Human Papillomavirus (HPV) Community
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Avatar universal

Why am i alone with this?

I have only been with 2 girls in the past 6 months and neither of them have gw but i do. So whats happens? Neither of them want to be with me. So i'm screwed... and stuck waiting 2 years for this to go away. I haven't been to the doc yet but i'm 100% sure i have it. I got rid of a few early ones with acv but now its got so bad acv is just too painful. I've had it for 2 months or so. Idk what to do. Idk if i can handle being alone for that long. I'm sorry but i just need to vent. I'm devastated. I figured if i ever did catch something like this i would at least be stuck with someone else who had it. I dont even have many guy friends. My only saving grace in my social life was at least i could meet a woman and spend time with her. I cant even do that now. Seriously depressing. I think I spent the last month at home doing nothing because no one knows and no one really calls me anyway. Life is sad. I was always generally ok with life. Now its dark. Please someone give me hope this will eventually pass.
14 Responses
Avatar universal
I have been going through the depressing nature of gw. Its hard not having any one to talk to and I wouldnt want to share . People look at you different afterwards my husband hasnt touched me since I found out.      So being with someone isnt of much help if they think it is your fault and are afraid they will get it to .                           seek counsil, BUT NUMBER ONE go to a dr. your local health dept. will prob. check u for free you can get a cream that will help you get rid of the warts...DONT wait you can spread it. To your mouth,eyes,nose.....go get it took care of, if you touch yourself down there WASH your hands with soap for 20-30 seconds .                    There is a light at the end of the tunnel , I am not there yet but I am sure there is. Staying at home is depressing and can make you feel worse, get out do something go to church, volunteer go help someone else in need ...this makes you feel great I promise. But dont sit at home alone and feel sorry for yourself it will only make it worse.                           Hope this helps and that you go get help.
Avatar universal

Ok guys guys come on now. I agree that having GW SUCKS! i mean i am in college right now and i feel like dealing with this at my certain point in life is very depressing. I got GW through protected sex and i only had sex twice. As much as it sucks as much as it wants you to be depressed you cannot let this take over your life!

  Many people including men and women have cleared their infections never to have a recurrence again or to transmit the infection to another partner. Keep your head up. Trust me, i understand your situation, as i was also effected the same way as mostly everyone has when they find out about having HPV.

Sittng in the dark and just being depressed is not going to help you at all, neither is regret. You are now in a battle with the virus. Meaning you can win, don't let the virus win. Think about people who find out they have Herpes or HIV, think about how much more depressing that is. You can't even get rid of those viruses where in the case of HPV you CAN clear the virus where it won't ever cause another outbreak or be transmissible again.

Do the necessary things you can to beat the virus, get the warts treated asap. Don't go for treatments such as ACV they're home remedies and not recommended for treatment of warts by most medical professionals. You know how the virus works? The virus is localized over the infected skin, wherever the virus is , that is where the wart will grow. The wart is contagious because it carries the highest amount of viral load. When you do treat the wart with lets say, cryotherapy, your wart will dry and fall off but the skin where the wart was may still contain a small amount of the virus, it may or may not cause another outbreak but thats how you treat the area after you get rid of the wart. Use veregen or Aldara on it afterwards to use your immune system to treat that area.

The strongest and most effective weapon against any viruses is our immune system, take care of yourself by taking vitamins, exercising, eating healthy , stop smoking and drinking. Do every thing you can to treat your infection. I wouldn't worry too much about spreading the infection to other parts of the body unless you literally touch the warts and touch another part of your skin for a certain amount of time. Just wash your hands with soap if you ever do touch the warts. Doesn't have to be for 20-30 seconds, that in my opinion is obsessive compulsive disorder.

Good luck and Keep it up! If you ever have any questions or need to talk, I'm here for you =)
Avatar universal

