Aa
Educate a Gentleman!
Hello all... I recently started dating a girl that informed me she has recurring "cold sores", recurring approx. once every year. Of course she informs me of this with NO active blister and after she performed oral sex on me. I began to panic a bit b/c I know that Cold Sores are a form of Oral Herpes...HSV1. Instead of running for the door I really wish to become educated on this topic since cold sores seem so common; although I have not had one in recent memory... ever!
SO here it goes... this is my attempt to reassure the research and reading I have done this past week...please advise!
First Cold Sores do seem common... and I have read anywhere from 70%-80% of people, most frequently women, get cold sores. It is NOT an STD... which I have to tell myself constantly. The fact that I have not had one in recent memory probably has more to do with my immune system being stronger... and if I go off percentages there is a great chance I have the virus chilling in my facial nerves now, just latent?
Second HSV1 cannot transform into HSV2... which is the strain that resides in your spinal fluid and causes recurrent genital herpes; however..... and here is where I really need the advise:
You can get HSV1 genital sores that will only affect you once or twice with good medication, this is because the HSV1 is not in its normal site i.e. the facial nerves? If you get HSV1 genital sores (which also seems rare) you do not have GENITAL HERPES HSV2? Here is where I need advice
Bottom line NO oral sex if she has an outbreak! NO kissing either? Even if there was something that occurred "downstairs" HSV1 will not affect you in the same way as HSV2? ... can they determine which kind you have, can they tell the difference due to symptoms? Even if it happens once and it is through HSV1 do you have Genital Herpes! Very confused with this...
Am I being too paranoid here... I want to continue dating this girl and I really want to be educated gentleman and not an ignorant kid! Any help you can give would be greatly appreciated
THANKS!
SO here it goes... this is my attempt to reassure the research and reading I have done this past week...please advise!
First Cold Sores do seem common... and I have read anywhere from 70%-80% of people, most frequently women, get cold sores. It is NOT an STD... which I have to tell myself constantly. The fact that I have not had one in recent memory probably has more to do with my immune system being stronger... and if I go off percentages there is a great chance I have the virus chilling in my facial nerves now, just latent?
Second HSV1 cannot transform into HSV2... which is the strain that resides in your spinal fluid and causes recurrent genital herpes; however..... and here is where I really need the advise:
You can get HSV1 genital sores that will only affect you once or twice with good medication, this is because the HSV1 is not in its normal site i.e. the facial nerves? If you get HSV1 genital sores (which also seems rare) you do not have GENITAL HERPES HSV2? Here is where I need advice
Bottom line NO oral sex if she has an outbreak! NO kissing either? Even if there was something that occurred "downstairs" HSV1 will not affect you in the same way as HSV2? ... can they determine which kind you have, can they tell the difference due to symptoms? Even if it happens once and it is through HSV1 do you have Genital Herpes! Very confused with this...
Am I being too paranoid here... I want to continue dating this girl and I really want to be educated gentleman and not an ignorant kid! Any help you can give would be greatly appreciated
THANKS!
Oh yeah, I forgot to clarify.
The frequency of outbreaks for either HSV1 or 2, depends on the person. One person who has Type 1 virus, may only get it once in a while, while others may get it more often. It depends on your immune system. It depends on how long you have had the virus, and it depends on the amount of antibodies you have to defend against the virus.
Also, note that the virus lays dormant in your spinal cord tissue. And what is your spinal cord? Remember that it is part of your nervous system. So, if you are more stressed out than other people, you can cause an outbreak for yourself. Also, the virus can be brought out by the sun, as well.
I can get more Type 2 virus outbreaks in the summer, because it is hot outside, and causes sweating and more friction as compared to the winter season, and being less active.
Also, if you are a smoker, you increase your outbreaks, as well as if you are a drug user, because they break down your immune system and you will see more frequent outbreaks.
Remember to eat well, and get plenty of rest for your body to be able to heal.
The frequency of outbreaks for either HSV1 or 2, depends on the person. One person who has Type 1 virus, may only get it once in a while, while others may get it more often. It depends on your immune system. It depends on how long you have had the virus, and it depends on the amount of antibodies you have to defend against the virus.
