I have had genital HSV1 for about 3 years now (or, is it 4??). So, I understand some of what you're feeling (although, any of the feelings are way in the past). I remember crying when I found out in the doctor's office, of course right away thinking "oh my god herpes", but fortunately that lasted shorter than the length of my outbreak. Once I became educated, and realized I was no different a person with herpes than I was without, moving on was pretty easy.
Sounds like you're struggling a lot with something you may never have the answers to. In the end, you know you have genital HSV1, and the healthiest thing you could do for yourself is try to move forward from the who gave it to you and when and why and all of those things that clearly are causing great distress for you. Don't get me wrong, I'm sure it's frustrating not knowing, but if it's impacting your life like this, consider working with someone to overcome it. Wouldn't it feel great to NOT have this herpes burden on your mind? You can get there, but it may just take time and finding a good counselor to do so.
A couple quick answers: blood pumps throughout our body. Where it's drawn from makes no difference. Your swab/culture was positive, that's what matters. I've never had a cold sore either; my infection was a primary one on my genitals. Could I have got it orally at the same time? Possibly. But I don't worry about it, there'd be no point. But to answer your question, folks may get it both places because usually during a sexual encounter you kiss in addition to (in this case) having oral sex.
As to HSV1 orally and HSV2 genitally, well yes statistically that's usually how the two go. About 1/3 of all new genital herpes cases are HSV1 though, no doubt due to oral sex. As to your question, Dr. H explains that stats here:
And another good post:
Fortunately most folks my age (46) already have it, so it's been a non-issue with dating over the past couple of years. Relationships are tough to come by, herpes is easy compared to the other stuff you have to work through to find the right partner in life.