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Risk/Concern for HSV-2

Last night I had a one time protected sexual encounter with a female escort(23) for about 15 minutes. I received oral which was protected and I was still not fully hard so the condom was all the way to the base, she also only sucked the tip area. We then proceeded to have intercourse, the room was dark so I could barely see clearly, I didn’t notice anything strange or out of the ordinary on her vagina and surrounding areas, and it didn’t seem like she was in pain during sex. So there was no visible outbreaks and I also doubt she would be offering services if she had an active outbreak going on, assuming she has HSV2. We engaged in vaginal sex for about 10 min, maybe even less than than that.

What I’m concerned about is the condom I had on did not go down to the base. I am 7 inches and the condom only covered about 5 ish inches, I was in all the way deep most of the time so some of my bare skin was exposed to her insides. Also to add on she used lube and the sex was pretty rough.

I asked her afterwards if she has any STDS including Herpes, she said no. I also asked her if she gets tested frequently, she said yes. But at the end of the day she’s still an escort and could have caught something recently and not know. I’m worried about getting STD, specifically hsv2 from this one encounter.

Should I be worried about this encounter? What are the chances I could get HSV2 from this one encounter?
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Avatar universal
Is a sore throat a symptom of genital herpes? My little sister got a cold Monday night or Tuesday morning, there is a high chance she passed it on to me because I got a sore throat about an hour ago (Thursday night). This would only be 3 days after my sexual encounter. My random itching and tingling went away but not completely, it’s 90% less than it was a couple days ago tho, still no visible symptoms everything is good. As of right now I currently have a sore throat, no runny nose or cough or headache or me feeling tired at all.

I read somewhere that HSV symptoms include flu like symptoms like a headache, fever, tiredness. But it doesn’t cause symptoms of a cold like sore throat, cough, runny nose, congestion. Is this true?

When you said fever I assumed that a sore throat is always included in a fever, am I wrong?

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A sore throat is not a symptom of genital herpes. You're correct that it's flu like symptoms like a headache, fever, tiredness, but not congestion, cough, etc.

It's allergy season in a lot of places, and there's still covid, and people are still getting colds, especially now that people aren't masking like they once were, depending on where you live.

A sore throat is often not involved with a fever. If you have a fever from food poisoning, for example, you wouldn't get a sore throat. You'd have all kinds of stomach symptoms (vomiting, diarrhea, cramping, etc.), but no sore throat.

If your sister has a cold, go back to your covid precautions - wash your hands a lot, disinfect things, etc. I hope you both feel better soon.
Avatar universal
Yes I am spiraling, I’ve had encounters before with my exes, and I always feared herpes. I tested 3x for both HSV-1 and HSV-2 and all came back negative all within the past 2 years. Today is day 2 and by the time you read this it will be day 3 since my encounter. My throat is a little irritated, like I feel like I have to scratch my throat but when I swallow no pain at all, it feels like a sore throat is coming but there’s no pain. There’s also mild tingling and itching around my general area, my legs, arms, back and face, basically my whole body but it shows up at random times and is very mild. The mild on and off tingling and itching started yesterday which would be a day after my encounter with the escort. Those are the only things out of the ordinary that i am currently feeling right now. But the less I think of herpes or get my mind out of this overall situation, everything I’m feeling lessens considerably and sometimes pops in at random times but even more mild than other times.

Last year when I was spiraling out of control over this issue I believe my anxiety/stress imitated herpes symptoms. I had every symptom but herpes sores, lesions, bumps and redness but a couple people told me it must’ve been just stress or anxiety. But it was never really an expert such as yourself who assured me it was stress.

My question is, could the things I’m feeling now be because of stress or anxiety? I’m constantly regretting my decision and thinking and fearing this almost 24/7.
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2 Comments
I would like to add on, the mild itching happens all over the body but the past day I’ve noticed that it also happens on my bottom left pubic side right near my testicles, it’s not constant but it happens there and then sometime later it happens there as well. It’s very mild, most of the time I don’t even have to itch it for it to go away it doesn’t really bother me. It stays for at most 5-20 seconds without me itching it to go away and it usually happens when I think about it. But when I do itch it I only itch it once or twice and it goes away.

