A few years back, I had a herpes scare that was:
1) Unfounded; my partner most likely didn't have the virus, and
2) Ended up being a misdiagnosis; I had a fungal infection rash, and
3) Was ruled out with blood tests at 6 months, swabs and multiple other doctors visits (including a dermatologist)
The misdiagnosis really put me through the ringer emotionally as I ended up having a nervous breakdown. Ever since then, I am terrified of the possibility of acquiring the infection from new partners. It's not so much the fear of the condition, but rather the stigma attached to it.
I live in Canada where you pretty much have to twist a doctors arm and stamp on his/her feet to get HSV blood tests done. They won't give you one unless you have obvious symptoms or are in undue distress over a misdiagnosis (like my case) or had a high risk exposure with someone known to have the virus.
I recently received unprotected oral and protected vaginal sex with a new girl (27 years old); I'm a 30 year old male. We spent the night together and did this twice. I have concerns about this exposure as I am uncertain about her character...you can probably assume I'm second guessing my decision to sleep with her. I did not do this with the intention of it being a one night stand. We had actually been on three dates prior to this event, but I'm not sure if she has intentions on continuing to date me due to the way she was acting around me.
1) She had no obvious sores around her mouth and when I told her that I don't get cold sores, she actually became concerned that I had said I felt a cold sore coming on. Lol, after the confusion was cleared up, she confirmed that she has never had a cold sore before either, though I realize she could still carry the virus.
2) I mentioned to her that I get tested regularly (annually) and that my last test was clean and haven't had any partners since then. She said that she gets tested regularly too and is also clean, not sure when she was tested last.
3) Before moving to intercourse, SHE insisted I put on a condom (don't worry, I would have anyways), which I think is a good sign on her part.
4) I lasted quite a long time and noticed that there was some brown discharge from her on the condom both times, which smelled like blood. Prior to insertion she warned me that she hasn't had sex in a while and it might be tight, so I'm wondering if I most likely caused some trauma? I read brown discharge could be a sign of infection (chlamydia or gonorrhea), could it be caused by herpes too? She's on birth control, and I have read something about cervical erosion or something like that.
5) I am probably one of the few males my age that has all three shots of the Gardasil vaccine, so I am hopefully safe from the most concerning HPV strains.
Am I at any appreciable risk for herpes or other STDs? Some of the brown discharge ended up on the base of my penis past the condom, which I washed off after sex.
Is there anything I can or should do to help me alleviate my fear about HSV2? Routine testing is not an option for us here. I worry about herpes after every single sexual episode now after my scare.
Sorry for the long post and thank you for taking the time to read and respond!