My wife had a similar issue as you do in mid January of this year. She went for her post partum checkup and her pap smear came back abnormal with mild dysplasia. We felt devastated but our family doctor helped us. The doctor immediately sent my wife for a colposcopy. During the colposcopy, a small white lesion was observed. The obgyn performed a biopsy on the site of the lesion. The biopsy results came back recently and my wife was now diagnosed with chronic inflammation of the cervix. From the information, I have been receiving, hpv does not cause chronic inflammation; hpv causes accute inflammation of the cervix. However, we'll find out for sure when we'll meet with my wife's obgyn in early May.
What I am trying to tell you here is to relax and go for colposcopy. This procedure will give you all of the answers you have been looking for. In fact, my wife didn't feel uncomfortable at all during colposcopy and biopsy. My wife thinks that pap is uncomfortable.
It is not necessary that hpv would cause abnormal pap. A number of other things can cause abnormal pap.
HPV cannot be ping-ponged back and forth to partners. Your current boyfriend has what you have. Whether you have safe or unsafe sex with him now is irrelevant. Neither of you have no idea who gave it to who and there will never be any proof of who had it originally. Men can't be tested unless they have warts. Whether he last slept with someone 2 years ago or if he had oral sex with his previous partner is also irrelevant. This isn't the end of your sex life or his. The best thing you can do is have a procedure performed and become healthy down there. Lead a healthier lifestyle and boost your immune system. And then keep having all of the un-safe sex you want with your current partner for the rest of your lives because you cannot re-infect each other. Everyone of us here felt what you are feeling now. Yet we are all moving on because celibacy isn't for everyone. Go read the Doctor's Forum and see what they have to say about HPV. Its a fact of life like the common cold for anyone who has sex regardless of the number of partners one has. Be glad you can be tested. Most men are clueless unless they had a wart.