You aren't going to ping pong HSV-1 to his genitals if that's what you're worried about. His HSV-1 status gives him immunity to getting it in another location especially the same strain. It's up to you if you want to tell him or not since he already has HSV-1. It's really a non issue with this guy since he has HSV-1, and isn't at risk for contracting it genitally. With that said, I'm sure his intentions weren't to hurt you, so it's up to you. I can't tell you how to live your life, but most doctors will tell you that you don't have to disclose HSV-1 (regardless of location) to anyone since most of the population has it. I don't really agree with those doctors, but that's just me. As I said, this is your life and your decision, but you aren't going to reinfect him with it genitally.
Should i tell the guy i'm dating? How should i go about telling him? We've only been seeing each other for like 2 months.. i'm not sure what to do.
Neither of us had any idea it could be spread to mouth to genital. If we had known, neither of us would've even considered doing it.
I am intrigued that you saw the cold sore and he ackknowledged that he had it and oral sex was performed. I think he should have been smart enough to not go through with it since it is contagious.
In your post I didn't see that you've been seen by a physician. If you are in a great deal of pain then you should go get your lesions swabbed for 100% confirmation and get a prescription for Valtrex for 10 days. In almost all cases with genital HSV-1, it is not necessary for you to be on daily antivirals since the outbreaks are few and far between and really mild. The Valtrex will help with the primary outbreak, which will be the worst outbreak you'll ever have since your body has just recently began producing antibodies to fight the virus.
There's a difference in transmission, shedding, recurrences, outbreaks in regards to HSV-1 and HSV-2. Genital HSV-1 sheds less than 12 days per year including outbreaks, so out of 365 days, you're contagious for 12 of those days on average. Genital HSV-1 is rarely transmitted through genital to genital sex due to the low shedding rate. Except for the primary outbreak, genital HSV-1 outbreaks tend to be extremely mild, and few and far between. 40% of those who get genital HSV-1 will not have another outbreak; 50% of those who get genital HSV-1 will have 1-2 over a span of a few years; and very few will have recurring outbreaks comparable to HSV-2.
Since your boyfriend has HSV-1 orally, there are really no precautions needed to be taken to prevent transmission. Couples do not ping pong a shared HSV-1 infection to other parts of each others bodies. Your boyfriend has developed an immunity to acquiring HSV-1 in another location (at least extremely resistant). Since your HSV-1 is the same strain as your boyfriend's, the immunity ideology is even more accurate. It's always best to avoid sex when you have an outbreak because open sores are a portal for bacteria, which can delay or worsen the healing process. To conclude, since you have this genitally, you won't get it orally unless you got it from the same exposure, and your boyfriend won't get this genitally since he already has it orally. Only 10% of people make it out of life without acquiring HSV-1, so you were most likely bound to get it some time or another.
Also, if you and the person you're dating break up, it's likely your future partners will have HSV-1 as well and will be immune or at least highly resistant to contracting it genitally.
HSV-1 is carried by most adults and the best study available by NHANES IV is as follows in regards to prevalence:
Ages:
14-19: 44%
20-29: 54%
30-39: 64%
40-49: 65%
Caucasians
20-29: 46%
30-39: 56%
40-49: 59%
African Americans
20-29: 56%
30-39: 75%
40-49: 80%
Latinos
20-29: 80%
30-39: 86%
40-49: 89%