Responsibility to Inform Partners of HSV Positive Status?

[LivingBetterNow]

I just got out of a long term relationship with a partner who was positive for both HSV 1&2; and did not tell me until we had been dating for over 3 months. She is now joined a bunch of dating websites and singles groups and I know she is not telling them of her status. Is it against the law for someone not to disclose that they have herpes?

I recently got my negative results back after abstaining from sexual activities for 3 months and taking a full panel STD test.

During the three months I prepared for being positive and am the type of person that if it had been positive I would have to share that with any future partner. So it bothers me that my ex is not doing this and I feel compelled to do something.

I look forward to any advice or suggestions you may have.

[gracefromHHP]

You are not legally obligated to inform a partner of your herpes status however if you don't tell a partner,  were aware that you were infected previous to them, and transmit it to them, they can take legal action against you in civil court ( i.e. sue you for money ).  

we encourage everyone to discuss their herpes status in general because it's part of being sexually responsible. Unfortunately most folks aren't even aware that they aren't being tested for herpes and it's far too early to not even know that you are infected :(

grace

[petal130]

Quite honestly you have no right to police what your ex does. We can't control the moral decisions - nor should we - of anyone. Sounds like in general the relationship sounds a bit odd, even creepy, in that you want to do something about it. If she's your ex, move on with your life.

As to you being surprised that your not positive, it's more likely that you won't get it than will from a positive partner. Even in discordant partners, were you to not use condoms and she wasn't on supressive therapy, and she wasn't having an outbreak, there's a 96% chance annually that you would NOT get herpes. Pretty darn good odds.

[whattodonow32]

My last comment was not meant for LivingBetterNow in particular....just a general observation on things.

[whattodonow32]

Honestly, the choice is up to you but I would tell. In fact, I always do. Clear conscience is what I like.

I wouldn't police my ex and investigate what that person would or sould not do. It's an ex for a reason. Wear protection every time and you and every other person you sleep with will be....SAFE !

But...it's only herpes ! It's not like you might give someone brain cancer. You know, something actually life threatning. Now that would be worrisome, wouldn't it ??

People need to relax a bit over this...