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Hurt By a Doctor's Advice, Would Like an Expert's
Hello Terri,
I have been having sex with my boyfriend for 4 1/2 years. We are planning to get married next year. I have NEVER cheated on him in any way - and to my knowledge, he has never cheated on me. He is the first person I have ever had unprotected sex with. A few weeks ago, I had some symptoms, and was diagnosed positive with a culture. The lab did not say which type, so I am planning on getting a blood test to determine. My boyfriend has never had any symptoms.
Needless to say, the diagnosis has hit me extremely hard. After my news, my boyfriend went to get tested for all STDs. Unfortunately, the clinic he went to did not do a blood test for herpes, so he will still need to get that done. While at this doctor's office, he told the doctor of our situation. The doctor told him there is no way he has herpes and no symptoms - that he would be having outbreaks if he had it. Then, she went on to tell him that I must have cheated on him. These comments have put doubts into his mind. It hurts to have the person I need most right now doubting me.
I have been researching as much as I can to learn about this virus, but after this doctor's advice, I wanted some things cleared up.
-Is it possible to have HSV with no symptoms? Is it common?
-Is it possible to get HSV even when wearing condoms (from my past partners)?
-Is it possible for me to have had this for years and just now have symptoms?
-Is it possible that my boyfriend just passed this to me after all this time?
-Is it possible for me to have it and my boyfriend not to (when we have been faithful)?
Thank you Terri. I'm feeling so hurt and confused.
I have been having sex with my boyfriend for 4 1/2 years. We are planning to get married next year. I have NEVER cheated on him in any way - and to my knowledge, he has never cheated on me. He is the first person I have ever had unprotected sex with. A few weeks ago, I had some symptoms, and was diagnosed positive with a culture. The lab did not say which type, so I am planning on getting a blood test to determine. My boyfriend has never had any symptoms.
Needless to say, the diagnosis has hit me extremely hard. After my news, my boyfriend went to get tested for all STDs. Unfortunately, the clinic he went to did not do a blood test for herpes, so he will still need to get that done. While at this doctor's office, he told the doctor of our situation. The doctor told him there is no way he has herpes and no symptoms - that he would be having outbreaks if he had it. Then, she went on to tell him that I must have cheated on him. These comments have put doubts into his mind. It hurts to have the person I need most right now doubting me.
I have been researching as much as I can to learn about this virus, but after this doctor's advice, I wanted some things cleared up.
-Is it possible to have HSV with no symptoms? Is it common?
-Is it possible to get HSV even when wearing condoms (from my past partners)?
-Is it possible for me to have had this for years and just now have symptoms?
-Is it possible that my boyfriend just passed this to me after all this time?
-Is it possible for me to have it and my boyfriend not to (when we have been faithful)?
Thank you Terri. I'm feeling so hurt and confused.
MEDICAL PROFESSIONAL
Yes, it is definitely possible to have HSV 1 and never have a cold sore or genital sore (HSV 1 can be genital as well though less often). And it can be transmitted when no sores are present, too. So there is much more to learn here. Do you mind my asking which city this Planned Parenthood is in?
Terri
Terri
Thank you for your comments, Terri. I was a bit angry (to say the least...) when he was told this information.
We have not been blood tested as this whole situation is still new, but plan on having it done.
I went to my actual OBGYN to get cultured. When my culture came back, I asked for what type, and my doctor said that for some reason the lab didn't type it - that they normally do, but she didn't know why they didn't do it this time. I asked if she could call and get it done, but apparently it was too late. So, I do plan on having the blood work done. My OBGYN supported everything you told me after I told her I was in a committed relationship.
My boyfriend actually went to Planned Parenthood and this is where he was told that I cheated on him because it was impossible for him to not have OBs.
He has never had a cold sore - nor have I. Is it possible to have HSV-1 orally but never have a cold sore? Yes, we do practice oral sex.
We have not been blood tested as this whole situation is still new, but plan on having it done.
I went to my actual OBGYN to get cultured. When my culture came back, I asked for what type, and my doctor said that for some reason the lab didn't type it - that they normally do, but she didn't know why they didn't do it this time. I asked if she could call and get it done, but apparently it was too late. So, I do plan on having the blood work done. My OBGYN supported everything you told me after I told her I was in a committed relationship.
My boyfriend actually went to Planned Parenthood and this is where he was told that I cheated on him because it was impossible for him to not have OBs.
He has never had a cold sore - nor have I. Is it possible to have HSV-1 orally but never have a cold sore? Yes, we do practice oral sex.
MEDICAL PROFESSIONAL
First of all let me say that the doctor he saw knows next to nothing about genital herpes. This has been my specialty for 30 years, and I can say with absolute certainty that most people who have herpes don't have symptoms that they recognize. Well done reseach backs that up. It is far more common to have herpes and not know it than to have herpes and know it. Doubts? Look up NHANES and herpes on PubMed, and see the research for yourself, and with any luck, someone will send this to the doctor he saw so she wont' screw up anyone else's life. Excuse me, but this really makes me angry.
It is also possible to get herpes from someone using a condom, yes.
It is possible to have it for years and not have symptoms.
It is possible that your partner has had this for years and just recently passed it to you.
And it is possible for you to have it and him not, yes.
It is also very possible that you have HSV 1 genitally and that he gave it to you through oral sex. Whoever did the swab test should have definitely had it typed, so that also was a big error. Has he ever in life had a cold sore? Does he give you oral sex? Have you ever had a cold sore? Have either of you had blood IgG antibody tests for herpes? I think you would both benefit from that right now, to see who has what.
And have your partner read this - he needs an expert opinion, clearly he did not have one before.
Terri
It is also possible to get herpes from someone using a condom, yes.
It is possible to have it for years and not have symptoms.
It is possible that your partner has had this for years and just recently passed it to you.
And it is possible for you to have it and him not, yes.
It is also very possible that you have HSV 1 genitally and that he gave it to you through oral sex. Whoever did the swab test should have definitely had it typed, so that also was a big error. Has he ever in life had a cold sore? Does he give you oral sex? Have you ever had a cold sore? Have either of you had blood IgG antibody tests for herpes? I think you would both benefit from that right now, to see who has what.
And have your partner read this - he needs an expert opinion, clearly he did not have one before.
Terri
You are reading content posted in the Herpes Forum
Herpes spreads by oral, vaginal and anal sex.
Herpes sores blister, then burst, scab and heal.
STIs are the most common cause of genital sores.
Millions of people are diagnosed with STDs in the U.S. each year.
STDs can't be transmitted by casual contact, like hugging or touching.
Syphilis is an STD that is transmitted by oral, genital and anal sex.
