracting hsv2 from your partner too. he doesn't have to maintain an erection to use one like he does with a male condom.
keep asking questions!!!
grace
Thank you grace for the great information. It's very helpful to know how to interpret those risk statistics. We have excellent insurance, so cost is not a factor, so I'm not sure why he even says this. There must be something else going on. I never thought of a female condom, and I love the idea. I think I'll pick some up and give it a try!
also do you get lesion cultures of the shingles recurrences on your face or just visual diagnosis?
oh ok. if you should get them again, getting them cultured is the best idea. shingles rarely reoccurs so just a visual diagnosis wasn't the best medicine.
So were the outbreaks around my eye in my 20s considered shingles? The event I referred to as 'shingles' in my original post occurred last year around my midsection.
herpes zoster is shingles. it's not likely you had zoster ob's on the eyelid before and now again on the abdomen. if you should get a recurrence in either location, make them culture it and prove it's shingles - a visual diagnosis doesn't cut it.
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Herpes spreads by oral, vaginal and anal sex.
Herpes sores blister, then burst, scab and heal.
STIs are the most common cause of genital sores.
Millions of people are diagnosed with STDs in the U.S. each year.
STDs can't be transmitted by casual contact, like hugging or touching.
Syphilis is an STD that is transmitted by oral, genital and anal sex.