There’s no redness, and burning anywhere. The itching isn’t intense nor is it constant, the timing is very spread out, almost random even and very mild that I rly don’t even have to itch it. The tingling has lessened a lot, probably even stopped all together for now. But that’s only because I calmed down a lot more ever since last night. Same with the irritating throat I woke up feeling great except about 5 min after I woke up that one area had an itchy feeling about 3-4 times in the span of 2 hours.

If I was to have an outbreak would the itching be non stop and intense, and would it be at one specific area?
So first, your fear of herpes is totally overblown. No one wants it, and I'd never encourage anyone to get it, but for most people with serious fears about it, they really have no idea what it's like to live with herpes. If you don't have a general germ phobia, you may be basing all this on the stigma, and it's way overblown.

Herpes doesn't cause full-body symptoms. I've had ghsv2 for almost 20 years. It has never caused my face to itch, and it never will. It can't.

Herpes infects nerve groups. Genital herpes infects the sacral ganglia, which means that your symptoms will be limited to the area that boxer shorts area. When you are first infected, you may feel achy, feverish, and like you're fighting the flu, but it won't cause any other full-body symptoms.

TIngling and itching all over your body is most likely anxiety or stress, unless you've eaten something or been exposed to something you're allergic to. It has nothing to do with herpes.

For most people, living with herpes is a minor annoyance. I have allergies, IBS, migraines and a few other things that are far more annoying and have a far greater impact on my life than herpes ever has. Your anxiety probably has more of an impact than herpes would. Have you ever spoken to your doctor or a counselor about your anxiety? You should consider that, seriously.

Remember how low your risk is.
Avatar universal
Thank you for responding, I have a follow up question.

If she did have an outbreak would it be extremely painful for her to have intercourse?

In my eyes and better judgement she was completely fine, she wasn’t sick, it was a little dark in the room so I couldn’t see her genital area clearly, but it didn’t seem like there was anything. Now that I think about that day I start to realize that maybe the base of my penis wasn’t in her but it’s a high chance it was because I was in deep.
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5 Comments
I’m only asking to see if there was a chance she could have worked while on an outbreak.
It would likely depend on where her outbreak was on if it was painful. Sex with an outbreak is painful for me, but I always get them on my vulva.

Most people with herpes know not to have sex with outbreaks. It's not ethical, it can be painful, and the friction from sex can make the sores worse.

Try not to worry too much, okay?

I don't know if this is a situation of you going outside of a relationship, and if it isn't, I apologize, but I just want to remind you that guilt doesn't equal risk.
I would like to revisit your first paragraph, is the 4% 2-3 times a week like hood when you’re having unprotected sex?
Hey a thought just popped up in my mind, I was reading a lot of articles about this. The escort said she gets tested frequently (as in every 1-3 months) but most STD tests don’t offer genital herpes testing right?
Yes, it's when you're having unprotected sex.

A lot of STD testing doesn't include herpes testing. However, she's an escort, and we don't know where she tests. If she has a private doctor, her doctor may test her.

You seem like you might be spiraling here. You're going to find all kinds of stuff on the internet that may or may not be true,  or accurate. And no matter what you find, it won't change your outcome.
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The chances of getting herpes from a one-time encounter with someone who doesn't have an outbreak are pretty low. We don't have exact numbers for that, but we do know that if you had a long-term relationship with  a female who had hsv2, avoided sex during outbreaks, and had sex 2-3 times a week, over the course of a year, you'd have a 4% chance of getting it.

We know that condoms offer men about 30-50% protection against hsv2 from an infected woman. It's hard to say what your protection was since your condom didn't cover entirely. (If you have problems with fit, you should find a brand/size that works for you, and bring that with you.)

From the oral sex, you could get genital hsv1, if she put her mouth beyond the condom, which she didn't. I'm just letting you know that for future reference. There doesn't seem to be a risk here for that.

Overall, it sounds like your risk for hsv2 was low. I can't say zero, but low.

There is a risk for syphilis, too, but syphilis is uncommon in most developed areas, so I wouldn't worry about that. If you decide to test for that, you can at 6 weeks, just to be sure.

You can take an IgG type specific herpes test now to see if you have it already. The type 1 IgG misses 30% of infections, and the type 2 IgG has some false positives, so they aren't perfect. You should know that going in, and consider that. If you are anxious and don't think you can handle a false positive that can take weeks and possibly several hundred dollars to unravel, then don't test. That's a fair decision, given your risk level.

You aren't at risk for gonorrhea, chlamydia, NGU, mycoplasma, or HIV, since the head of your penis was covered.
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