Also, note that the virus lays dormant in your spinal cord tissue. And what is your spinal cord? Remember that it is part of your nervous system. So, if you are more stressed out than other people, you can cause an outbreak for yourself. Also, the virus can be brought out by the sun, as well.
I can get more Type 2 virus outbreaks in the summer, because it is hot outside, and causes sweating and more friction as compared to the winter season, and being less active.
Also, if you are a smoker, you increase your outbreaks, as well as if you are a drug user, because they break down your immune system and you will see more frequent outbreaks.
Remember to eat well, and get plenty of rest for your body to be able to heal.
You can get tested for both HSV1 & 2 by blood test. Though, of what I learned, it is easier to determine what type of virus you have by ways of the doctor actually swabbing the outbreak with a cute tip, and sending it to the lab, but blood test also works. They check your antibodies for the virus.
The more antibodies you have, the longer you have had the virus in your system. The less antibodies you have, the shorter time you have had the virus. After time, any virus your body gets, your body's defense is making the antibodies to defend itself.
The more antibodies, the better against the virus. That is why when people first get the virus, it is usually the worst of all outbreaks, and then over time, as your body deals with the virus, it makes more and more antibodies to help defend your body of which then, your outbreaks are less frequent, and less painful.
Also of what I have experienced, when I first contracted the HSV2 virus, my lymph nodes in my groin were very swollen. That was my first indicator, before I even had an outbreak. It actually perplexed my gynocologist. I had to go in for a series of tests to determine why my lymph nodes were swollen. It was a very scarey situation for me, because they thought I had Hodgkin's Disease, AIDS, or Lymphoma disease. Remember that lymph nodes help your body fight disease, and when they hurt, or are enlarged, it is because they are trying to fight whatever virus your body contracted. It is normal for your lymph nodes to do this. That is why we have these wonderful nodes! They help fight against any disease, or virus!
Anyways, the doctors had to do a biopsy on my lymph nodes and I had to under-go an MRI. It was horrible! Finally, after all that ordeal, the doctors still did not find anything wrong with me.
And it wasn't until I had done some research on my own, I had asked my doctor to give me a blood test for HSV2. YOU CANNOT ASSUME THAT YOUR DOCTOR WILL DO THIS TEST. You have to ask SPECIFICALLY for the test of HSV1 & 2. You cannot just say, "test me for all STD's." Because when I had requested before, the doctor made the mistake of NOT writing it on the lab request paper, and I did not have to go thru all that ordeal.
Just some advise and helpful information.
Hope it helps. Of course, I know that this discussion is about HSV1, but I thought you would like to know some of the other symptoms associated with the virus. Enlarged or swollen lymph nodes in the area of infection is a key factor. On lips, I have experienced swollen & painful glands on neck, like when you have a sore throat.
The more antibodies you have, the longer you have had the virus in your system. The less antibodies you have, the shorter time you have had the virus. After time, any virus your body gets, your body's defense is making the antibodies to defend itself.
The more antibodies, the better against the virus. That is why when people first get the virus, it is usually the worst of all outbreaks, and then over time, as your body deals with the virus, it makes more and more antibodies to help defend your body of which then, your outbreaks are less frequent, and less painful.
Also of what I have experienced, when I first contracted the HSV2 virus, my lymph nodes in my groin were very swollen. That was my first indicator, before I even had an outbreak. It actually perplexed my gynocologist. I had to go in for a series of tests to determine why my lymph nodes were swollen. It was a very scarey situation for me, because they thought I had Hodgkin's Disease, AIDS, or Lymphoma disease. Remember that lymph nodes help your body fight disease, and when they hurt, or are enlarged, it is because they are trying to fight whatever virus your body contracted. It is normal for your lymph nodes to do this. That is why we have these wonderful nodes! They help fight against any disease, or virus!
Anyways, the doctors had to do a biopsy on my lymph nodes and I had to under-go an MRI. It was horrible! Finally, after all that ordeal, the doctors still did not find anything wrong with me.
