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MESSED UP & FINGERED NEW PARTNER!

Hello , hope everyone is doing better than me! First of all I would like to THANK whoever is kind enough to help me with what I’m going through..  I haven’t had to deal with this stupid anxiety in years! Today I met up with this girl that’s been wanting to hang out and I been cutting her off because I’m in a relationship.. to make a long story short I went to her house and gave her a booty massage then I ended up fingering her :( I know stupid me !! I never do this from fear of catching something or just being careful.. after I finished I got scared and left. I started to look up herpes on finger and BOOM!!! You can even get herpes withlow on fingers smh.. what’s my chances from this one time encounter? It was about 2 mins soon after I washed my hands and didn’t touch myself.. now I’m terrified I will have herpes on my hand and can’t touch my daughter and my girlfriend will leave me.. by the way I have oral hsv1 already oral.. I’m just scared of getting 2 on my hand and fingers .
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Avatar universal
Update.. the finger I figured her with is now burning like in the middle of my middle finger
Helpful - 0
2 Comments
That could mean anything, and your skin was intact. You were not at risk for herpes. If it lingers, you should get it checked out by a doctor.
Remember that guilt does not equal risk.
207091 tn?1337709493
COMMUNITY LEADER
"I heard you usually get whitlow the first time you get herpes" - you may be talking about autoinnoculation. This is where you infect yourself in a different location before you have antibodies to protect against this.

If skin has already grown over, you're fine.

Here's a good thread from one of our doctors, when we had them - in his 30 years of practice, he's never seen whitlow - https://www.medhelp.org/posts/STDs/herpetic-whitlow/show/249050 It's rare.

There's no need to call the girl and ask about herpes. Even if she has it, chances of you getting it on your finger are so, so low that you don't need to bother her with this.

Try to not think about the "what ifs". That's anxiety talking, not reality. You'd have to have open skin, like an actual cut. You didn't, or you'd see it today. You don't.

Seriously, consider getting some help for this anxiety. I say this with only compassion. There is help for this. Remember that guilt does not equal risk.
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1 Comments
Thank you so much
207091 tn?1337709493
COMMUNITY LEADER
First, we are a message board, not a chat site. We volunteer our time, so you may not get an answer immediately.

Herpetic whitlow is rare. You don't mention any cuts on your hand, which means you didn't have any. The intact skin on your fingers means that herpes can't infect you.

(Even if you had whitlow, you could still touch your girlfriend and your daughter. You'd only be infectious with an outbreak, which you could just cover to not transmit. You don't have it though - I'm just letting you know that people with whitlow aren't touch starved for the rest their lives.)

Your problem here is anxiety, and maybe infidelity. Perhaps it's time for counseling for both?

Feel free to touch your daughter and girlfriend. Stop looking up stuff on the internet.
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1 Comments
Thank you so much for responding! I’m sorry I was trying to be s smart you know what.. just thought someone would respond earlier .  But I did have some pulled skin but the new skin has already grew over top of it.. I was mainly worried about the juices getting up under where the nail starts at top of skin.. I haven’t asked this girl if she has hsv-2 yet because I’m scared but I will today.. I heard you usually get whitlow the first time you get herpes.. just scared I might have caused a lot of unwanted problems just from fingering .. I don’t know if I pulled the skin back right where my nails starts but my middle finger has been feeling different .. I’m so scared
Avatar universal
Do people not help on here? I thought this site was for that? Can someone please help ?
Helpful - 0
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