Painfully Worried & Sad

[fuzzypeach]

I recently found out from an abnormal pap smear that I have dysplasia, inflammation of the cervix, and am postive for HPV. I have already gone through a colposcopy and had cryosurgery done yesterday (Wed.).

As a woman, this has caused an enormous amount of emotional stress for me. I can't help but constantly ask myself the question "why me?" I've only had three monogamous relationships (at least on my end) and have never practiced casual sex. Before I found out the bad news, I was beginning to exercise again and eating very healthily. Hearing the abnormal results was a huge blow. Feelings of embarrassment culminate frequently. This isn't my only problem, however.

What really brings me down is that I have not told my current boyfriend the news... We have been going out for about 3-4 months...and I love him. We both enjoy sex very much, but having the procedure done will prevent me from having intercourse when I go down to visit him. (We're in an unplanned long distance relationship, in other words, we didn't know we would be separated when we started dating.) I've been blaming me feeling ill on the birth control pills I just started taking about a week ago. I need to tell him soon because I really have no excuse for abstaining from sex, which is a concern for him.

I don't know how to tell him and I am extremely worried about being dumped. He prides his health a lot and I'm afraid he will look at me differently. This would truly break my heart if he isn't understanding.

Please give any suggestions on sharing this with him and coping with any outcomes. Sorry for the long post and I'll appreciate your suggestions. :(

[lving4today]

I, too, felt the same way as it's unfair and still do to some extent even though I've been educating myself on the subject. I'm learning secretly in my group of friends that they too are dealing with it or have dealt with it. So we're definitely not alone.

I've only had 3 partners..with girls who have had barely ANY partners themselves and I've always been afraid of catching something so I refrained from casual sex. Turns out I'M the one who catches something. Sometimes life works like that I guess, but that's how we become stronger and learn to overcome way worse situations. This problem is only minuscule in comparison. Hold your head up high and follow your Doctors advice as alex said

[fuzzypeach]

Thank you Alexdelong for your comment.

I am hoping I will remain confident when I inform him of this, and I'll tell him it is very common amongst sexually active people. I'm guessing my body reacted differently to it since I believe I have a decent immune system. I hardly get the flu or colds!!! It was a huge surprise to me to have this infection going on.

Please, to others reading, I would love to hear your suggestions/experiences as well.

Thank you everyone!

[alexdelong]

I know it feels unfair, but almost everybody will get at least one strain of HPV in their lifetime. You are definately not the exception. Fortunately, you had your Pap. When detected early HPV rarely causes any serious problems. Follow your doctor's advice and I am sure you will be fine.

You shouldn't worry about telling your boyfriend about HPV. There is a good chance that you share this strain, and there is a good chance that he has had previous strains. Fortunately, HPV rarely causes problems for men. If he is an intelligent, honest guy, he should realize that the virus could have just as easily came from him as you, and realize that HPV is a inevitable in a sexual life.

Best of luck!