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Herpes transmission from vagina to hand to penis?

Hi,

Thanks for spending the time to read this. I've recently been with a girl who I know is HSV-2 positive. I now its risky to begin with, but it is what it is and despite knowing this, we had an incident that has gotten me a bit concerned. I have done a ton of reading on all of the issues ever since I had known this about her. I know nothing is certain, and that rare cases of transmission are possible..but a situation has me quite worried about possible transmission.

The encounter was that (knowingly not the smartest idea on my part) I performed oral sex on her using my mouth and finger...I know the issues with possible transmission of getting HSV 2 orally although rare..what I am a bit more concerned about is the fact that during the actions..there were times where I also used my fingers and hands on her. Not immediately after, but within a handful of minutes..she performed oral on me, and during this time there were a few occasions where I definitely touched my genitals without washing or cleaning my hands in between. What is the likelihood that since both surfaces were moist that the virus could have been on my hand and then transferred to my genitals by touching myself? She was not on a current break out, so any shedding possible to my hand would have had to been from asymptomatic shedding. Is this something I should be concerned about? It was totally against my better judgement, and I feel very silly now that it is after the fact..but, I got caught in the moment I guess. This is actually not the first time we have been together, so I will be seeing my doctor for typical bloodwork and everything to confirm any presence of the virus..but, due to the fact that this is a recent situation..I am having a real hard time with peace of mind and it is really distracting me from regular activities such as work. Could you please shed a little bit more knowledge on the situation?

Thanks so much!

FM
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Avatar universal
I'd like to offer some insight on your dilemma. I imagine most who post on here are young (20's and 30's). I'm a widowed 61 yo male who enjoyed an incredible 30 love affair with my wife until cancer took her from me. It's been strange to be dating at my age but there are many of us out here and we're dealing with the same issues as the young crowd.

In the few years since I lost my wife I've had a few close relationships that evolved into sexual activity, and yes, sex is great after 60 too. One thing I've always done was get thoroughly tested when I saw a relationship was headed for intimacy and gave the resulting report to the woman I was about to be with. Not only did it put her mind at ease, it created an atmosphere of trust, which made the intimacy just that much better.

In the last month, I met the most amazing woman with whom I'm falling madly in love with. We've gotten very close through learning about each other, although not intimate, and last week I discovered she'd been agonizing over something she needed to tell me. We sat on her sofa and she tearfully told me that her last relationship that ended two years earlier had resulted in her partner giving her genital herpes. For the past two years she'd considered herself defective; a pariah. It broke my heart to see the torment she had endured over this.She'd avoided dating anyone thinking no one would ever want to be with her, let alone love her. She wanted me to think about this and that she would understand if I didn't want to pursue this. Needless to say I was shocked, not ever having dealt with anything like this before. We cuddled that night so I might comfort her. Beginning the next day I read all I could about herpes and spoke with a doctor. I came to realize that it wasn't anything to freak out about. Yes, some precautions must be considered at times, but herpes didn't define this wonderful woman. She didn't ask for it. The jerk she was with previously was a selfish a**hole and he was thankfully out of her life.

I told her soon afterwards that I'd learned enough to realize as much about myself as herpes and that she was more important to me. I told her I greatly respected her for telling me this ahead of time and offering me an "out." But why would I deny myself a love that could possibly be as much, if not more, than I'd known before.

My point, pinkdancer, is if you encounter someone who is so shallow as to not see you as the loving person you are, than they're not worthy of you. Herpes doesn't define you. If they're going to run away from you over that, I assure you, if you stayed together, they'd run away if you became ill with anything else such as cancer and I think I know a little about that. My late wife's diagnosis was an opportunity to demonstrate to her how much I loved her and that my vows to her 30 years earlier were earnest.

So don't let the reactions of the ignorant jerks in the world translate into a gauge of your self worth. You're far better without them. Trust me, there are people who will love you no matter what. And when you find them, you'll know they're truly committed to you and not just wanting to get in your pants.

