newly dignosed single mom of 2

[scaredtomove]

Well I had my blisters scrapped Monday. I'm aware Its herpes solely from the look of them. Pain and location. Of course everyone I've been with denies any genital concerns (yes I'm aware it can be asymptomatic). But I did inform each of them so I've done my part.

I'm so scared this is going to move from my left labia to my entire body. I know it needs a moist surface to stay alive. But I'm just new to this new kind of constant paranoid thinking. I fear Hand hygiene isn't enough and I should be doing more. I am scared to wipe away my tears. I was in emergency this morning because I got a cyst in my eye and was convinced I transferred herpes from vaginal area to eye. Overtime my arms tingle or my feet feel funny I have to do a complete head to toe assessment.

I'm a single mom and I don't care about my future love life. I care about my kids safety and their wellbeing. This diagnosis is extremely difficult to handle at the moment but I'm sure with more information I'll be able to manage a healthy lifestyle that reflects my new body's complications.

If you can help me understand how to keep this contained. The likeness of transferring from genitals to body. The precautions other parents take. I can start to feel empowered and less like a giant bag of dirt.

Yes I stated oral antivrials 2 days ago. I've notice some changes. The blisters have popped. It hurts like hell and to top it I got my period so I have to wear a pad and I'm sure thats not helping heal it any faster.

Looking forward to hearing some replies. This Google search way about finding information is scary.

[gracefromHHP]

these don't sound like herpes at all.  

I hear ya on the sore butt after sitting so long!! Amazing how much pain just sitting can cause :(    remember to get up hourly and move around at the very least and make sure your chair is adjusted properly.

[scaredtomove]

Pimples on my bum checks. They are spread out. No where near my original outbreak that were on my labia. Does it look like pimples when it's not on my actual labia. Those were undeniable ulcers. These look like pimples with white heads. Have had these before but shave and always figured ingrown hair. They aren't painful. More so uncomfortable. That being side I've been sitting for 12 hours so in general my bums sore has I work 12 hrs shifts.

Just looking for your guidance into identifying ob.

[scaredtomove]

Jodylynn. I can relate. I can live with herpes. What I'm struggling with is living with herpes and my kids. I don't feel disgusting nor should you!!! Don't allow this to take hold of your self esteem or self worth. No women iS judged by what their vagina looks like!!!  I'm sure your husband was attracted to many thing about you before even seen you naked. The fear is getting less the more I remind myself who I am. I urge you to remember your not a herpe your a women who has a man that loves her and understands she has a skin condition that is both annoying and random and could possible like I'm sure all your problems do just nay affect him.
I can't offer support with regards to spreading this to our loved ones but I'm slowly coming around to the whole skin to skin. Direct contact. And implementing small changes. Ie all have our own towel. And everyone washes their hands more often.

Good luck!!!

[JodyLynne102]

I have the same fears. I have seen my obgyn, pcp, er doc and therapist because I live in constant fear of spreading herpes or whatever the heck I have to my granddaughter. I keep having recurrent lesions on labia minora. I have had this happen several times over the past maybe 2 years. But now that I am being checked for herpes, I am thinking back to all the times that maybe I didnt wash my hands right away. Just the other day I was using the bathroom and my granddaughter came in and used her toddler potty. I wiped myself and thre the tissue in the toilet, flushed and then she was done and needed my help wiping. I just helped her like always and now an paranoid and fearful that I have spread something to her. I should have washed my hands first but I didnt give it a thought until too late. I am totally comsumed by fear and DO feel like a biohazard. like my husband finds me disgusting even though he says thats not true.

[gracefromHHP]

reread what I've posted previously. your children were never at risk for your genital herpes.

[scaredtomove]

Okay so just a 're cap.
Taking sex out of the question for now. I can still snuggle and sleep in the same bed with much kids. Has long has I continue with hand hygiene after using the bathroom and using my own towel my kids should be safe from me.

And although spreading my genital herpes to other parts of my body is possible it's highly unlikely has long has I don't touch my genitals and then touch another part of my body. Ie eyes mouth. Nose.

I am aware how repetitive I sound and silly but these are my fears. If you told me there was no way I could give my kids genital herpes. I know I'd live a very happy life. But when you tell me their at risk I panic. I came sleep and I withdraw. I am seeking couciling and my Dr asked me to given it 3months to see if I even have another ob before starting antiviral daily therapy has Im a very fit healthy 27year old. I think if I can get over this fear mad panic of transferring this to my kids family or friends I'll be ok.


Thank you Grace.