You sai dour husband won't touch you? It is most likely that he has the HPV also. He may not show symptoms since about over 90% men do not show any symptoms at all but still carry the virus. You also cannot ping-pong the virus back and forth between you and your partner. Just proceed with protective sex and you should be fine. Don't let the virus get to you, it can and WILL go away.
Avatar universal
Hey dude. Let me tell u 1st that ur venting is gd idea. =] Get it out somehow, it will help and here is where u ended up so its as good place as any. And theres some go ppl here going thru the same sh#t. Btw if u think about it 'here' is really everywhere man. SO u r not alone. Get some answers and see the doc. I'm seeing [another] doc nxt wk. Dermatolgist. Get the std tests done 1st man. I tested neg for all others. Not confirmd 4 me either at this point but like u said i'm a big % certain to. I will do what derm says to get rid of this. And then move on. It sucks. But there's alot more to look 4ward to.=] Including someone who wants 2 b w u no matter what. And that's pretty good dude. I'm waiting 4 it to. It will happen. HOpe ur well.  JAke  =]
Avatar universal
I know i need to see a doc. i'm going to call tomorrow. i only used the acv because it worked while the outbreak was small. but now that its got worse, i can see i need professional help.
It just seems harder for me mentally because most of the friends i had are on on drugs or drink too much. I try to stay away from them because its not the life i want. I guess its hard for me to meet new people because im in school and not working and only see people 10 years younger than me all day. And yes i know there are worse things. Its not even just having the hpv, its the isolation that it brings. And it sucks that I got this from someone who was apparently a silent carrier. And who knows? They're probably just out there giving this away to god knows who. Both girls think i'm crazy like i'm just making this up.  Oh well, i'm just gonna do what i can to keep my head up.
Avatar universal
I want to clear up several things here and there..

first of all, it's very normal if one of those girls had HPV infection but never showed symptoms when they infected you. It's called asymptomatic infection. However, only about 30-40% of people have this and that leaves about 60-70% of the rest always grow genital wart days to weeks after they acquired the virus (sometimes can take up to months, but personally I feel it's unlikely).

secondly, it's not true that 90% of boys have HPV but do not show symptoms. as I said 30-40% of people have asymptomatic infections, not 90%. My data is based on my question in expert forum here and I paid $20 for it (real doctor answered that question, not some online dude/gal)

It's true 50-80% of sexually active people ever had HPV infection at least once in their life (this number includes those who still has their HPV infection). However, most of these hpv infections come from strains that don't cause anything. If you are infected by hpv strains that may cause genital wart, you WILL definitely grow warts (unless you've ever infected by the same strain before OR you have took the vaccine). There are silent carriers, of course, but they are large minority and not 90%. It's not true.

as for Effemel, you are seriously not alone. I have been in the same boot with you. I had friends who like to smoke, do drug, go to nightclub, and play with naughty girls, even prostitutes. Once I came to one of them and I confronted him. He told me that he never had anything despite he's been having sex with random girls in 8 years and sometimes even once a week! (yes, he's 5 years older than me btw)

So I told him how could I have genital wart then? You know what his answer was? He told me "maybe just bad luck". I totally mad at him but I learnt from that situation. You will ALWAYS encounter people who like to have sex with random girls, not only in school but also in business life. What you can do is to convince yourself that you wont ever do this again. You mentioned this is not the lifestyle that you want, then simply say no. Saying no wasn't easy at first, I knew it, but once you get used to it, it's actually way easier.

You are still in school so I can understand that. Once you grow up a bit, you will find tons of adults who have the same interests with your current friends. However, they are grown up adults so most likely they would understand that you don't want to have sex with random women and they would respect your decision. As for your current friends, you shouldn't tell them you have HPV. it would make you look dirty in front of them.

The trick is to tell them "This is not the life i want. I simply have different interests with you. If you are my friends, then simply respect me. There are nerds and partygoers everywhere. There are people who want to live healthy and there are people who are risk takers in terms of STD. If you are that risk taker and if I am someone who want to live healthy, and you CANNOT accept the differences, I dont want to be your friend"

Tell them this and they would definitely drop their jaw off because at that time they would know you are bloody serious. If you cannot be serious in your confrontation against them, they would keep mocking you. Sometimes what you need from life is a change. You might want to approach different groups of friend and hangout with them. Hangout with those who are healthy or find any kind of group that match your healthy interest. For example, if you like football, go find a football community in your local city and hangout with them. You know what i mean?

Hope this helps.
Avatar universal

whoa, my bad man didn't know the actual statistic. Could have sworn i read that it was a very large majority of males around 90% who don't show symptoms. I guess i should emphasize that me nor most members on the forums are medically licensed professionals to give a valid opinion. Once again, my bad. I do know that most males do not show symptoms. Also i don't think its true that people usually develop warts within days to weeks from exposure. Both Dr. Hook and Handsfield have said that its usually around 3 months , 6 months or even a year before they develop warts. I guess its different for everyone but i guess like they have said, not enough research has been done on HPV to know many things for certain.
Avatar universal
Just a comment..

