IgM negative at 12 weeks. Should I still be concerned?

[Ishouldcalmdown]

Hello friends,

So I have to be honest. I worry a lot about STD's, especially herpes. I understand that it won't kill me, but the stigma is something I'd rather not deal with. I've been with five people in my lifetime. Most of which I knew for a while as friends prior.  I had protected sex with a girl a little over three months ago. She gave me oral for like ten seconds too. She has never had symptoms of herpes and I've never had any lesions or painful outbreaks on my lips or genitals. But, somehow, I allowed myself to become fully convinced I had herpes (mainly due to the fact that she had been with a lot more people than me).

About a month after we slept together, I had a little dot of redness on the head of my penis that lasted for a couple hours (Honestly, I did have on dirty underwear and sweated a lot that day.. gross I know, sorry). I was told by a sex clinic doctor that it wasn't anything to be worried about, and definitely not herpes. At that point, I accepted that I'm fine.. For a little while. Then, I start noticing these random aches in my groin. Sometimes they're at the tip, sometimes on the shaft, in my genitals, my butt, thighs, pelvis. This has been going on for about two an a half months now (Or at least that's how long I've been stressed enough to realize that they're there). It seems like they happen more often when I'm sitting, drink a lot of coffee, or when I'm about to pass gas. But I can't say for sure that any of those cause it. They're just random. They're not necessarily painful, just noticeable. Especially with my anxiousness that everything I feel is herpes waiting to get me.

I have had an injury on my l5 vertebrae for three years now which I know is connected to the nerves for all these areas. Health insurance can be a *****, and it's hard to get into good therapy. I'm pretty sure though it may be a slipped/herniated disk. Three years later, and I still feel pain there daily. I also remember calling my friend's doctor back about nine months ago complaining of random groin pains, mainly in my testicles though. So this area has had problems before now! That was before I even had slept with anybody I'd be concerned about. So I have a hunch that all this is actually stemming from my back problem, which I am going to get assessed. Anyways, I know I'm a little bit of a hypochondriac I'm just trying to get some piece of mind.

I guess my questions are:

Would herpes cause these random aches? If so, would they last for as long as they have?

I know IgM isn't recommended because of the false positives. But, at twelve weeks, if I'm negative for both HSV 1/HSV 2 with the IgM test should I still be worried? Could this test still be helpful if you are negative for both?

Would any type of bowel/intestinal problem cause these symptoms?

Would an l5 injury (or one in that area) cause these symptoms?

Thanks in advance for your responses! You have no idea how much it means to me.

Cheers

[auntiejessi]

Hi -

Why are you getting an IgM and not an IgG test? At this point in testing, you'd need an IgG.

It's really hard to say if you have herpes or not because the IgM is so unreliable. Your symptoms are vague for herpes (maybe not so for your back issues, but we aren't doctors and aren't back experts at all here), and you've been experiencing them long before you met this most recent partner.

You had protected sex and a few seconds of oral. Chances of you getting herpes from this are really, really low.

I'm not a doctor, but I'd advise you to try really hard to get some kind of therapy for your back - or at least a good diagnosis for it. Keep your genitals clean and dry, change your underwear regularly.

Also, a note to the stigma you are so afraid of - no one wants herpes (or any other illness for that matter), but you can help erase the stigma by educating yourself about STDs, and knowing that the only reason there is a stigma is because people get STDs from sex. Herpes is a virus like so many others, but we don't freak about things like chicken pox. Viruses can't be "dirty" or moral statements. (End of preaching, and thank you for listening.)