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Avatar universal

Genital Herpes - is my life ruined?

Hi, I know this has probably been said many times, but I really need some help and reassurance that my life isn't completely over. I'm an 18 year old girl, and was diagnosed with genital herpes a couple of days ago and I'm in complete shock. I feel so upset and worried that this is going to have a massive impact on the rest of my life and also future partners and sex life. How do you tell somebody you have herpes? Will it put people off? Will I ever have a normal sex life, or is there no hope? And is there anything in particular you can do to stop outbreaks? I feel so upset, and can't stop thinking 'what if I never had sex with that person' . I also feel very upset as I trusted him when he told me he was clear of anything.   I'd really appreciate some advice from somebody who has experienced the virus.. thank you.  
10 Responses
3149845 tn?1506627771
Hi, please tell us about what test you took and any numbers involved. Lets start here.
Avatar universal
Hi. I really don't know, the doctor looked at it and just told me that it was genital herpes, I'm not sure what kind..
3149845 tn?1506627771
Dear please listen to me. Visual is no way to diagnose genital herpes. You need a swab of a sore or a blood test. Im not trying to get your hopes up but ive seen situations like yours before and it turned out not to be herpes.
Avatar universal
really? I've had symptoms such as cold/flu and other symptoms that you get with GH, including the blisters and soreness. As soon as she saw it she said without a doubt that's what it was... what other possibilities are there?
Thank you for your response  
3149845 tn?1506627771
What was your sexual activity the week before the sores showed up and where are the sores and did you have the sores before flu like symptoms?
Avatar universal
I had unprotected vaginal and anal sex a couple of weeks before the sores appeared.. i had cold and flu symptoms about five days before the sores came which I thought was because of a hangover. The sores are just on the inside of my buttocks, however I'm on the third day of medication that you have to take for five days and I think they're slightly better. I am starting to get some pain on the inside of my vulva though, which I'm slightly worried about. In addition to this, the man that I had sex with texted me after we had sex saying it was likely that I had herpes..

I just wish it would go away :(
3149845 tn?1506627771
You really need to have tests to confirm you have herpes. Sores would develop before the flu like symptoms, And you would be more likely to have them in the genital area not the anal and the first outbreak is often  quite painful.
Also if he did not have any genital sores at the time,your risk would be close to zero from a one time affair. If the sores are still there, go back and have them swabbed. also a blood test would be perfect at this time as a positive swab and negative blood test would mean its recent. If the blood test is negative, test at the 8 week mark as a good indicator or 3 months for conclusive.
Avatar universal
it started off with one small spot that developed into around small very small blisters/ red spots.. we saw eachother twice and slept together both times. Although he didnt have any sores, he had two small white skin tags like things on his penis that he said the doctor had confirmed were skin tags, i don't know if that could be related to herpes? I will go and have a swab and a blood test as soon as possible, thank you so much for your advice.  
3149845 tn?1506627771
The problem is taking the antiviral meds could hinder the development of antibodies showing a negative so youd have to stop taking them but do have the swab.
Avatar universal
I really want the sores to go away though.. I think I'll assume that I do have them but go for a swab anyway and if i have another flare up I'll know that that's what it is :/
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