And it wasn't until I had done some research on my own, I had asked my doctor to give me a blood test for HSV2. YOU CANNOT ASSUME THAT YOUR DOCTOR WILL DO THIS TEST. You have to ask SPECIFICALLY for the test of HSV1 & 2. You cannot just say, "test me for all STD's." Because when I had requested before, the doctor made the mistake of NOT writing it on the lab request paper, and I did not have to go thru all that ordeal.
Just some advise and helpful information.
Hope it helps. Of course, I know that this discussion is about HSV1, but I thought you would like to know some of the other symptoms associated with the virus. Enlarged or swollen lymph nodes in the area of infection is a key factor. On lips, I have experienced swollen & painful glands on neck, like when you have a sore throat.
so to sum this up
you can get this from 70% of any woman you date
the chances of transmitting HSV1 to genitals is slim to none
the infection is easily treatable and usually equivent to a rash
So either live life in a bubble, latex yourself madness, or get some good oral (ill take my chances with this one)
you can get this from 70% of any woman you date
the chances of transmitting HSV1 to genitals is slim to none
the infection is easily treatable and usually equivent to a rash
So either live life in a bubble, latex yourself madness, or get some good oral (ill take my chances with this one)
If I may speak kind of as a guy to guy type deal.
The true question you have to ask yourself is what is it worth to you? While HSV is a lifelong virus and it will be there its completely manageble. You will go on with life and be just fine as many people here have done. Yes, you can find someone who is herpes free and not have to worry about it. Sure you can go on looking. But the question is what if this is your "one"? You know what I mean? Accepting someone for who they are is what I think needs to be important and not what they have. Life is not defined by a diease its defined by a personality and by who a person is.
I would seek more or less like has been suggested you learning your own status first. Who knows maybe you have HSV1 already. You just don't know until you get checked first of all. Secondly my advice (again man to man) is to consider the relationship. Where are you going with this? Is this going to be someone you will be happy with? If you are not sure give her a chance. Hold off on the sex and watch the kissing when coldsores are present. Precaution is always a key here. Things can be avoided. But until you know where things are going and you are ready to take that risk then hold off on the sex and get to know her better outside of the bedroom.
Speaking from someone who was possibly expoused I can tell you that even I would date someone who told me that they had HSV regardless of it. I am dating the person not a diease. Shes not a leaper or HIV positive. She got herpes oh well a skin condition. No biggie... Move on with life. If I am scared I will make the steps to hold off on anything that can put me at risk. Be glad she told you. It took some powerful stregth to tell you. You could be like me and just had the event and never known and now be questioning if you have it or if you don't. Informed decisions can lead to safe and good life.
The true question you have to ask yourself is what is it worth to you? While HSV is a lifelong virus and it will be there its completely manageble. You will go on with life and be just fine as many people here have done. Yes, you can find someone who is herpes free and not have to worry about it. Sure you can go on looking. But the question is what if this is your "one"? You know what I mean? Accepting someone for who they are is what I think needs to be important and not what they have. Life is not defined by a diease its defined by a personality and by who a person is.
I would seek more or less like has been suggested you learning your own status first. Who knows maybe you have HSV1 already. You just don't know until you get checked first of all. Secondly my advice (again man to man) is to consider the relationship. Where are you going with this? Is this going to be someone you will be happy with? If you are not sure give her a chance. Hold off on the sex and watch the kissing when coldsores are present. Precaution is always a key here. Things can be avoided. But until you know where things are going and you are ready to take that risk then hold off on the sex and get to know her better outside of the bedroom.
Speaking from someone who was possibly expoused I can tell you that even I would date someone who told me that they had HSV regardless of it. I am dating the person not a diease. Shes not a leaper or HIV positive. She got herpes oh well a skin condition. No biggie... Move on with life. If I am scared I will make the steps to hold off on anything that can put me at risk. Be glad she told you. It took some powerful stregth to tell you. You could be like me and just had the event and never known and now be questioning if you have it or if you don't. Informed decisions can lead to safe and good life.