I think that people that are not reading the medical literature should not be quoting statistics. You are just quoting what someone else said and that leads to misinformation. The truth is that the stats will be different in every medical paper and most of the stats are conjecture based on a small population and then they use math modules to project a number. The fact is no one really knows the true stats for sure. Even the CDC and NIH uses this model. And the stats really don’t mean much until you are part of the group affected and then you try to weigh your odds. This is often an impossibility because every person reacts differently.

The most important bit of info from the original poster is that he had not seen a Dr. yet. So EffEmEl you need to get in to see a Doctor. You are depressed about a condition that usually clears quickly and one that you don’t even know that you have.

The line in LightningF's post that says—
“However, most of these hpv infections come from strains that don't cause anything. If you are infected by hpv strains that may cause genital wart, you WILL definitely grow warts (unless you've ever infected by the same strain before OR you have took the vaccine).”
The above line is simply not true.” Just because you are exposed does not mean you will get genital warts—many people do not get them—it could be natural immunity or genetics. There are sex workers that are exposed that do not get them; otherwise there would be sex workers would be positive a 100% of the time for genital wart infections and that has been proved untrue. And those interested in the vaccines, they are not a 100% effective either and they do come with some risk. The vaccine is appropriate for some people but not all, it needs to be a discussion with your Dr.—it is not a one size fits all solution and may be more risky for women that are already sexually active.

To the first poster, I understand your depression but I hope you will seek medical attention to sort this out. And even if you have an HPV infection, it should be short lived and you can carry on with your life.
Avatar universal
@hollyv: i know everything can be BS but i would believe expert data rather than some online dude/gal opinion, once again I say this and I will stick to this.

It's like a survey on people's average height in United States. They say average height for men is just 5'9". If you live in NYC and in San Francisco, definitely you would have different opinion on this data. You would say "average men is definitely taller than 5'9"' but it can be also vice versa. In the end nothing is 100% true, there's no mathematics. I would agree with that.

However, once again, i would believe these "experts" data rather than your opinion. Here for example:


How common are HPV and related diseases?

HPV (the virus). Approximately 20 million Americans are currently infected with HPV. Another 6 million people become newly infected each year. HPV is so common that at least 50% of sexually active men and women get it at some point in their lives.

Genital warts. About 1% of sexually active adults in the U.S. have genital warts at any one time.

Cervical cancer. Each year, about 12,000 women get cervical cancer in the U.S. Almost all of these cancers are HPV-associated.

and here: http://www.medhelp.org/posts/STDs/Couple-Of-Questions-About-Genital-Warts/show/1583567?personal_page_id=2214850#post_7192354

The best estimate is that 60-70% of people who acquire HPV 6 or 11 develop visible warts.  That leaves a large minority (30-40%) who have only asymptomatic infections.  Typically it takes 6-12 months before visible warts appear, and they rarely show up before 3 months.  Therefore, some apparently asymptomatic infections may simply appear late -- sometimes long after the exposure.

Again, what these people are saying might be wrong but I would believe them instead of debating your logics (regarding prostitutes etc.). Because talking about logics, sometimes there are logical fallacies here and there.

For example, someone who touches his herpes sore on his penis and doesn't wash his hand. Would the herpes "live" in his hand? Logics would tell us yes. Then how if he shakes hand with someone else then that someone else touch his/her genital afterward? Would she/he gets herpes? According to logics, it should be possible. But if you read everywhere, there's no STD REPORTED CASE from genital-hand-genital case.

When I said reported case, I was not talking about some online claims, but real people who ever been to STD clinic. If you search around expert forum here, both dr. Hunter and dr. Edward claim there's no such patient who admitted they only received handjob/mutual masturbation then they got a STD. I have been to several doctors in my country myself and I even have ever asked them about this. 2 of them even laughed at me and said "no, it's impossible"

in the end it's true that any data/survey/statistics could be wrong but they are way closer to the truth rather than someone's logics/opinion on certain case. I wouldn't worry much about HPV if I were you, because what's done is done. After all, most ****** are liars. I got my wart from a prostitute, just so you know. I had the same lifestyle as most young men in bigger cities, drinks, nightclubs, cheap girls, etc. etc. I would tell you most prostitutes are used to lieing. If you ask them "what did you do before you work here", 90% of them would say "nothing". They dont want you to dig any info on them and if you ask them whether they ever got STD or not, they would always answer "im totally healthy".

