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Avatar universal

Kiss on cheek vs kiss on lips

I have a problem . I met a girl a few weeks ago, she has HSV 1 and gets cold sores once or twice a year.
Three weeks ago, she had one (2 day old ) and she allowed me to kiss her,, I couldn't see anything, she shifted her mouth sideways so as not to make contact with the sore . She told me afterwards, we shouldn't kiss while she had this. I had read a bit on the subject and freaked out but kept my cool . A few days later she kissed me again on the cheek ! I didn't have time to say no thanks. We also had sex and I made the mistake to tell her to use her saliva. Almost three weeks have passed and so far I haven't had a cold sore like what I can see on Google.

I read some of the posts here and it sounds as though I should not worry too much. I saw her again and wanted to avoid kissing her although the sore was healed but I did it anyway because I could not help having sex with her again.  As I was very worried about shedding I rinse my mouth with copious amounts of apple cider vinegar, not sure if it does anygood but can't hurt. It actually kind of burned my mouth and I noticed I had vey small vesicles on the lips, mainly upper, they show as white spots and are visible only when I push with my tongue to stretch the skin, my guess is they are underneath several layers of skin . I looked at that, and thought I have had this before. It doesn't show when my lips are just closed . I doesn't hurt, doesn't tingle nothing. I only paid attention to it since I have been checking myself like crazy for weeks. But it does look like herpes, although there is no weeping.

Now I have kissed dozens of girls in bars , sometimes in the dark , never with a sore but chances are I have been exposed. It would be great if I already had and had no symptoms other than what I just described. However I don't know and don't want to take any chance of getting a real cold sore or genital herpes. Because this is a casual relationship, I don't know what to do . I thought about ending it but since we would stay friends we would still kiss on the cheek and I will still freak out every time. I have not wanted to discuss the matter with her because I don't want to be the bearer of bad news and make her feel guilty but it looks like I am going to have to. If I break it up like that she will suspect it's because of the herpes and that's not nice. So I have considered maintaining this relationship since anyway we woudl kiss on the cheek. Is a kiss on the lips with no tongue a lot more risky than on the cheek  ?
How can I tell her of my concern without making her feel miserable ? Can I still get sores in the event I have been exposed in the past and can I have gential herpes as well ? I am willing to forego oral for me but still like to give and if we can't kiss , that 's ridiculous.

And what do I do if there is a chance I have it ? Am I supposed to tell every girl I give oral to, there is a chance I have HSV 1 ? That's ridiculous ...




4 Responses
101028 tn?1419606604
Statistically 1 out of every 2-3 people you've ever kissed in a lifetime have had hsv1 orally whether they knew it or not. It's incredibly common.  Just because you can't recall ever having any obvious cold sores yourself, doesn't mean you aren't infected with it too. It really is THAT common of an infection!

So what do you do now? Well the symptoms you describe now really don't sound like cold sores.  I don't recommend more rinsing with vinegar since it's an acid and can actually irritate the mouth more and in theory even trigger a cold sore ( or painful mouth ulcers inside the mouth even ).  If you've never been tested for herpes before, get a type specific herpes igg blood test just for curiosity to see what your status is to see if you even have to worry this much or not. also talk to your gf about her getting tested for hsv2 and other std's too to know her status while all of this is on your mind. If she's only getting a yearly pap , she's not getting std testing done.

grace  
Avatar universal
I have had things that may have been cold sores, certainly many canker sores,
And actually since writing this morning I developed what to me really looks like a cold sore. I just noticed a slight bump on my lower lip where the skin is gone, I may have bitten my lip though because they were slightly chapped (three days after the vinegar episode) and there is a piece of skin still attached . I doesn't hurt at all , not like a canker sore I get with acid food. But now I am afraid I got herpes and that it could get worse. Are those sores supposed to be painful ? I doesn't bleed either, it's just as if the skin has peeled off . But I don't rember biting my lip. wtf !

To get back to my main question : assuming she doesn't have a cold sore , can the risk of a kiss on the cheek be considered roughly equal to one on the lips ?  Because if it is then there is little reason to avoid kissing on the lips.
In general, can HSV 1 evolve and get worse , for ex. can you get bad cold sores even if you 've been exposed years ago ?
Avatar universal
Also the days after we had sex while she had the cold sore I got a small rash on the elbow. It was itching and I scratched almost to blood and I had one tiny blister next to where it was itching . Now the skin remain a bitt tender and slightly wrinkled and of slightly different color (grayish). This is weird. But I do get small skin problems of all sorts that come and go , if it weren't for my worry about herpes I wouldn't mention this. I thought that it could be herpes gladiatorum because she may have kissed my chest although we didn't kiss .
101028 tn?1419606604
A rash on the elbow isn't going to be herpes related.

If you are concerned about what is on your lip, see your provider.

grace
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