DESPERATE !!! PLEASE HELP!

[texmex5445]

DESPERATE !!!  PLEASE HELP!

A little over 6 weeks ago, during the bachelor’s party of a friend, I got drunk and had sex with the stripper. I received unprotected (no condom) oral sex and wore a condom for vaginal intercourse. This is my first time cheating on my wife if 16 years EVER! I started getting panicked about STD’s. My friend reassured me that I could not have caught anything from receiving unprotected oral sex from the girl, but I decided to get tested anyway last week to get my mind at ease. I got my results yesterday, I was clear of all STD’s except for HSV-2. They told me I tested positive for genital herpes type 2 and that the test was type specific and very accurate. My friend insists that I couldn’t have gotten HSV-2 from receiving unprotected oral sex, and that wearing a condom during vaginal sex protected me since there were no open sores visible on the stripper. He thinks I must have had HSV-2 for a while. These are the facts: To this day I have never had an outbreak on my genitals, never ever as long as I can remember.
The only thing I can think of is that I had one round pimple on my left buttox around 3 weeks ago. Only one pimple with a white head, close to my leg. I tried to pop it, put some acne medicine on it and it went away in one week. Occasionally I may have some inflammation around my anus, I had this for many years, put some hemorrhoid cream on it and it goes away in one day. Is it possible that I had HSV-2 for so many years without knowing as my friend says? Or did I get it from the stripper? I’ve been married for 16 years and I never had any kind of Herpes outbreaks (HSV-1 or HSV-2) and neither did my wife. She actually got tested for all types of STD’s 6 or 7 years ago, as she had a very painfull UTC, so I know she didn’t have HSV-2 at that time. I never EVER did anything to contract HSV-2 in the past 16 years with the exception of what happened at the bachelor’s party. Never cheated until 6 weeks ago, so I am really getting desperate. My friends suggested that I may have gotten HSV-2 from my wife. As I said I know she had no STD’s for sure as of 6 or 7 years ago, and I am positive she doesn’t sleep around. You have to trust me on this one, too long to explain but I know I didn’t get this from her.
I guess my questions are: Is it possible for me to have had HSV-2 for over 16years with no outbreaks? In that case is it possible for me to have HSV-2 with no outbreaks, and not to pass it to my wife? (we have unprotected sex around 2 times a month). Is there a test I can take to see if this is a new or an old infection? If my wife has no symptoms or outbreaks (believe me if she did she would know it and tell me) what are the chances of her having HSV-2 if I have it? Is my friend right that I couldn’t have gotten this from the stripper? I am so desperate. If this is a new infection, I will have to tell my wife and this will devastate her and certainly end our marriage. We have 2 little kids and I love them so much and the thought of loosing them just kills me. If this is an old infection I got before we were married and she never got infected from me, them maybe I should just keep quiet and live with the guilt. I check myself over and over and still no sores anywhere! PLEASE HELP ME!

[gracefromHHP]

the igm results are meaningless. no way to know if you were recently infected or not by them which I believe has been your issue all along with this.

[texmex5445]

HSV IgM AB TITER    Out of Range  1:80H   reference range  <1:10
HSV (IGM) W/REFL TITER HSV IgM AB SCREEN     DETECTED

Reference rainge: NOT DETECTED

[texmex5445]

Thank You Grace,
What about the IGM test results? Any clues from the IGM test that would indicate if this is a recent (2-3months old) infection, or is the HSV-2 is something that I had for a long time and newer shown symptoms for?

[gracefromHHP]

your hsv2 igg is still positive as it was initially.  

[texmex5445]

HSV 1/2 (IGG), HSV(IGM) W/RF HSV1 IGG HERPESELECT AB
In Range  0.11   Reference Range  0.00-0.89 INDEX

HSV2 IGG HERPESELECT AB  
Out of Range  >5.00H      0.00-0.89  INDEX

That's it, they finally posted correctly. sorry for the multiple postings....  

[texmex5445]

Grace, I finally got the correct test and since the Avidity test I really wanted was so hard to get, I hope the IGM test results can give me some clue if this is a new infection or something I got many years ago.

Test Name                                           In Range       Out of Range      Reference Range

HSV IgM  TITER                                   1:80 H                   5.00             0.00-0.89 INDEX

So here it is.
I don't understand the IgM results, do they indicate a new infection?

[gracefromHHP]

well if it was a non-type specific test it's still a total waste of time. the results you've returned with are not a test for herpes of which I'm familiar at all.

[texmex5445]

They were supposed to do an HSV IGG IGM test......they didn't?

[gracefromHHP]

I think this is a generic igg/igm test and not herpes igg testing to be honest.  are you sure this is herpes testing?

thank you for posting back in this post. so much easier for me to give you decent advice if I can see your whole "story" easily!

[texmex5445]

I was tested positive for HSV-2 and negative for HSV-1 a few weeks ago, via a HSV type sensitive blood test.