That's my two cents and i'm sticking with it.
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Avatar universal
I've had herpes type 1&2 for about a year now, i have this bf now.. he doesnt know. I wanna tell him but my last relationship i told him & he ended things. It wasnt good. Im scared this one is going to end things & i really dont want to. Im also not ready to tell him. we havent done anything but given him a bj & him rubbing on my.. a bit scary.
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Avatar universal
I wont to join This convo
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Avatar universal
Ok my question is I have genital herpes but the sores are not on my penis but at the very beginning of my genitals that doesn't enter the vagina can I still transmit if I were to have sex without a condom and that infected spot was never to rub,touch or make any contact with her .......???
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Avatar universal
Ok my question is I have genital herpes but the sores are not on my penis but at the very beginning of my genitals that doesn't enter the vagina can I still transmit if I were to have sex without a condom and that infected spot was never to rub,touch or make any contact with her .......???
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
A woman I know has had herpes for close to 20 years, she has been on medicine for years, has no lesions, her doctor recently told her her antibodies were very weak, they were dormant, and that her risk of transmission was very low.  She does not have herpes1 at all.  She gave me oral sex, used my finger in her anus and her vagina.  I had a very small cut on my thumb and touched her vagina for about 10 secs.  My genitals did not touch hers at all.  She has been having sex with another guy for the last year and he has no trace.  But I am scared to death I picked it up.picked it up
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101028 tn?1419603004
call off the crotch watch dear - it's not a real risk genitally and no reason to be concerned that you contracted herpes from this.
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Avatar universal
thank you grace. and forgot to clarify..the status for my last blood test was hsv-2 negative.

now, as far as what I should do. I am keeping an extremely close eye on any symptoms...if a handful more weeks were to pass say, and all signs continue to stay clear...what would you recommend for me to do as far as sharing this with others?

What I mean is..i don't plan to continue having sexual contact with this girl for the time being..as with all of the stress and everything from being with her in the past is already taking a toll on me..and at least until i can have a reliable blood test I just feel like it's too much added worry right now.

So, with that being said..I obviously plan on being very careful and will NEVER have sex with someone unprotected without an std screening, etc...but as far as having a normal social and dating life..based on the fact that I have no symptoms even after 3-4 weeks of contact, all results so far are negative..do you think it is potentially putting other people at risk if I always make sure to use a condom? I guess it's more of a personal moral question, but I just wanted to get some educated advice on whether I can try to meet and date people over the next 2-3 months until I can get a reliable testing without having to necessarily tell someone I might not be so comfortable everything that happened and is going on in my mind...I would never want to put anyone at risk..and I think I probably would be honest with anyone before engaging in sex..but is this sort of more just being cautious to you..or would you say there is still potential risk, and by all means either tell everyone what is going on, or just wait it out all together?

Thanks again.
Helpful - 0
101028 tn?1419603004
no, just anything on your hand and then you touching yourself isn't an issue.

overall, even if you were having wild sex on a regular basis with this gal, your risk of contracting herpes is very, very low. You'd be 96% likely each year NOT to contract it from her. no reason to worry from the minimal contact you had.
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Avatar universal
hi grace.

thanks so much for getting back to me.

i was just tested 2 weeks ago and found out that i was hsv-1 positive (suspected that since my family and i have gotten cold sores ever since i can remember)

i was just concerned in the way that there was a good chance it could be on my hand still and then it definitely did have a fair amount contact with my penis. she was using her mouth so there definitely could have been some moisture to assist the process. i also washed off with soap and water within a half an hour from the incident once I realized what had happened. i feel very dumb about it all. and this type of thing won't happen again.

is there any way of recognizing how long it typically might take for the virus to be able to "develop" or grow while still on the skin. could cleaning it fairly quickly help at all?

I understand the various things that can happen and that everyone is different..just going through a lot of stress and basically questioning everything possible. I appreciate your help and kindheartedness to answering questions like this for people..so I guess there's not much else that can be done at this point in time..but, any advice or any light you can shed on the situation is GREATLY appreciated.

Thanks again!

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101028 tn?1419603004
this is very low risk in general. we don't even recommend any testing from it.

have you ever been tested for herpes to know your own status?

grace
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Avatar universal
furthermore, if say there was somehow a cut or something in my mouth..can HSV-2 enter through say the mouth, then remain in the bloodsream and cause future outbreaks in the genital area? or is it usually specific to where contracted? (although rare for HSV-2 in the mouth, I know) Thanks!
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