Hi there -
We can't diagnose as we aren't doctors, but she does need to get it checked out. If she's being "hard to work with", she may be just as afraid as you are, so remember that this is happening to her body, not yours. Yes, if this is your partner, it could affect you, but stop talking about it to other people. If she wants to talk about it, let her.
You should also be tested. If this is herpes, and you are her partner, you could have transmitted it to her. Most people who have herpes of either type don't know they have it because they don't get symptoms or their symptoms are so mild that they wouldn't ever think it was herpes. Ask your doctor for a type-specific IgG blood test. You could have oral type 1 and transmitted that to her genitals by performing oral sex.
In the meantime, be supportive and gentle with each other.