Yea it is amazing_ I have had so many different opinions and reactions to this question. So much misinformation its wild!!! &from trained Medical Professionals! Guess I have to accept that this virus is not an exact science. If I cannot move forward with this relationship then perhaps I have some internal issues to look@... Still torn with the decision to come =(
Genital HSV1 is not rare at all. 1/3 all new genital herpes diagnosis are HSV1. And amongst the college-aged crowd, it's much higher - over half. People have oral herpes, and people have oral sex - put the two together and voila.
HSV2 sheds more and causes more OBs, statistically. HSV1 doesn't "like" the genital area as much, so it causes less shedding and fewer OBs in comparison.
Your doctor is wrong, plain and simple. Genital HSV1 can cause recurring OBs - I can vouch for that, as can others on this forum. And I don't even know if I have oral herpes, as I've never had a cold sore. Many folks who acquire genital HSV1 also acquire it orally at the same time; some don't.
Statistically genital HSV1 OBs occur infrequently - maybe 1 or two the first year, then perhaps 1 every other year. Really it depends on your own body, just as it does with anyone who has either herpes on either location.
Even if you have oral HSV1, you may or may not have frequent OBs. As I said, my partner has oral HSV1, and in the six years I've known him, he's never had a cold sore. Yet my coworker who also has oral HSV1, she gets 3 or 4 cold sores a year. It just varies, plain and simple. Same with genital herpes.
HSV2 sheds more and causes more OBs, statistically. HSV1 doesn't "like" the genital area as much, so it causes less shedding and fewer OBs in comparison.
Your doctor is wrong, plain and simple. Genital HSV1 can cause recurring OBs - I can vouch for that, as can others on this forum. And I don't even know if I have oral herpes, as I've never had a cold sore. Many folks who acquire genital HSV1 also acquire it orally at the same time; some don't.
Statistically genital HSV1 OBs occur infrequently - maybe 1 or two the first year, then perhaps 1 every other year. Really it depends on your own body, just as it does with anyone who has either herpes on either location.
Even if you have oral HSV1, you may or may not have frequent OBs. As I said, my partner has oral HSV1, and in the six years I've known him, he's never had a cold sore. Yet my coworker who also has oral HSV1, she gets 3 or 4 cold sores a year. It just varies, plain and simple. Same with genital herpes.
You both have been great- and maybe I still misunderstand so let's try once more for my sanity! You say you have HSV1 genital still (and I understand herpes in general is a permanent virus)... But this would contradict what my doc said 2day, she said genital HSV1 is rare but if it occurs it won't flare again on my penis after treatment! HSV2 is the recurring kind on your genitals, HSV1 reoccurs on your face. So if she passes HSV1 even to my genitals, being that its HSV1 I would only have ONE flare up "down there" and any recurring flare ups would be on my face! She pretty much assured me, as did my doctor friend that any HSV1 blister on my penis should NEVER come back just bc its HSV1... And if it comes back it will manifest on my face. Is this wrong??? What am I missing?
grace and I both gave this information in prior posts. As well, I suggested two links that are great resources. Not sure why you're even spending so much time on this, quite honestly. Get tested, know your own status, know your partners status, and go from there. I have genital HSV1 and lord knows it doesn't consume me, at all. Aside from posting on this forum, I don't give it a thought! My partner had oral herpes since he was a teen, and he's pushing 50 - I can safely say he doesn't live in fear of some dreaded complication from oral herpes! Many, much more serious health issues out there!
As to blindness, etc., 45+ million folks have herpes. I don't know about you, but I know not a ONE who's been blinded or had eye/vision issues. Yes, it can happen, but it's rare. The hugely vast majority who have oral herpes live their lives with NO serious issues - only pesky cold sores... and some folks don't have any symptoms.
As to blindness, etc., 45+ million folks have herpes. I don't know about you, but I know not a ONE who's been blinded or had eye/vision issues. Yes, it can happen, but it's rare. The hugely vast majority who have oral herpes live their lives with NO serious issues - only pesky cold sores... and some folks don't have any symptoms.
