Looking for some solid answers and support; this is really overwhelming and I want to educate myself about risks, and also be there to support my partner.
I started dating a woman a few weeks ago. At the outset, I had gone and been tested for everything. Over the past year, I've had three HSV-2 tests which were all unequivocally negative. The IgGs ranged from 0.04 - 0.12 for the three tests, over a one year span. I was very confident I did not have HSV-2.
When my partner and I started dating, she told me very confidently that she had been tested for everything and was negative. I trusted her, and we started having protected sex. Over the past few weeks, we've gotten more comfortable with each other, and since she is on birth control, we decided to have unprotected sex.
Last week I asked her about the tests she had gotten in the past and she told me she'd never gotten blood work done for HSV-2, but was pretty sure she didn't have it. She then told me that last person she was with DID have HSV-2, but she had never seen anything or had an outbreak. I was immediately concerned and suggested she go get tested so we would know what's going on. She had been with her HSV-2 positive partner for 3 years, and it has been 2+ years since they had last been together. So I guess she felt that since over the course of 5 years, never having an outbreak meant no HSV-2.
Well, that was incorrect. This morning she got back her blood work and it her IgG showed HSV-2 levels of 8.3.
I am at a loss for words. I really, really care for this person. I don't know how to feel, act, or wonder how much risk I'm at myself.
I'm hoping some of the experts here can weigh in and help me make sense of this, and how to move forward. I want to educate myself the best I can, but also assure my partner that I am not going to run away from this, as long as we educate ourselves and work on it together. Given that, I have a few questions:
1. To date, we've probably had sex 6-8 times, with half of those being unprotected. I have also performed oral sex on her probably 6+ times, as well. Given her asymptomatic nature/no outbreaks (that we know of) while we've been together, what kind of odds or percentages am I working with of having contracted HSV-2?
2. When would it be appropriate for me to go get an accurate test to determine if I do indeed have HSV-2? Our last date of intercourse was this past week, on July 25th. Six weeks? Eight weeks? Longer? and keep going? I am concerned that if we end up not staying together, I might be at risk of spreading this to someone else down the road, and want to ensure I can figure out at some point what my status is?
3. Is there any reliable info on transmission rates from female to male re: being asymptomatic?
4. Given that she has been likely infected for more than 4+ years and not experience symptoms, are the odds any better that her shedding is lower or the virus is not as strong in her system?
5. Just how bad is an IgG of 8.3 -- does that mean that way more antibodies exist, which in turn makes her at a higher risk to transmit the virus?
I know this is a long post. Any help/advice/info is appreciated. It's been a long morning, and I just don't know what to think anymore...