The Past that Keeps Haunting Me (a bad decision I made years ago)

[maddrummer57]

Hi, Im a 14 year old male, i know, not too often you get questions from people my age. But about four years ago, before puberty, i experimented being bisexual with a friend of mine. we hadn't a clue what we were doing and we clearly made some bad decisions. I did a few things here and there with him, but wasn't having much fun. I decided to not be gay and to never do something as stupid as that. A month or so after i had somewhat of oral sex with him, i developed little small bumps on my genitals. I was too afraid to tell anyone or get help, thinking they wont except me and they're be ashamed of me. I am very ashamed of what i did. I know already that my condition isn't a symptom of HIV, because I've had the infection for around four years now, and nothing has changed. I've taken many health classes through the years in school, and couldnt quite put a name on the infection. What should i do? I want to avoid talking to my parents about my condition because of fear they will be ashamed of me. I dont know how to ask my doctor either, because I'm not sure if he'll tell my parents or not. Or should I go to a health clinic and get tested? I havnt been gay since then, and i currently have a girlfriend, and im afraid that if she want's to do anything, ill have to explain to her my problem. I dont know what to do. The same boy i did it with four years back told me he doesnt have any infections or rashes after having oral sex with me. What should i Do? I know he is asymptomatic.

[DasKapital]

So, if I have your timeline right- you fooled around with your friend when you were ten years old, correct? That seems to be an age at which your friend would have been very unlikely to have had anywhere near enough sexual experience to have contracted anything passable to you.

Assuming that your friend DID have something though (keep in mind, I don't think he did), oral sex is low risk for transmission of most STDs. I seriously doubt you contracted anything. Considering a) you were only ten, and presumably, your friend was as well, b) I don't know of any STD that presents itself after a month, then sticks around for four years without changing- I really think you are fine. Herpes would have presented as a series of small, painful blisters that eventually would have crusted over; and genital warts would not have presented after only a month (and are VERY unlikely to have been spread via oral sex).

If I had to guess, I would imagine that being the age you are, your body was undergoing some serious changes (the genital area has a number of bumps on it that develop during puberty... hair follicles become more pronounced, oil glands, etc.) and that your shame associated with the event has made you sensitive to STD issues.

I really don't think you should worry about STDs. If you want to get checked out, by all means, do, but I am pretty confident that all the tests will come back just fine.

[Kayla_Marie_x3]

I agree with tommerhawk. That's probably the best thing you could do.. You should hold off on doing anything with your gf bc you wouldn't want her to have it. try not to be ashamed to get help.. I know its easier said than done but in  your defense you were only experimenting.

[tommerhawk]

got to a clinic get tested tell a doctor about your situation he or she will respect your privacy and will tell which test you need cheers