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Avatar universal

Worried for wife and kids

Hello everyone.  Laudable work grace and others.  Really you people have a great dedication.

I am an African.  I work with NGOs mainly to give people food and education.  I am of Asian origin and am not financially rich but enogh to live.  I have a wonderful wife and a great kid.  My wife is about to give birth to another one in some months.  We were virgins till our marriage.  Not even a kiss.  We do not have oral/ genital herpes or any other problem. (tested when wife pregnant 1st time).  

I made a mistake some days back.  I was on a work really far in Africa itself and got an encounter with a Csw in a pub-cum-brothel after few beers.  I was bare chested and she was all naked.  I had rinsed my penis in the toilet and my cargo pants zip and button ws fully open.  I wore a slip and my penis meatus(head) was a bit out due as it was trapped by the underwear elastic at my waistline.  The room was dark.  I had kissed the neck n breast of the csw. No lips kiss.  I had climbed on top of her and dry humped for few seconds.  Like 15 to 30s.  She did a handjob.  I touched her private parts and anal area.  When I lit the light I saw like red sores near her lower labia part.  I don't know if it was herpes.  I washed and left immediately.  

I fear my bit penis may have touched her genitals during few sec contact of humping. I had flu/ fever next day for three days.  Nothing more.

I have not even kissed my wife since out fear;(. I know my guilt got the better of me;(.  

Do I have worry about anything or should I continue my normal life?  I will nvr betray my lovely wife. Help me.  I will prefer to die than harm her or my kid n baby.
19 Responses
Avatar universal
I'm uncircumcised btw.  And my penis head was out bit during humping.  Whether I was between her legs or on her big belly sitting on her, I really do not remember.  Do I have a reason to worry for myself and my family?
Avatar universal
I forgot to add.  This hapened 6 days back on Saturday evening.  Got fever on monday till Thursday.  That's why I freaked out.  Today i will see a doctor.

Thank you in anticipation.  I hope I posted correctly in right forum.  Sorry for any mistake.  I humbly apologise.
101028 tn?1419603004
this isn't a real risk for any std at all. really no reason to be worried. don't confuse your guilt over what happened with risk.

Avatar universal
Thank you.  I will be admitted in hospital for my bad fever.  Doctor suspects a viral/ bacterial infection.

Yes it's really my guilt that was eating me.  I take it that even if the csw touched her genitalia and sores perhaps (infectious fluids), and then after 30seconds or so touched my penis during hand job - my penis which had 2 nicks / cuts from trimming (2-3mm  trimmed 1 day before), and also touched my face with cuts wounds (2-3mm) from shaving ( 1 day before), I was still at no risk and must not worry?

I read secondary touch is not a risk.

Thank you.  Guilt is still here.  I hope I will overcome it soon.

Bye bye.  I'm much relieved.
Avatar universal

My blood work (FBC) that i have low (LYM) lymphocytes count and increase in GRAN (granulocytes i guess).  More of a viral attack for the fever.  

Just an update if it helps in anything.  I hope you will answer this little query (doubt) that i have above.

Thanks in advance
Avatar universal

I have recovered well from my fever.  It was of viral origin but unknown.  My own system recovering slowly now.

Please have a look at the addendum to my post and give some insight.

Thanks in advance Grace.
101028 tn?1419603004
absolutely nothing else I can add from what I've already told you.

glad you are feeling better :)
Avatar universal
Thank you grace.

I have never betrayed my wife before and never will.  I will be returning to my wife tomorrow.  I really miss her and my kids.

I have fully recovered now.

Can I now on live without any fear to infect my lovely wife and continue a normal intimate (unprotected) life with her? (since you said no risk from above details)

This will never repeat.  Once bitten twice shy;)

Thanks again
Avatar universal
101028 tn?1419603004
as I already said, not a real risk for any std's.
Avatar universal
Thanks for your reply.

So I do not need any herpes testing or other stds tests or abstain from my relationship for a time till tested?  

I mean I can move on as I am now..  I got no symptoms yet(1.5 week now).

I want to do no harm to my wife and kid and our little baby we expect soon.
Avatar universal
Sorry if I irritated you or made you repeat yourself.  I humbly apologise.  I just want to protect my family from my mistake.

If you say no need for testing herpes or anything else, or no need to wait and expect symptoms, I will accept your answer and move on.  Anything you say.

Thank you in advance


Avatar universal
bump... Do I need any Herpes / std testing?

Thanks again.
Avatar universal
Avatar universal
still not home;(..flight and bus delayed.. I miss my family and yearn to see them. I have done a wrong thing and I regret it. I want to rectify anything i can.

What has been bad is turning worse.. Please advise me if I need any testing Herpes/std or just need to move on?

Thanks grace.
Avatar universal
Avatar universal
A little post that is similar to mine.  You had replied on it and it was posted in the doctor's forum also.


Dr Hansfield:  " ....This was o superficial a contact to allow transmission of HIV or any other STD, including herpes.  The causative viruses and bacteria evolved to require much more intimate contact for transmission; infection requires exposure to large amounts of them, and they have to be inoculated deep inside the body, or with vigorous rubbing of infected skin or membranes.  The whole reasons these bugs are transmitted almost exclusively by sex is that they cannot be transmitted by touching, kissing, sneezing, or superficial exposures of the kind that can transmit cold viruses, staph, pneumonia, influenza, tuberculosis, etc.

So you need not be at all worried about HIV or any STD from this event.  You do not need testing, and if this is your only potential risky exposure, and if you have aregular partner, you can (and should) continue unprotected sex with her or him.

Best wishes--  HHH, MD "

He also added No penetration = No risk.. subsequently no testing.

This post gives me some hope.  Do I take it that I need NO TESTING herpes/stds at all from this encounter?

Sorry for being repetitive or irritating Grace.  I could not have the means to post on the paid forum;(.. You are the best help I could get!
Avatar universal
Bump.. I hope you look at it.  I am really confused.  If I need no testing I will move on and never post again.
2 weeks nearly an no symptoms.

I met my family.  There is nothing like being with them.  I hope you know what I mean!

Take care.  See you.  Please a last advice.
101028 tn?1419603004
please don't continue to ask me to repeat myself. you have received an answer to your questions. feel free to pay to post to the std experts if you want further advice.
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