Ok so now I have two opposing opinions in the matter of one hour! Again mis info and I cannot get a guaranteed answer. Now I have a PA and an RN saying HSV1 will affect your penis or genital area as many times as it wants and it will always be on your genital area for life! Why do they even classify the two types if they affect your genitalia the same way!!! Ugghhh so frustrating
Hello again! So I finally went to the doctor to discuss my "issue"... And she said not to worry- seems like there is a ton of misinformation out there. I was just confused. HSV1 is very prevalent 60-90% of people have it and some never have issues... If HSV1 transfers down to your genitals location wise yes I would have genital herpes... Buts its HSV1. The virus shouldn't flare up more than once or twice on your genitals after its treated properly...even though the virus remains in your system it would reside in your facial nerves- which chances are I already have. HSV2 is not "bad" herpes but traditionally that is the STD and that type stays in your spinal fluid near your sacral bone and constantly flares up. HSV1 has potential to flare up genital speaking but it would be rare- 2-5% have flare ups following the first one (this info I got off a national herpes website)- I also spent all night on youtube researching and came across a talk show with a specialist giving info on the subject- a lot of HSV1 genital cases have increased as HSV2 genital cases decrease- simply bc more people are performing oral sex and having protected intercourse. HSV1 can potentially be more dangerous bc it can spread near your eye, ear, etc... So cause blindness but again its treated and the virus shouldn't affect you the same again, ie not on your eyeball just a traditional cold sore on your lip! Or there is a great chance you'll never see another problem. So even if HSV1 is transferred on my genitals in the doctors words the virus is for life but the flare up should be a one and done thing. If it manifests again it should manifest as a cold sore on your lip or face... Bc that's HSV1's home base! This is the 3rd medical professional that has told me this info.... Good advice?
1 out of every 2-3 women you've ever kissed in a lifetime has had hsv1 whether they knew it or not. Have you worried like this about any other partner?
your regular provider can order a type specific test for you. Odds are it will be covered by your insurance. Otherwise you can order it up yourself through www.tstd.org or www.healthcheckusa.com if either of them have a lab near you for about $100.
genital herpes is genital herpes regardless of which type you have. The only reason knowing your type matters is so you can make educated decisions about what precautions to take with a partner.
grace
your regular provider can order a type specific test for you. Odds are it will be covered by your insurance. Otherwise you can order it up yourself through www.tstd.org or www.healthcheckusa.com if either of them have a lab near you for about $100.
genital herpes is genital herpes regardless of which type you have. The only reason knowing your type matters is so you can make educated decisions about what precautions to take with a partner.
grace
Yea not sure what to do with this one :( it sounds like I may never have an issue with her transferring it to me, so many people have HSV1 that my chances of finding a good girl without is slim. I guess my problem is how often it occurs... HSV2 occurs frequently and HSV1 not as much, but is it once a year? One every 10 years? Where and how can I be checked for this virus? I hear it is very costly too!
Going back to an earlier post "petal" said HSV1 is HSV1 period! But if HSV2 has the same symptoms as HSV1 on genitals than either way you have genital herpes? HSV1 will stay on the genitals and recur frequently... Or is it a case of you being exposed again from an oral ulcer? Seems like both are "bad" herpes but HSV1 is widley accepted as common... Sorry guys for being so confused. I appreciate this boards patience with me
Going back to an earlier post "petal" said HSV1 is HSV1 period! But if HSV2 has the same symptoms as HSV1 on genitals than either way you have genital herpes? HSV1 will stay on the genitals and recur frequently... Or is it a case of you being exposed again from an oral ulcer? Seems like both are "bad" herpes but HSV1 is widley accepted as common... Sorry guys for being so confused. I appreciate this boards patience with me
Yes you can transmit hsv1 to the genital area through oral sex. If you are concerned, only receive protected oral sex.