I want to say something though...if what you said is true, about there are way more people who have genital wart-causing HPV strains but then they never had genital wartm it's actually a good thing then! Because it means, we can still have sex with our partner and she/he never worry about getting any bump.
Avatar universal
you are right that people said it take months, but my personal experience said it took only about a week. I wasnt very active with prostitutes, only once every few months, sometimes even more so I was very sure who gave me the virus (after all i didnt use condom a week before I got wart on my penis shaft, so Im quite quite sure it was her and not other girls before her)
Avatar universal
I would like to add that there's no such thing as HPV test except pap smear test and even pap smear test CANNOT detect a HPV infection that has gone away (in this case after the 1-2 years time frame thingey)

So when you said about genital wart test, the only way to test that is to look at visible warts because there's no blood test nor any "hidden" test to check our current HPV infection. Conclusion is, if the sex worker has treated her genital wart a week ago, then she goes to a doctor, she would be tested clean for genital wart.

so whatever your logics tell you about genital wart, it's simply not true. Herpes can be tested (even though the blood test is not very reliable) but there's no test for genital wart HPV. There is, actually, but it's not available for public. The only way to know about wart is for the doctor to check on your genital area. If he/she cant find it, then you are clean.
Avatar universal
I have no interest in debating this but I would like to clear up a few items. First if you read the post by Dr. Handsfield—he states, “Most of what we know is based on clinical observation and common sense, not on firm data.” And that is a true statement but there is ongoing research.

My point stands that most of the data is on medical modeling of the numbers and are not true statistics—and there is evidence that these numbers are inflated scaring people. And whether you believe me or not, it is really not healthy to get caught up in the numbers. And most people do not understand that HPV, both low and high risk are transient infections that clear quickly in most people.

There have been many, many studies on sex workers because they are looking for cofactors—why some people get HPV and others do not. Most of these studies are done abroad but some have been done in the US. There is evidence that HPV prevalence declines with age in sex workers that continue to be highly sexually active indicating an acquired immune response over time. And the number of sex workers that acquire HPV is according to studies approximately the same as the general public. This is not a Doctor seeing a sex worker in a clinic and diagnosing GW visually as in your example—these are research studies. The studies are done with hundreds of women and there have been transmission studies with both males and females that are not sex workers. In all these studies they compile data from questionnaires and; in women—they do Pap tests, sometimes biopsies, test urine, anal swab, hands and nails. In men—they swab the penis (the shaft, glands penis, scrotum, and inner foreskin), anal swab, hands (palms, fingertips, under nails). This is usually done over lengthy periods of time, with testing done at specific targets such as monthly, biannually and yearly. They test by the most sensitive method—PCR. If you are negative by PCR, then you are negative—this does not mean you have a sub clinical infection that is asymptomatic. This is the true negative. They compare and analyze the results to determine trends and percentages. Medical research is complex and takes years.

The problem with HPV is they started talking about it approximately 10 years ago (the studies began in the early 90’s) and they let out information that was not completely validated; that is now known to be not true. Such as HPV causes cancer--It is now known this is incorrect! The fact is a persistent infection (one that does not clear) combined with unknown co factors may in SOME (rare) women in the US may cause cervical cancer usually in women in their late 40’s that have not had a Pap in 5 years. They also stated that if you had HPV either high or low risk, you had it for life and it is now a consensus among researchers that for most it is a transient infection.

HPV can be tested in blood; however it is not accurate just the same as some of herpes tests. The blood test will show if you have antibodies but it does not tell if you have an active infection, it means that you have had exposure to HPV at some point. So in the sense that anyone wondered if they had ever been exposed, the blood test could indicate that. But it is really not worth doing.

Contrary to your post that the Pap is the only way to test for HPV—there are 2 HPV tests in the US and it is used with the Pap test but it does also have some problems because it can’t accurately diagnose a specific genotype. Genotyping is coming in the near future and there are some trials in progress at present.

And a genital wart can be biopsied for a true diagnosis in cases of uncertainty.

I don’t think anyone should take any of the info that they read on the internet; as truth—especially as you aptly put someone like me with a “dude/gal” opinion. I do suggest that a lot of the information that is out there is “old information” that confuses people. I am also not suggesting that you read what I post; I put the information out there for people that are interested. My focus has never been low risk HPV, although I comment from time to time.

My focus is all the women that are told that they are at risk for cancer with a mildly abnormal Pap when they are not at risk. They don’t understand the testing and many physicians don’t understand it either. Women are still getting LEEPS (removal of part of their cervix) for CIN 1 when this is a reversible condition—old data suggests that CIN 1 is dangerous. You may have anxiety due to genital warts but before you dismiss what I post—put yourself in the position of a young woman that is told she may be at risk for cancer and then maybe you would like someone like me to come along with the more recent relevant information.
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