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Has my girlfriend given me Herpes?

Good morning, my girlfriend has HSV1 and has just had her first flare up since the initial outbreak over a year ago. We have not had sex whilst she had the flare up but she believes it has just about past as she can no longer see/feel anything. Yesterday morning we were in bed where I was spooning her and we were ‘rubbing’ up against each other. I had boxers on and she had shorts on. One thing led to another and I started ‘rubbing her’ with my fingers. She continued to grind on me. We still did not have sex as we can’t be sure that she’s not still having the flare up. However obviously I’ve now got secretion on my fingers. I went to the toilet and completely forgot that I hadn’t washed my hands. I did so immediately as I realised but I’d already touched my penis for a short period. How big a risk is the possibility that by me touching my  penis with my unwashed hand that I could catch herpes this way? Or by her grinding on me? Many thanks
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Do you know if you have hsv1? Depending on your age, about half the adult population has it, and most never have symptoms, so they don't know they have it. If you've ever had a cold sore, you have hsv1. If you have it already, you can't get it again. If you don't know, you can get a type specific IgG blood test.

For now, let's assume you don't have it.

Hands never transmit STDs. By the time you touched her, got out of the bed, got in the bathroom and touched your penis, there was a lot of movement, perhaps pulling the blankets down, opening a door, moving your boxers, lifting the toilet seat, and definitely exposure to air. There's no chance of infection this way.

It also takes friction to infect, usually the kind involved in penetration. A brief touch isn't going to infect you.

If you were grinding with your underwear on, you're fine. STDs don't go through clothing. Even if she were in the middle of her outbreak, you'd be fine with grinding with your clothes on.

You're fine. :)

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You’re a legend! Thank you!
You're welcome!

You should also know that genital hsv1 is rarely transmitted to anyone. Your gf probably got it from someone giving her oral sex, but ghsv1 rarely sheds, recurs infrequently, so it rarely transmits.

Shedding rates: (and you can find all this in the herpes handbook - https://westoverheights.com/herpes/the-updated-herpes-handbook/)

HSV 2 genital 15-30% (55-110) of days evaluated

HSV 1 genital 3-5% (10-18) of days evaluated
HSV 1 oral 25% (91) of days evaluated

HSV 2 oral 1% (~4) of days evaluated

Recent studies have shown that once she's had it for 2 years, she will shed it about 4 days per year.

You can also give her oral sex, if that's something your both into. Herpes doesn't go from the genitals to the mouth like it does from the mouth to the genitals.

Most experts say, and I'll lump myself in, though I'm not a doctor, that they've never seen any ghsv1 infection transmit. If you just avoid sex with an outbreak, you'll be fine. If you have it already, none of this even matters. :)
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