What to do?

[TrainingDay82]

Good Morning,

On Sunday I was with a 32 year old woman I've dated off and on since September.  While being intimated I felt a lump on her that just tweaked me out.  

I questioned her on this and if she had it looked in which she indicated it was not genital warts?

Me, feeling bad I apologized for grilling her and told her situation a friend had where her ex-b/f gave her genital herpes.

This is the best part, this woman told me she had genital herpes! Rather than attack, I kept my composer and asked why she never told me this at all? She clamed she takes valtrex daily and has not had out breaks since summer.  I told her it doesn't matter.

I went straight to Drs so far HIV, Syphillis, Hep-C came back negative but now I am waiting on Herpes results and hoping no warts pop up.  I had one other partner I'd have to notify if so.

We were first intimate in September and I have had no symptoms which I know can be dormant.  A few months after I was real sick which paranoids me as I did not have flu but some symptoms explained seem similar.

I'm hoping for the best on ever account, but hurt that someone was not honest with me and put my health in jeopardy nor was ever going to tell me.

Has anyone had something similar happen to them?

[test123456789]

I strongly disagree with Life on his statements, folks are here to know the facts, they are not worried about themselves but to protect their partners, child, and perhaps friends from spreading it. please note others read your each words and trust this, follow this because they trust you as an expert, if you are trying to help one emotionally he will go and spread this to other 10 and then to other 100s,Facts have to be taken as facts, if one infected with cancer you may support him to less down his stress but situations in stds are different. Helping some one to less his stress may be resulting in having many other living in stress.

[txr890]

um...people need to be told the facts and asymptomatichsv is speaking them.  People who are told there is little to no risk may just say "ok, medical 'experts' told me that I'm clean" and they go out and infect more people.  There is a huge difference between providing support and telling people they have no problem.  

The person needs to be told to get tested as he was possibly exposed.  Additionally, the woman in question was not asymptomatic; she admitted to having outbreaks.  Clearly, were she close to an outbreak for whatever reason, transmission risk is greatly increased.

[Life360_Dave]

I would agree with testing since she does have herpes but we need to stress the risk factors in this forum to ease peoples concerns. Folks come here for support out of anxiety and the anxiety is what we like to focus in on.

[asymptomatichsv]

My recommendation was for him to get tested because he thought he may have contracted an std?   Are you recommending against him getting tested?

Here's a quote from a scientific journal focused on the study of herpes.  
(http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/m/pubmed/17703961/)

"At least 70% of the population shed HSV-1 asymptomatically at least once a month, and many individuals appear to shed HSV-1 more than 6 times per month. Shedding of HSV-1 is present at many intraoral sites, for brief periods, at copy numbers sufficient to be transmitted"

I did agree with you on antivirals reducing shedding rates.  However, you don't know when your shedding regardless and several studies have shown that hsv2 sheds genitally more than type 1, hence why I asked that question.

The only way to know for sure is to get tested.  That is also the responsible thing to do.  

[Life360_Dave]

Trainingday, was a condom used?

[Life360_Dave]

First of all shedding rates have nothing to do with transmission rates and the below is a quote from Dr HHH

"Second, even with unprotected vaginal sex, with intercourse lasting several minutes, during which time there is continued, often vigorous contact of genital skin with an infected partner's genitals and secretions, the average transmission risk for HSV-2 is somewhere around once in several hundred to 1,000 exposures.  (In monogamous couples in which one partner is infected, who have unprotected vaginal sex 2-3 times a week, transmission occurs in about 1 in 20 couples per year.) "

Taking antivirals would reduce this even more by 50%.Sounds pretty close to zero considering they were intimate only twice!

[asymptomatichsv]

I would disagree based on scientific articles.  Do you know what type of ghsv she has?   If it's type 1, your chance of contracting it is less.   If it's type 2, type 2 seems to shed more frequently.  

The usual rate of transmission without sores(asymptomatic shedding) ranges from 10-20% of the year.   If she is on daily suppressive medication this rate is definitely reduced, it's hard to say by how much.

The best thing to do is get tested between 12-16 weeks exposure.   Wish you the best bud.

[Life360_Dave]

Hi, first of all herpes are blister type sores not warts. And since shes taking antivirals and had no outbreak at the time you were intimate, the odds you contract herpes from her would be close to zero.