Yes hsv1 genitally does reoccur sometimes though the rates of recurrence in general are very low.
yes they have separate tests for hsv1 and hsv2. If you've never been tested for herpes before, now if the time to do so while its on your mind so you can better figure out your risk in this relationship.
grace
Yes hsv1 genitally does reoccur sometimes though the rates of recurrence in general are very low.
yes they have separate tests for hsv1 and hsv2. If you've never been tested for herpes before, now if the time to do so while its on your mind so you can better figure out your risk in this relationship.
grace
Thank you for your speedy response! Honestly after that I am worried even more:( which can be paranoia... I understand most people have HSV1 orally but the thought of transferring that downstairs is frightening to me! So when someone asks the question- do u have genital herpes I must reply- yes! My friend is a doctor and says it is transferable but kind of a one and done thing once the blister clears down there, it shouldn't pop up again if it is in fact HSV1... Not considered the recurring genital herpes even though its on your genitals??? This is where I am confused. Her doctor says it is not transferable- I believe what they mean by that is the virus will stay HSV1 and not turn into HSV2. I read that most with HSV1 on the genitals only see symptoms again 2-5% of the time? That was on a main herpes info webpage. Due to the fact the virus is outside its normal site, not in the facial nerve. Was this the same for you? If you continue to see symptoms then yes it is a scary thought :( Do they have separate test for HSV1 and HSV2? HSV1 blister on the genital areas mean you have Genital Herpes 100%? Again please forgive my ignorance and I truly appreciate you sharing your experience with me!
Have you ever been tested to know your own herpes status? Don't assume anything.
I have genital HSV1 from my partner performing oral sex on me (he's had oral herpes since he was a teen, we're in out forties now). He never had an OB in the 5 years we were together, but transmitted the virus to me.
HSV1 does not turn in to HSV2 on the genitals. It is HSV1, plain and simple. You can have it orally or genitally, and about 1/3 of all new genital herpes cases are in fact HSV1 (upwards of 70% amongst college-aged folks). HSV1 genitally presents the same as HSV2. Going forward, genital HSV1 tends to shed much less and cause much fewer OBs than HSV2. All of your genital herpes questions can be found in a great resource, the herpes handbook found here: http://www.westoverheights.com/genital_herpes/handbook/view_the_chapters.html
Can't imagine refraining from kissing, quite honestly. Oral sex, yes refrain during an outbreak, and realize there's still a risk with no symptoms. You could use condoms. Remember, most adults have oral herpes, no need to live in fear or paranoia. Should you decide to not continue dating this gal, or the millions of other folks with oral herpes (it's a mere pesky skin condition), you may just live a long lonely life alone. So yes, it sounds like you are paranoid and fearful of something that's really quite common and not a serious, life-threatening illness.
You can read more about oral herpes here: http://www.ashastd.org/herpes/herpes_learn_oralherpes.cfm
I have genital HSV1 from my partner performing oral sex on me (he's had oral herpes since he was a teen, we're in out forties now). He never had an OB in the 5 years we were together, but transmitted the virus to me.
HSV1 does not turn in to HSV2 on the genitals. It is HSV1, plain and simple. You can have it orally or genitally, and about 1/3 of all new genital herpes cases are in fact HSV1 (upwards of 70% amongst college-aged folks). HSV1 genitally presents the same as HSV2. Going forward, genital HSV1 tends to shed much less and cause much fewer OBs than HSV2. All of your genital herpes questions can be found in a great resource, the herpes handbook found here: http://www.westoverheights.com/genital_herpes/handbook/view_the_chapters.html
Can't imagine refraining from kissing, quite honestly. Oral sex, yes refrain during an outbreak, and realize there's still a risk with no symptoms. You could use condoms. Remember, most adults have oral herpes, no need to live in fear or paranoia. Should you decide to not continue dating this gal, or the millions of other folks with oral herpes (it's a mere pesky skin condition), you may just live a long lonely life alone. So yes, it sounds like you are paranoid and fearful of something that's really quite common and not a serious, life-threatening illness.
You can read more about oral herpes here: http://www.ashastd.org/herpes/herpes_learn_oralherpes.cfm
Have an Answer?
You are reading content posted in the Herpes Community
Herpes spreads by oral, vaginal and anal sex.
Herpes sores blister, then burst, scab and heal.
STIs are the most common cause of genital sores.
Millions of people are diagnosed with STDs in the U.S. each year.
STDs can't be transmitted by casual contact, like hugging or touching.
Syphilis is an STD that is transmitted by oral, genital and anal sex.
