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Avatar universal

Genital hsv 1. What am I dealing with?

Hi All,

So my girlfriend just told me she has genital hsv 1. What am I dealing with here? Should I be concerned?

She referred me to this site if I had any questions and I have been reading up on some information and from the looks of it I shouldnt be concerned as it rarely sheds. How accurate it this?

I am a little concerned because the forums also state that there is a risk but its highly unlikely to spread from genital to genital but what about oral? Am I at risk for catching it orally?

I have been tested previously and am negative for both types of hsv. I always make sure I am tested for everything. I really love this girl and have know her since freshman year in college she is 23 and I am 26. I care about her so much but I'm not sure i want to contract this although she definitely defines and has everytihng I want in a woman. Can someone tell me what genital hsv 1 is and what it does to the body? Am I safe to have unprotected sex with her? We have always used condoms but after shes told me I've been a little less spontaneous in fear that I might contract her hsv 1.

I really dont want her to feel like Im pushing her away but its hard not to feel scared about this.

Is it really just a skin condition?
How come I have not acquired this yet? I have dated a handful of women and none have told me about any type of hsv 1. My gf said everyone has it in the form of cold sores on their mouths but to my knowledge I have not seen anyone with cold sores.

Can someone shed some light as I am very concerned and do not want to leave her without knowing the facts or what I will be dealing with.
96 Responses
101028 tn?1419606604
statistically 1 out of every 2-3 people you know has hsv1. It's incredibly common and this certainly isn't the first person you've ever been with who has it.  In your age group, 70% of all newly acquired genital herpes infections are due to hsv1 too.

so what do you do? Well of course make sure other std bases are covered too, including both of you having had your gardasil shot series too. Talk about birth control and condom use too.

are you likely to contract hsv1 from her? no you are not. Usually just avoiding sex any time she has anything going on genitally is all it takes. It can be transmitted from genitals to genitals but the risk of such is very low. it's also not more likely to be transmitted to your mouth through you performing oral sex, it doesn't shed much so the risk of transmission to any body part is overall very low.

keep asking questions!

grace
Avatar universal
So am I safe to stay in the relationship with her? What if I contract this will it be painful? Im willing to risk it but then I think about it and I think Im crazy. My parents nor my grandparents or anyone in my family has hsv 1 from what I know. None of my friends have it so how common is that or are they just nto telling me anything?

Is hsv oral the same hasv hsv 1 genital just that the location is different. When she told me she got cold sores I said fine whatever but then when she said its herpes I was a little bent out about it.
1 Comments
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101028 tn?1419606604
you were more likely to have contracted hsv1 orally from a care giver as a child than you are to contract your partners hsv1 genital infection.   it's not being crazy to be in a relationship with someone who knows they have herpes!!

it's more about your genes if you are from a family that no one seems to get cold sores. It doesn't mean no one has hsv1 orally, it means you can thank mom and dad for something good about their gene pool - the gene that makes you less likely to get obvious cold sores if you contract hsv1 orally :)    
Avatar universal
That sounds great! One last question (I think) I like having sex and since I've known her she also likes to have sex. She contracted hsv 1 from her ex who didnt tell her he had cold sores. How spontaneous can we be in the bedroom? I dont want to hold back because I like being very affectionate and get into the whole oral, anal, vaginal thing. (sorry for being so graphic) but how safe am I to do that? I dont want to spread her hsv 1 to her anal area because I can only imagine how painful that would be. But how does this work?

Lets say if I did have hsv 1 oraly and I gave her oral sex am I infecting her with even more of the virus? or once she has it she has it she cant get mroe now it wont replicate?
101028 tn?1419606604
you can do anything you want in the bedroom as well as in the living room and even outdoors as long as you aren't breaking any laws.  also remember to put away the sex swing if mom and dad are coming to visit   ;)   the only changes in your sex life would be if she has anything going on genitally, avoid sex until things are back to normal :)

you wouldn't spread hsv1 to her anal area - it's already there. when she was infected with genital herpes, it infected the entire sacral nerve ganglia which supplies are nerve function from the waist down.  When she sheds the virus, it sheds from the entire urogenital/anal area already.  

if you do have hsv1 orally and aren't testing accurately on the igg blood tests for it, you won't make things "worse" for her by performing oral sex on her. she can't get "worse" what she already has.
Avatar universal
haha I love that! Thanks so much Grace! I guess my fear was that Im dating someone that has an STD but I really care for this girl and have even told her that I see her as the mother of my kids :) Shes a great catch and it was very unfortunate for her to get this but shes strong and is dealing with it.

Since this doesnt have any long term effects on her body? no diformities or anything How will she do in child birth? Will she be under medication? Will the doctors know how to test this? (Im sorry I know I said that was my last question but you are mankign me feel very at ease making the next move with her)
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