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HSV-1 transmission to partner's genitals (man to women)

So last night my gf was over and we are in a monogamous relationship. Last night we hooked up and we were kissing a lot and I gave her oral sex. About an hour or 2 after I felt like I had an ingrown hair on my upper lip and didnt think anything of it cause usually when I get cold sores which is infrequent i get it on my lower lip. Anyways I go to sleep and wake up this morning seing 2 small vesicles. I am freaking out cause I would not be able to live with myself if I gave her genital herpes.

My 2 questions is if i didnt have vesicles how likely is it that I gave her oral or genital herpes? And would it be more likely for her to get a cold sore or genital herpes? Thanks for your help in advance
Best Answer
207091 tn?1337709493
Have you all talked about this? Does she know you have it? Does she have it?

If she has it, her chances of getting it from you genitally are next to zero. She would just need to avoid getting oral sex from you when you have symptoms.

If she does not, she can get it from you with or without symptoms.

The chances are higher with symptoms - much higher - but it is possible without. There is something called asymptomatic shedding when the virus is active on the skin but we don't see it or feel it. It is infectious at this time.

Hsv1 hasn't been studied like hsv2 has, so we don't know transmission rates like we do with hsv2.

If she knows you have it, and is making an informed decision to be with you, then stop worrying so much. We know that ghsv1 is common, but when it happens, ir recurs less frequently, and sheds less frequently, and very rarely transmits.

You say, "I would not be able to live with myself if I gave her genital herpes.". Please understand that this is a huge overreaction. This is based on stigma, not reality.

Your gf can get a type specific IgG test from her doctor or from any number of online sites to find out if she has hsv1.

https://www.stdcheck.com/herpes-1-test.php - can nest for just hsv1 or hsv2, or both

https://www.letsgetchecked.com/home-herpes-test/ - must test for hsv1 and hsv2

https://www.healthlabs.com/herpes-tests - can nest for just hsv1 or hsv2, or both

https://www.ultalabtests.com/partners/ultdirect/testing/categories/std/herpes - can nest for just hsv1 or hsv2, or both - do not get the IgM test

All the sites run specials at different times. Google for coupon codes, too.

She has never had a cold sore or genital herpes. So i feel like she probaby doesnt have hsv-1. I know it is a huge overreaction. I am a medical student and I understand its my head more than anything. I also do understand its a more of a societal stigma that im stressed about. We come from religious upbringings

This line makes me feel better, "We know that ghsv1 is common, but when it happens, ir recurs less frequently, and sheds less frequently, and very rarely transmits"

I know hsv-1 hasnt been studied as much as hsv-2 but if she has never had a cold sore do you think it would be more likely that if i did transmit HSV-1 to her that it would be oral herpes or genital?

Really appreciate your helpa and understanding!
I havent been able to talk to her yet cause shes at work. Plan on calling her after.

I know that asymptomatic shedding can happen but the odds are low. I also know that it is most contagious when the vesicles are there and open and releasing fluid. I did not have vesicles let alone seeping of the vesicles when we hooked up last night.
Also if i may add I am studying for my boards and have been under a lot of stress so i know im coming off as stressed hypochondriac
Probably 90% of those who have oral hsv1 never get symptoms, so they don't know they have it unless they test. 50% of those under 50 in the US have hsv1, and 67% globally do.

You don't sound like a hypochondriac - stressed, for sure. Just be calm about it, and this is a good time to talk about STDs if you never have.

Also - an important note is that the hsv1 IgG test misses a full 30% of infections. Even if she tests negative, it doesn't mean she doesn't have it. Herpes testing kinda stinks, but we work with what we have.

Hang in there. :)
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