I'm am trying to find out if this is a recent infection I may have caught a few months ago, or if I had a dormant HSV-2 infection for many years and did not know it.
I had a questionable incident a few months ago, and it is important for me to find out if I got infected then or many years ago without knowing it.

I did an IGG-IGM test as I was told that the presence of IGM may indicate a recent infection.
Of course I got the results and I have no idea what they mean.

Test Name          In Range      Out Of Range      Reference Range

IGG, SERUM         982                                     694 - 1618 mg/dL
IGM, SERUM         93                                         48 - 271  mg/dL

What do these levels mean?
I see 93 for IGM, does this indicate a recent infection?

Please help!

Tex

[asianslore]

Im glad you told your wife...herpes really isnt a big deal...its just the stigma attached to it. on the other hand, its ashame that your wife doesnt know how much of a pig you are. Sorry, but someone has to reem you out for it.

I hope you dont do this again. what if the condom broke? u could have given her something else thats worse like HIV....you could have killed her.  why would u put her health at risk?

[petal130]

http://www.medhelp.org/posts/STDs/Is-there-a-test-I-can-take-to-see-if-I-have-a-new-or-an-old-HSV-2-infection/show/1388400

As Dr. H stated, your twins can't get infected unless they have sexual contact with you or your wife, period. There's a reason it's called a sexually transmitted disease.

[texmex5445]

UPDATE:
I bit the bullet and told my wife that I had blood-work done because of a small rash and the test came back positive for herpes. Obviously she was very upset, got tested as well, and came back positive for HSV-2. She was told by her doctor that since she had no outbrakes that had noticed thus far, that she may never experience one, and that made her feel better. The question about how did HSV-2 enter our lives still remains.
As I was told that my stupid Bachelor's party adventure may have nothing to do with HSV-2, I selfishly choose not to add to our family problems by admitting to it. My wife is mostly worried about our twins and how to keep them from getting infected. Thank you all for the advise and valuable information I got on this board.

[gracefromHHP]

your children are not an issue. herpes is a sexually transmitted infection and we don't have that sort of contact with our children. nothing special to do because you have kids.

if your wife has questions just write them down here and we'll answer them for her ( or perhaps ask them on the ashastd message board where you haven't posted and I'll answer them there so you can show them to her and not have other incidents available for her to see ).

grace

[Still_Worried_]

That's very interesting.  Thank you.

[gracefromHHP]

you can get different results even if you test 2 days in a row. a positive is still a positive even though it will vary sometimes.

after 20+ years of being infected, I only have a hsv2 igg of 3.1 . it's about the individual body more than anything.

[Still_Worried_]

Hmmmm, my HSV I score skyrocketed over time.  I contracted it probably 10 years ago.  I used to test way under 5, now I'm over 7.   Is that just test fluctuation?

[gracefromHHP]

your igg result doesn't get higher and higher over time.  Not unusual at all to have that result that early.

[Still_Worried_]

Can you REALLY get a 9.95 value in as little as 7 weeks??

Have you personally seen/heard of people going from negative to over 5 in that amount of time?

That boggles my mind.

[world78]

"Then I made irreparable damage to her life and our marriage.It's hard to live with such guilt" Everyone go through this kind of anxiety after/suspected that they may have STD but you will be alright its just takes some time..Lets says you got this virus before the marrige and you are unaware of this untill now, you found out now by chance! so no point of feeling guilty.

Have had sex(unprotected) with your wife after this bachelor's party encounter?
Consider Grace response, right now you need support not only from this forum so talk to wife.

[world78]

Is there any time period for Avidity test from first exposure/encounter?

[gracefromHHP]

no reason to post your test results repeatedly. we all see what you post.  

You have no way of knowing if this is an old hsv2 infection or not. contrary to what still_worried posted, you can have that result at this point. The avidity test I mentioned is the only test we have available that can help you figure out if it's old or new. You need it done sooner rather than later if you are interested in getting it.  all it will tell you is if your infection is likely to be less than 4 months old or not.  

one way or another you should discuss this with your wife. Up to you if you want to be honest with her about recent incidents or if you want to make up a lie like your doctor did blood testing and did herpes testing as part of routine testing or not.   Odds are she's noticed that something is up with you no matter how well you think you are hiding things.

[texmex5445]

Thank you for your post. One drunken bachelor's party and here we are. If I have an old, 16year asymptomatic HSV-2 infection, then at least I can feel better about not bringing this into my marriage now. Is there a test that can tell how long I've been infected? If I was infected 16years ago and not 7 weeks ago then at least If my wife has no HSV-2 infection by now, that means we made it for 16 years, and we could salvage our marriage and still be together sexually as we always did. If this is a new infection then all changes. Then I made irreparable damage to her life and our marriage.It's hard to live with such guilt.

[Still_Worried_]

I also just wanted to add that (if she was, in fact, NOT tested for HSV at all throughout your marriage or before it) and she tests positive now, it is also possible SHE brought it into the marriage.

Although I'm not excusing your actions, everyone makes mistakes, so try not to get too overwhelmed with guilt.