HSV 1 Potential Genital/Oral Symptoms

[1234Blue1234]

Hi. I have had 1 sexual partner for 30 years.  Never had oral sex with him or in my life until my new partner. In the last 5 months, I have had another one (monogamous both times).   This partner is married and had 1 partner 2 months before me, and several as a teenager.  I don't know his HSV1 or 2 status.  He said he doesn't get cold sores.  After first sexual encounter with new partner (unprotected) 1 week later experienced abnormal feeling on vagina and slight burning when pee.  No sores, very minor irritation.  Figured, I was just paranoid and didn't think much of it.  Kissed my gf on lips (a peck) 24 hours later experienced swelling and soreness on my lips 10 minutes after vigorously kissing a friend.  Went to dr. Valtrex 1 day, swelling and everything disappeared.  He gave me antihistamine too.  He said he didn't know what it was.  5 days later new partner kissed me and performed oral sex on me and me to him.  10 days later experienced that same irritation as the first time (no burning when peeing though).  I thought...ugh paranoid....guilty about the affair.  But we had sex for 2 hours (and I mean, 2 hours of consistent penetration and oral sex).  He ejaculated in me several times and oral sex in my anal and vaginal area.  During sex I had lower abdominal pain and burning inside vagina.  I had him stop.  He continued to stimulate me with his finger on my clitoris.  I have no sores, but have been swabbed with vaginal fluid negative and some sores which didn't look like herpes and negative.  Blood test after 10 weeks negative.  I don't know my partner's HSV1 status.  What do I do now?  I have constant pain in vaginal area and legs all the way down to feet, tingling in btw thighs, no swollen lymph nodes, no flu like, just tired, but could be due to stress.  What do you suggest go forward.  I really want to have sex with my new partner and scared to infect my old partner.  Please help.

[Terri Warren, RN, Adult Nurse Practitioner]

No, you don't get herpes from a peck on the check from someone who has oral herpes.  And no, it wouldn't show up within 24 hours if it was herpes.  Isn't the new partner negative for HSV 1?  

I don't know what you mean should you abstain for four months?  From sex? With the partner you think you got this from?  

This discussion if a little disconcerting to me.  You've so ignored all the facts to go with emotion.  This is your life and I have a feeling that you'll believe what you want to believe, regardless of the facts.  But let's not continue to have this conversation on the board.  

I'm done here.

Terri

[1234Blue1234]

Yes. I guess. Everyone thinks I am crazy that I am not believing  negative swabs and blood tests.  But I still have various symptoms on and off. So I worry.  Do people normally abstain for full 4 months?

If I use protection, can he get hsv1.

Also can I catch a cold sore within 24 hours of exposure? Bc that's how I think I got oral hsv1. If u can't catch within 24 hours then I think I got it from new partner.

[Terri Warren, RN, Adult Nurse Practitioner]

I know we've been taking about this on another post just a few days ago.  I'm not sure what more I can add that I haven't already said to you.  If you are asking me do I think you can have with the new partner with a clear conscience that you have done everything you can to find out if you have herpes?  If you have waited 16 weeks from any encounter which could have exposed you to herpes to test for herpes antibody and you are still negative, then I think you have done everything you can to find out if you have herpes and can have sex with the new partner knowing you have done all you could.  Is that what you are asking me?

Terri

[1234Blue1234]

Also, my new partner was exposed to my primary infection (I believe) both via oral sex, kissing, and vaginal sex.  He hasn't experienced any symptoms.  I am scared to have sex with him b/c maybe I got it some flukey way (my gf had a cold sore 24 hours after the peck).  Don't feel like I can ask him to do blood work b/c he thinks I'm OCD and I've done so many negative tests.  But why so much burning and leg pain and anal pain which seems to get irritated when stressed and flares up.  I have had these constant symptoms wiht various degrees of intensity for 2 months (no reprieve).  I really want to have sex with him.  He knows the situation. All other STD tests negtive, BV negative.  Dr thinks irritation from new partner and body is getting used to new partner.  Can I have protected sex with him ethically?