Herpes transmission to diabetic

[longtimehsv]

I have had herpes for more than 30 years and am in a monogamous relationship for over 30 years as well.  This relationship is ending, not because of the herpes, and I have re-connected with a man I truly like.  He is a diabetic and I have told him I have herpes.  He of course is scared of what impact contracting herpes will have on him because of his diabetes.  We want to have sex, but I am concerned.  I have never transmitted the virus and it is genital.  I take Valtrex when there is even the hint of an outbreak.  I very rarely have outbreaks.  I have just begun suppresive therapy to help assure that I have no outbreaks when I am with this man.  What can I say to him to help assuage his fears and what can we do besides using a condom?

[gracefromHHP]

The risk of transmission is overall very low in general. You starting suppressive therapy makes it even lower yet. throw in condoms too and the risk is on average 1% of transmitting the virus to a male partner.

There aren't any higher risks because he has diabetes either.

grace

[longtimehsv]

Thanks for your response.  It is very helpful and hope it will re-assuring to my man.  I am going to be positive while practicing safety.  Do you know if there is anything in particular he should be prepared for should he contract the virus?

[gracefromHHP]

Has he been tested to know his own status? If not, he should be.

As long as you two are together, unless he gets obvious and painful lesions in the genital area he shouldn't really be too concerned. should the relationship not work out though after you've been intimate, he should be sure to repeat his herpes blood test 4 months after the last time you had sex together. Otherwise no symptoms, no reason for testing as long as you are together unless he just wants tested yearly or even less often just out of curiosity.

that make sense?

grace

[longtimehsv]

Thanks again Grace.  We were together this weekend and a condom came off.  Of course now, he is nervous.  I have asked him to get tested so he will know and I explained the low percentage of risk.  Now I am just waiting and hoping that he will have no symptoms.  I am not active and feel my shedding possibilities are quite low as well.  I feel pretty comfortable, but know that he is not.  By the way this is a long distance affair and I may not see him again for another 3 to 6 months.

longtimehsv

[gracefromHHP]

His risk is extremely low. To be honest I wouldn't have even recommended any testing just because of this encounter unless he gets obvious genital lesions.

grace

[longtimehsv]

Do you have any idea how long it might take for him to show symptoms or is each person so different that this cannot be estimated?  I would like to tell him that after a certain amount of time he should be less anxious.

[gracefromHHP]

On average lesions appear within 2-20 days after infection with the virus.

grace

[longtimehsv]

Hi Grace,

I have become concerned about the side effects of taking Valtrex as suppression therapy.  I started having abdominal pains and wondered if you knew what the long term side effects are?  

[gracefromHHP]

Abdominal pain is a common side effect.  Usually it goes away after 1-2 weeks of being on suppressive therapy. If you were on valtrex suppressively a few weeks and then the abdominal pain started, assume it isn't from the valtrex and follow up on it with your provider. The abdominal pain starts when you start the medication, it doesn't occur a few weeks into it.

grace