When can I stop disclosing?

[Emme819]

I am 51.  When I was 44 I was disgnosed with LSIL.  I had a colposcopy which was negative.  I had Paps every 6 months for 3 years and all were negative.  I have not had a negative Pap since that one in 2006.  I asked my GYN if I should disclose the fact that I probably have HPV to future partners.  He seemed pretty nonchalant about it and said it might be a good idea if I brought it up, but also emphasized that just about everybody in my dating age range has has been exposed.  I recently had my annual physical and asked my PCP if I still needed to disclose HPV.  He said that since I never actually had an HPV test there is not 100% certainty that I had. the virus (but that I probably did) that i shouldn't disclose it.  He was pretty adamant that since it will alarm them and they most likely have been exposed to it already I shouldn't bring it up.  He considers it a big to-do over nothing at my age.

I would really like to not disclose this since the two men I did disclose it to in the past 5 years ran for the hills and made me feel like a tramp to boot. Disclosing is wrecking my sex life.  Is it unethical for me to not disclose?

[Annabug1123]

I totally agree with very worried. At your age, any partners you have almost certainly have been exposed to both high risk and low risk hpv. Furthermore, you have been clear for quite some time which SUGGESTS that your immune system has cleared it.  Obviously no one can be 100 percent sure, but I honestly do not have one friend who has not either shown hpv in a Pap smear at some time in their life or had genital warts (or both) and they are not promiscuous.  None of them goes around telling this to future partners (unless it was active)

[scaredone529]

The men who ran were not for you. When I disclosed, I had one jerk make fun of me, but I just dismissed him as an idiot. He told me most people would run from me then spoke of ways to protect himself to prevent infection from me. Meanwhile he boasted about sleeping with 4 women in one night. I have 1 strain of hpv. I don't want more. I ran from him. This tool probably has it.

[scaredone529]

Yes, you absolutely do have to disclose HPV to future partners at all times. There never becomes a time when you don't have to, even if you revert to negative. It can reactivate. Take it from someone who had to learn this the hard way and faced an angry partner and had some people stop associating with her. Disclosure is mandatory until therapeutic vaccines cure it so the virus becomes as harmless as chlamydia.

[tattoomommy03]

My answer remains the same in following your heart.
I don't feel it being a major need too because it is so common.
I'm sorry I wish I could help more.

[Emme819]

I have the HPV that causes cervical cancer.  I do not have warts.  Does that change either of your answers?  

[veryworried420]

Listen to the PCP. It is silly to tell future partners, if and this is really important, if they are also sexually active. They have it too and may not know it. This is the problem - how do you convince a man that he has it if he cannot be tested and has no warts?  You cannot. You can tell them the facts and they still won't believe it unless they are educated about it too. So why bother telling anyone?  Follow your brain. I was infected by a woman who didn't tell me she had it. I do not hate her. It is the price for being sexually active. What's the alternative? Celibacy??

I am careful but I also will not date a woman who isn't also sexually active. If she has been active or has slept with more than 3 partners in her life, I assume she has it and any negative test result she has had is just due to luck.

[tattoomommy03]

I think you should follow your heart sweetie. Me personally I would tell my potential partner because I know what it was like finding warts down there. It hurt.
I totally understand your fear tho. With men running but they don't undwrstant they may already have it as common as it is.
You should never feel down on yourself because of any std or what not. It isn't like you asked for it. It just happened. And it could happen to anyone. Stay strong hun. I'm here if you wanna chat. I have genital herpes AMD hpv! I know they feeling.

Follow your heart