I was in the same situation as your male partner a few years ago. I performed oral sex on a woman who didn't tell me she had Herpes until afterward. I was also very concerned, convinced I contracted Herpes, and it ended our relationship. However, I have gotten tested repeatedly months and years later, and my IGG count was always less than 0.9.
This would be of the order of 1 in 10,000. Negligible.